Why should you have to wait until Christmas day to hear the cracker jokes ? Q.....What is the one thing you can't trust at Christmas. A.....A mince spy ! Q.....What would Father Christmas ride instead of a sleigh if he was a Hell's Angel ? A.....A Holly Davidson ! Q.....What do you call a snowman in a desert ? A.....A little bit silly ! Q.....What did Adam say to his wife the day before Christmas ? A.....It's nearly Christmas, Eve ! Q.....Who delivers Christmas presents for teddy bears ? A.....Santa Paws ! Q.....What do you get if you cross Father Christmas with a Duck ? A.....A Christmas Quacker ! Q.....What did the Beaver say to the Christmas Tree ? A.....Nice Gnawing you ! Q.....What did one snowman say to the other ? A.....The dinner must be ready because i keep smelling carrots! Q.....What did the Policeman say to his stomach ? A.....You're under a vest ! Q.....What wobbles when it flies ? A.....A jelly-copter ! Q.....Which is the warmest athlete in winter ? A.....A long-jumper ! Q.....Why did the women lose her job at the orange factory ? A.....She couldn't concentrate ! Q.....What has four legs and can't run ? A.....A table ! Q.....What always goes up and never comes down ? A.....Your age ! Q.....What do you call a boy who likes playing with leaves ? A.....Rustle ! Q.....What do you call a girl who stands between two goal posts ? A.....Annette ! If you don't laugh at these I promise I will find some more to annoy you with.
I laughed. I thought a snowman in the desert was a puddle but perhaps comedy is now more avant garde.
I was just browsing through the local Residents Association Magazine and found them......I'm sure I can find some more when I get the Christmas decorations down from the loft at the weekend......the son-in-law is an expert on answering them most Christmas meal times....a fount of useless information....he could go on Master Mind answering them as his specialist subject.
All right calm down calm down..........actually I might still have a shell suit in me wardrobe. I think it's next to my flares.
