Mouser Watch #2

Yes the three s's ,the first thing one does in the morning, Sh*t, shower and shave. OSpurcat insists on a shave and they are a shower of sh*t.

 

Sadly, it appears Klip Klipperty Klopp has succumbed to the dreaded Mouseritisis, also known as Delusions of Grandure.

Since taking charge at Klanfield he has refrained from blaming others for the failures of Liverpool Football Club, often putting the blame on himself in order to protect the mercenaries who currently represent the red side of Mouserland. In after-match interviews he has just shrugged his shoulders and stated ‘swings and roundabouts’ like any normal well balanced person would, up until last night that is.

All of a sudden during the post-match interview he began to display tell-tale mouse-like twitches before going head-long into a rant regarding a supposed handball, before reverting completely to mouser-type, by harping on about historic ‘not given handballs and decisions not given to Liverpool’, in particular one against Manure in a recent meeting between the two teams. It is now likely he will develop a passion for cheese and start nibbling holes in his skirting boards.

It had been hoped that Klipperty would have a degree of immunity against this debilitating disease given that both his Grandfather and great Grandfather are likely to have fought bravely against the might of the British in two World Wars, and at least one of them was probably involved in dropping high explosives and/or incendiaries on Mouserland to further the cause of the Fatherland. However, the return of Stevie ‘Slippy’ G to the confines of Klanfield, who has just returned after amassing a fine collection of hubcaps purloined from towns and cities all over America, appears to have tipped him over the edge.

To date, no cure has been found for Mouseritis, it has proved resistant to all known antibiotics and even having one’s house burgled on numerous occasions by one’s own so called ‘supporters’, does not delay the onset of this tragic condition. You know what I mean?

It is likely that in the coming months, he will probably start recalling when the Shankly and Paisley teams were also robbed, both figuratively on the pitch and literally, from their homes during Matchdays. Nevertheless, there is one glimmer of hope. If his wife and children are accosted by an armed gang and tied up and robbed at knife-point, he might have an Einstein moment and figure it’s time to get the hell out of there.

Our thoughts and prayers are with you Jürgen. Next year will be your year. Amen.

 

You forgot the clincher........

"I’m disappointed, there’s big disappointment. It was difficult. The wind was really strange, it was difficult to handle.

"You saw one or two balls when the ball stopped in a moment when nobody knew about it. That was difficult for a football-playing side.

"I said a few times when I came here about the wind and everybody was laughing, but today was really difficult, really difficult to play football with this wind."

Everybody was laughing? No ****?

It couldn't be that you've destroyed Sturridge? He was always injury prone but he used to be able to put the ball in the net when he made it onto the pitch.

 

Wind? He's full of it.

I hope leaves on the line don't derail his bid to beat Chelsea this weekend though.

 

I had, had being the operative word, quite a bit of respect for him never blaming influences outside of his control, but that has gone now. He's a mouse through and through.

 

Liverpool have now played Southampton three times this season and failed to register a single goal.
I know that some Saints fans have been underwhelmed by Puel, but he certainly seems to have Klopp's number.

 

It isn't as if last night was the first time Norbert has blamed referees for Liverpool losing - he was talking about phantom handballs after Sevilla swatted them aside in last season's Europa League final, tried to claim that the ref got it wrong when giving Sunderland a penalty for Mane handling in the area agsinst SUnderland a couple of weeks ago, while his alternative facts after getting dumped out the FA Cup by West Scam involved him accuse the ref of making "funny decisions" yet somehow forget to mention the ref's decisions were so "funny" that he didn't give the Scammers a penalty after Valencia was wrestled to the ground in the box

Then there's the time he blamed Liverpool's press officer after he was fined for swearing on live TV and the laws of physics for his side's inability to defend set pieces

Oh yeah, there's also the time at Dortmund where he got sent off and slapped with a €10,000 fine for spending half an hour bawling at the fourth official while they were losing 2-0 to A German Team...

 

I guess Liverpool are feeling like we were after the Tottenham 0 Crystal Palace 1 cup game last season.Let's not do it again.

Did Real Madrid get to cocky playing too many bench warmers.....like we've been doing in recent cup games!?

 

I get your general point Smithy, but Liverpool were close to their strongest side last night.
Mane's away at the African Nations, Clyne's injured and the keeper's debatable, but that's it.
Klopp went all out to try and win it.

 

Well,yes.That was a semi final.I think Poch would have put out his strongest team because of that.

 

The bulldozers have moved into Anfield.

Not the stadium, but the streets next to it - to build a hotel and some shops for the local shoplifters.......sorry, residents.

 

"Hello everyone. Welcome to The Redmen TV, especially the fans of other clubs, who have come here for a laugh."

 

MOTD or Sky need to sign that guy up - he gave an honest appraisal of the match and the result, rather than try and line up a bunch of excuses for Norbert to use.

 

The subtitles are very funny

 

A grounded Scouser

He should be pickled and donated to medical science.

 

Or cloned???

 

What language was that?........and was the fella behind munching on a Ken Dodd chip buttie?

 

It's true. The two Wolves scorers on Saturday do sound like a Geordie woman begging her husband not to leave.

Stearman and Weimann

 

I guess a few of us will be shouting for the mousers tonight, that doesn't happen very often. 4 times a season to be exact, chavs and goons, home and away. I hope the wind drops tonight.