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Match Day Thread Newcastle vs Arsenal

Discussion in 'Newcastle United' started by JakartaToon, Aug 27, 2015.

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  1. JakartaToon

    JakartaToon Well-Known Member
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    The Match Thread you have all been waiting for

    Saturday 29th August 12:45

    Barclays Premier League

    St James Park

    Newcastle United vs Arsenal

    Match Live on BT Sport 1

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    Will new signing Florian Thauvin (pictured here with his girlfriend) make his Premier League Home debut against Arsenal?

    Preamble

    In a clash of the titans the Arse are in town this weekend to pit their unbeaten away record against the Toon’s undefeated home record. The question on everyone’s lips and the thought which haunts their darkest nightmares – will Williamson’s return to goalscoring form in midweek earn him a first team call-up to supplement our striking firepower in the absence of prodigious first-choice striker Riviere?

    A match-up which is always blessed with goals, unfortunately mostly by the men in red, is eagerly anticipated and has been moved to the early kick-off for BT and to ensure I can watch while having my tea.

    Injuries

    Newcastle will be without long term absentee Riviere (strained his knee falling over the ball when scoring against QPR) but Sissoko is making good progress from a groin injury (which he sustained when first introduced to Thauvin’s wife) and could be fit to play.

    Arsenal’s injury problems will definitely be without Wilshere, Rosicky and Welbeck while Koscielny and Mertesacker are also doubts, the former more so.

    Previous Form in this fixture (since 1933)

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    Last 10 PL Games

    2014-2015 Lost 1-2
    2013-2014 Lost 0-1
    2012-2013 Lost 0-1
    2011-2012 Drew 0-0
    2010-2011 Drew 4-4
    2009-2010 Decided we didn’t want to play them so got relegated
    2008-2009 Lost 1-3
    2007-2008 Drew 1-1
    2006-2007 Drew 1-1
    2005-2006 Won 1-0

    My keen statistical analysis suggests:
    1) we did better against them when they had Woolwich in their name
    2) we are most likely to win or draw when they don’t score except if they score 4
    3) 1-0 to the Arsenal or 1-1 is most likely score (can I change my prediction?)

    Odds (courtesy of that Irish bloke)

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    Jaks Key Match-Ups

    Giroud vs Mbemba – think we need to put Mbemba on Giroud and leave Colo to mop up behind and cover.

    Sanchez vs either fullback – this could well end in tears

    Mitrovic vs Mertesaker – apparently he hates Germans – could well be blood

    My Prediction

    Gone with 2-1 to the Toon but what do I know!

    Key phrases for the Headline Game

    Arse (up the, -raped)
    Gunners (to much in the armoury, shot down in flames)
     
    #1
    Last edited by a moderator: Aug 27, 2015
  2. Sheikh_of_Araby

    Sheikh_of_Araby Well-Known Member

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    2-0 Us. Arsenal aren't all that.
     
    #2
  3. JakartaToon

    JakartaToon Well-Known Member
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    Dont know whether you can see the pictures if not:
    upload_2015-8-27_18-19-17.png
    upload_2015-8-27_18-19-33.png
    upload_2015-8-27_18-19-45.png
     
    #3
  4. Joelinton's Right Foot

    Joelinton's Right Foot Worth Every Penny
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    added them in for you <ok>
     
    #4
  5. anyobrien

    anyobrien Well-Known Member

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    Ton win 1 nowt
     
    #5
  6. Albert's Chip Shop

    Albert's Chip Shop Top Grafter
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    Good stuff Jakarta.
    I predict a 2-1 win for the Toon.
     
    #6
  7. Maximin Effort

    Maximin Effort Well-Known Member

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    2-1 to the Toon.

    I've predicted this scoreline for every game so far and shall continue to do so until it comes in!
     
    #7
  8. anyobrien

    anyobrien Well-Known Member

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    just took us for The win on sky bet at 5 to 1 canny odds for any home team.
     
    #8
  9. Lord Jonjomort

    Lord Jonjomort Well-Known Member

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    Just in case anyone couldn't see the picture of Florian...

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    This should compensate.
     
    #9
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  10. Albert's Chip Shop

    Albert's Chip Shop Top Grafter
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    What lovely bone structure.....
     
    #10

  11. Sheikh_of_Araby

    Sheikh_of_Araby Well-Known Member

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    Really? I was about to say she's stacked.
     
    #11
  12. JakartaToon

    JakartaToon Well-Known Member
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    Thanks mate - you computer nerd you!
     
    #12
  13. Lord Jonjomort

    Lord Jonjomort Well-Known Member

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    Not a lot of bone in the bits I'm looking at.

    That said, I'm sure I could find a bone for her quite easily.
     
    #13
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  14. Sheikh_of_Araby

    Sheikh_of_Araby Well-Known Member

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    She should sit in the Leazes End. I'll make her feel comfortable.
     
    #14
  15. Warmir Pouchov

    Warmir Pouchov Better than JPF

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    That's it lads you objectify his girlfriend. I'm sick of the sexism on these boards. This is a matchday thread FFS. At least respect the nature of the board if you don't respect women :emoticon-0148-yes:

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    #15
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  16. Albert's Chip Shop

    Albert's Chip Shop Top Grafter
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    anyone else camel spotting..?
     
    #16
  17. Sheikh_of_Araby

    Sheikh_of_Araby Well-Known Member

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    John Terry is probably looking at her pics and tossing one off as we speak. Dirty bastard.
     
    #17
  18. Obi Wan

    Obi Wan keeper of the peace

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    My prediction is that Jakarta will now win the coveted new 'matchday thread of the season' title - so there is no point in me doing one. Congrats Jak. <applause>


    Oh and we will lose, sell Thauvin and get relegated.
     
    #18
  19. jimileysbaldhead

    jimileysbaldhead Well-Known Member

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    3-1 win with Mitrovic getting 2 and Thauvin getting the other one.
     
    #19
  20. Wisey's Hair

    Wisey's Hair Well-Known Member

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    Predicting a 2-0 defeat for this one, just because of our dreadful record. Giroud to bag a brace as he usually does.

    Then a beel meltdown for the next week.
     
    #20
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