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Match Day Thread Chelsea vs Southampton, 19:45, Tuesday 25th April

Discussion in 'Southampton' started by Le Tissier's Laces, Apr 20, 2017.

  1. Le Tissier's Laces

    Le Tissier's Laces Well-Known Member

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    Right, let's do this.

    League leaders Chelsea face moral victors, the Super Saints of Southampton at a crumbly old ground somewhere in West London.

    The Opposition

    Chelsea are a Russian club, formed in 2003 in a small coal mine in Saratov, USSR. Having been built on the bones of long-forgotten maidens and gulag workers, they were most recently recognised in the House of Lords as being "club most likely to try and shag your girlfriend". The award was presented to their Captain, Legend and Leader, John Terry, who has recently announced his move into competitive knitting at the end of the season.

    Widely followed in the main by Italian wine dealers and collectors of Faberge eggs, Chelsea have moved on from their dark past in the salt mines of Siberia, and now contain a number of expensively assembled playing staff, called transformers.

    Chelsea's manager is an Italian cobbler, who sold up his shop and wooden doll in order to take the team to the summit of the Premier League. He seems nice.

    Form

    Chelsea - WWLWWL

    Saints - WLDWWL

    Chelsea are currently top of the league, but being pursued by a snake oil salesman called Pinnochio, which terrifies the cobbler as it brings about dark memories from his shop, so they are feeling a bit edgy. Southampton are comfortably chilling in ninth. Like an espresso martini, in taste and style.

    Southampton will be welcoming back midfield dynamo and Scrabble saving word when you have too many vowels, Oriol Romeu. We will also be hopefully tipping a nod to a fitter Manolo Gabbiadini. When I say fitter, I mean physically, rather than in the Graziano sense, though if he scores a hat-trick, he can touch me.

    Referee: Lee (Free)Mason
    Assistants:
    Don't know yet
    Fifth Official: Tom

    Prediction: A triumph for Beaujolais over Chianti and a surprising 1-3 reverse against the Russians.
     
    #1
    Last edited: Apr 21, 2017
  2. tomw24

    tomw24 Well-Known Member
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    Referee is Lee Mason.
     
    #2
  3. fran-MLs little camera

    fran-MLs little camera Well-Known Member

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    I like 9th....put up a couple of pictures and add a few cushions and it could be homely. :)
     
    #3
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  4. TheSecondStain

    TheSecondStain Needs an early night

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    Nicely done there LTL. I never realised you had quite the Goon/Pythonesque side. ;)
     
    #4
  5. Onionman

    Onionman Well-Known Member

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    I'm sick of saying we'll stuff 'em when we're up against top six sides but this time we'll stuff 'em with half a dozen packets of Paxo. They won't be able to walk after the game.

    Vin
     
    #5
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  6. Shepherd's Clearing

    Shepherd's Clearing Well-Known Member

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    Here's my factual, no negativity, nothing said good or bad post....

    CHELSEA (AWAY)
    First competitive game against Chelsea - 1923 FA Cup 2nd Round (away) draw 0-0 (won replay 1-0)

    First league meeting: 1924-25 League Division Two - (H) draw 0-0 (A) lost 0-1

    First top-flight league meeting: 1967-68 League Division One - (H) lost 3-5 (A) won 6-2

    Biggest defeat 2013 FA Cup 3rd Round (home) lost 1-5 (also lost 0-4 away in 1973-74 and 2003-04)

    Biggest win 1968-69 League Division One (home) 5-0 (also scored 6 in 6-2 away in 1967-68)

    Last league double - Saints 1987-88 Division One (H) 3-0, (A) 1-0, Chelsea 2013-14 Premier League (H) 0-3, (A) 1-3

    League totals: Saints won 24, Chelsea won 37, draws 24 - Goals-Saints 109 Chelseas 132

    Cup totals: Saints won 4, Chelsea won 3, draws 4 - Goals-Saints 15 Chelsea 13
     
    #6
  7. ----HistoryRepeating----

    ----HistoryRepeating---- Well-Known Member

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    Nice match thread. Gives me a good feeling.
     
    #7
  8. davecg69

    davecg69 Well-Known Member

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    Fifth Official - Tom :emoticon-0102-bigsm
    Nice one, LTL - made me smile (and no offence to our own referee ....)
     
    #8
  9. Le Tissier's Laces

    Le Tissier's Laces Well-Known Member

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    I fear my match threading may be short lived, but thought it was about time to give it a shot!
     
    #9
  10. fran-MLs little camera

    fran-MLs little camera Well-Known Member

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    I'm expecting to see this against Chelsea or I shall suspect Maya is slacking. :)
     
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  11. fran-MLs little camera

    fran-MLs little camera Well-Known Member

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    That would be a yes. :)
     
    #11
  12. Romsey_Saint

    Romsey_Saint Well-Known Member

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    Very nice - now if he could just bury a couple of those headed opportunities he's had of late! :emoticon-0100-smile
     
    #12
  13. thereisonlyoneno7

    thereisonlyoneno7 Well-Known Member

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    My favourite thread of the year - nice one LTL :)

    Now, let's make it my favourite game :)
     
    #13
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  14. Saint

    Saint Active Member

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    Could be the greatest description of teams ever written on this forum. "Like an espresso martini."
     
    #14
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  15. ChilcoSaint

    ChilcoSaint What a disgrace
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    Great thread Laces. I particularly like the description of your favourite manager as a "snake oil salesman"!
     
    #15
  16. Libby

    Libby 9-0

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    Cracking thread LTL <ok>

    Hard one to judge this, they're under pressure a bit for the first time in months. Not sure if that goes in our favour or not really.

    The fact that they have semi final against Spurs at the weekend definitely suits us though. Reckon that could be a spicy affair too so lets hope for a red or 2.

    Romeu back is a huge plus, and Gabbi should be raring to go too.
     
    #16
  17. Libby

    Libby 9-0

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    Oh and I'm off to this one <diva>

    Looking forward to it, be good to tick the Bridge off before it gets redeveloped.

    Still annoyed and think Saints ****ed up by taking smallest allocation though <doh>
     
    #17
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  18. Le Tissier's Laces

    Le Tissier's Laces Well-Known Member

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    Just adjusted that actually!
     
    #18
  19. timatoketchup

    timatoketchup Well-Known Member

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    If we win this I will eat my hat.
     
    #19
  20. ChilcoSaint

    ChilcoSaint What a disgrace
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    Mmm, preferred the original but a nice image! The cobbler was a woodcarver named Gepetto, by the way.
     
    #20

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