I'd take him on loan for the rest of the season. If you look at his record he always does well for the first six months at a new club, but then stops trying. On that basis you'd get 10-12 goals out of him, after which he can **** right off.
What a stupid OP! The sort of thing you would see on Fantasy Island not here. Agree with other post: Grow up.
I think it's just a reflection of the mojo level on our forum that's quite understandably flat-lining at the moment.