I'm back, chaps

Gutted to be back home after having a whole week abroad in 35 degree heat.

Anyway, what have I missed? If someone could fill me in on the major points that would be sweet. I didn't even get a chance to watch the QPR match, but I did hear it was a 0-0 draw.

Oh, and while I was there, I met this bloke from the North East who is a Sunderland fan. He started talking about how he'd use Gyan to do this and do that, then I had the delicious opportunity, as a mag, to tell this mackem for the first time that his star striker had just left for some Arab team mere hours before. He accused me of taking the piss for 20 odd minutes before another bloke there confirmed it. Had a face like a smacked arse and went on a massive rant about wanting Bruce out. It felt too good.

 

We were very lucky to get a point at QPR as they completely bossed the game from the start although they rarely tested Krul. We did make two goal line clearances though.

Ryan Taylor was ripped to shreds by SWP , Colo and Saylor were decent , Simpson strangely very solid. Jonas and Obertan lacked end product and Tiote had a ****ing shocker.

Best forced a great save from Kenny and Ameobi was horrible , just ****ing horrible.

Barton was booed by sections of the away fans but was applauded at the end and he returned the favour. Oh and he was their captain.

That's about it , hope you enjoyed your holiday

 

This.

Nice to see you back Chappaz!

 

Haha well, we were absolutely abysmal against QPR, don't let the scoreline fool you. Pards got the tactics wrong, and we were overwhelmed in midfield, Taraabt and SWP had field days, and Tiote had his worst game in a Newcastle shirt. Shola and Raylor were embarrassingly bad, Cabaye was anonymous...

But at the end of the day, we got a clean sheet and a draw, so I suppose picking up points when playing badly is a sign of a good team Also, Obertan looked very good good when he got the ball. Hopefully Pardew will completely sort them out for Saturday!

 

Welcome back.

We played very poorly but got a point at QPR, they missed several decent chances and but for better finishing would've won by a couple of clear goals. Taylor and Simmo cleared two off the line. Shola was terrible. SWP tore us apart (or Raylor anyway), Taarabt was very good in the first half and Faurlin looked class. We didn't test their weak back four, so a point in retrospect is good. Can't think of much more as only got back at the end of last week myself.

 

Didn't know you'd been away. Where was it that you went to?

 

there goes the forum

seen your pic of your holiday bah you've let yourself go no wonder tash calls you a fat ****er

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anyway hope ya had a good un and missed your diplomatic rants

 

Yeah where abouts did you go lad? I am off to Turkey for a week on Thursday.

 

Cheers hombre.

He was their captain? What happened to people having to actually work for priviledges like that these days? If I was a long-standing QPR player I'd be pissed off having a player just walk in and start ordering me around from day one. How did he play?

Cheers matey.

It's starting to sound like a miracle we even got a point. Shame about Tiote. I was expecting him to bounce back this match. Seems he still needs more time.

But yeah. One point and a clean sheet

Alcudia matey. Majorca. Was superb.

Cool cheers. Might have got one if we didn't play fooking Ameobi AGAIN.

Did anything else happen outside of the footie matches? Any news or gossip?

 

I'm actually really chilled out after the holiday so I don't know where my rants will come from at the moment. Once I get back into normal life I'm sure the anger will build and my hatred for mongs/tash will return in a wave of fury.

Alcudia in Majorca for a week. Little port town. Wish I was still there I really do. 11 days would have been so much better.

 

Ahh nice one mate, glad you had a good time. Apparently weather in Turkey is around 35 too so can't wait. I know someone who has been Alcudia and they said it was mint too, a week does generally go too quick though.

 

He did well for them , a few good passes that we could have used on the night , nearly set them up with a goal , excellent through ball to SWP , he chipped it over Krul but Saylor headed it off the line and to safety.

Had a little argument with Sammy as well but they shook hands at the end of the game.

Also thanked Tiote on twitter for bruising him and giving him a dead leg.

 

Welcome back man

 

Hope you had a good time.

 

Get any stats from the the holiday i.e conversion rate of sun to sunburn.. haha

Nah welcome back!!

 

Had a good holiday in Acapulco a while back, stayed three weeks and customs officers made cracks about me maybe looking like a white man at one time.

Went through quite a few Corona's and Dos Equi's.

 

That doesn't sound too bad then I suppose. At least we won't have to deal with him again for a while. It feels a little awkward.

Three weeks? Nice.

And cheers lads.

 

You bring us back a present I hope?

 

Not one that you are thinking of...

 

I've brought back my helmet hunter abilities to keep you all protected from the woeful helmet banter. It's my duty on this forum.