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Coming Soon: SportsDirect advert

Discussion in 'Newcastle United' started by overseasTOON, Jul 29, 2011.

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  1. overseasTOON

    overseasTOON Active Member

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    Seeing that Venkys have used Blackburn Rovers in their latest advert to shift more poultry; it got me wondering what a Mike Ashley inspired advert would be like if using NUFC.

    *START* Cheeky chappy cockerknee music begins.

    Team come charging into the changing room to the sound of "Newcastle, Newcastle, Newcastle" emanating from the crowd.

    Pardew is issuing orders and pointing to a white board. Camera pans to white board showing arrows from St. James’ to the nearest SportsDirect shop represented by a large logo.

    Enrique is furiously typing away on his mobile.

    Cut to Smith, Perch and Stevie Taylor placing discount labels into clear plastic bags containing sports clothing.

    When full they throw them towards Harper who makes catch after catch. Krul fills up players arms as they stand in a queue.

    Pardew has arm around Tiote who has arms full of clothes in bags. Tiote smiles.

    Barton pretends to steal a pair of shorts from Tiotes arms.

    Everyone laughs.

    Mike forces them back to work.

    Enrique is still typing away.

    Llambias appears and hands Enrique a red card.

    Enrique laughs and hands over his mobile and wallet.

    Jonas is pictured running through the streets of Newcastle with a massive SportsDirect bag over his shoulder waving to the pedestrians.

    Jonas arrives outside SportsDirect and opens the bag to reveal footballs plastered with SportsDirect discount labels. Places a ball near him.

    Leon Best runs from behind *sound of crowd in anticipation* and rifles a shot towards the open SportsDirect doors. *massive cheer from the crowd*

    Misses.

    *Newcastle, Newcastle, Newcastle from the crowd*

    Whole squad pictured together with price tags on them.

    SportsDirect. Cheap. Available.

    *END*
     
    #1
    overseasTOON, Jul 29, 2011
  2. I Sit Next To A Badger-Leazes Corner

    I Sit Next To A Badger-Leazes Corner Well-Known Member

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    <laugh> <laugh> <laugh>
     
    #2
    I Sit Next To A Badger-Leazes Corner, Jul 29, 2011
  3. You'veBeenTiote'd

    You'veBeenTiote'd Active Member

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    <laugh> get that made!
     
    #3
    You'veBeenTiote'd, Jul 29, 2011
  4. G4rdToonArmy

    G4rdToonArmy Well-Known Member

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    Class!!!
     
    #4
    G4rdToonArmy, Jul 29, 2011
  5. Andmcit

    Andmcit Member

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    Surely Ameobi would deflect Best's ball off his backside at the last second into the stratosphere?

    You could show Ranger blinged all gangsta styley in the background selling drugs with a golden gun sticking out the beltline of his shorts too...
     
    #5
    Andmcit, Jul 29, 2011
  6. gotcoffee

    gotcoffee Member

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    I'd like to suggest "Knees up Mother Brown" or "Doing the Lambeth Walk" and a token Pearly King <ok>
     
    #6
    gotcoffee, Jul 29, 2011
  7. A November Night In Rotterdam

    A November Night In Rotterdam Active Member

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    That is mint! Particularly like the part about Enrique handing over his wallet and phone.
     
    #7
    A November Night In Rotterdam, Jul 29, 2011
  8. MagpieMuzz

    MagpieMuzz Active Member

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    <laugh><laugh> brilliant
     
    #8
    MagpieMuzz, Jul 29, 2011
  9. overseasTOON

    overseasTOON Active Member

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    We could have 'Doing the Llambias Walk'.
     
    #9
    overseasTOON, Jul 29, 2011
  10. Alfie

    Alfie Active Member

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    Smith, Perch & Xisco wearing clearance sale everything must go 70% off lables.
     
    #10
    Alfie, Jul 29, 2011

  11. Mod Face

    Mod Face Well-Known Member

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    Get this sent to the fatman himself!

    Don't forget to have the 'Newcastle' chants in cockney accents and show the players returning home with a £1 pay cheque and hungry children. <ok>
     
    #11
    Mod Face, Jul 29, 2011
  12. MagpieMuzz

    MagpieMuzz Active Member

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    If only
     
    #12
    MagpieMuzz, Jul 29, 2011
  13. overseasTOON

    overseasTOON Active Member

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    I've got it!! Free delivery!
     
    #13
    overseasTOON, Jul 29, 2011
  14. MagpieMuzz

    MagpieMuzz Active Member

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    Yes! Spread the word.
     
    #14
    MagpieMuzz, Jul 29, 2011
  15. TJR_NUFC

    TJR_NUFC Well-Known Member

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    <laugh> Thats brilliant, I'd love to see it made!
     
    #15
    TJR_NUFC, Jul 29, 2011
  16. Aldridge_Prior

    Aldridge_Prior Active Member

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    That's just ridiculous.
     
    #16
    Aldridge_Prior, Jul 29, 2011
  17. overseasTOON

    overseasTOON Active Member

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    I may have used some artistic license...
     
    #17
    overseasTOON, Jul 29, 2011
  18. SeatonSluiceToon

    SeatonSluiceToon Member

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    Or alternatively, a free Sports Direct mug with every purchase over £1m

    please log in to view this image


    You could say anyone who buys the stuff is a 'Sports Direct mug'....
     
    #18
    SeatonSluiceToon, Jul 29, 2011
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