1. Log in now to remove adverts - no adverts at all to registered members!

Off Topic - Short jokes

Discussion in 'Newcastle United' started by Lord Jonjomort, Apr 9, 2015.

Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.
Page 2 of 3
  1. Lord Jonjomort

    Lord Jonjomort Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Feb 25, 2014
    Messages:
    7,138
    Likes Received:
    3,487
    Conjuctivitis.com - a site for sore eyes.

    My wife told me sex is better on holiday. Not a nice postcard to get.

    Have you heard about the evil group of men who control all the world’s cheese? The hallouminati.
     
    #21
    Lord Jonjomort, Apr 10, 2015
  2. Sheikh_of_Araby

    Sheikh_of_Araby Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Apr 10, 2012
    Messages:
    13,483
    Likes Received:
    9,602
    Here's a good short joke..............Newcastle United
     
    #22
    Sheikh_of_Araby, Apr 10, 2015
  3. Fork Handles

    Fork Handles Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Mar 27, 2014
    Messages:
    533
    Likes Received:
    344
    #23
    Fork Handles, Apr 10, 2015
  4. Deleted #

    Deleted # Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jun 27, 2011
    Messages:
    20,587
    Likes Received:
    9,884
    Statistically, 9/10 people enjoy gang rape.
     
    #24
    Deleted #, Apr 10, 2015
    Home_and_Away and Brian Storm like this.
  5. Deleted #

    Deleted # Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jun 27, 2011
    Messages:
    20,587
    Likes Received:
    9,884
    One hundred billion barrels of oil found in England.

    Good, it's about time those ****ing yanks did something about the Muslims over here.
     
    #25
    Deleted #, Apr 10, 2015
  6. Deleted #

    Deleted # Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jun 27, 2011
    Messages:
    20,587
    Likes Received:
    9,884
    What has two wings and a halo?

    A Chinese telephone.
     
    #26
    Deleted #, Apr 10, 2015
    Brian Storm likes this.
  7. Deleted #

    Deleted # Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jun 27, 2011
    Messages:
    20,587
    Likes Received:
    9,884
    I turned into a cat earlier.

    Don't ask meow.
     
    #27
    Deleted #, Apr 10, 2015
    Home_and_Away and Brian Storm like this.
  8. Deleted #

    Deleted # Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jun 27, 2011
    Messages:
    20,587
    Likes Received:
    9,884
    Some guy knocked on my door today and said, "I have a parcel for your next door neighbour."

    I said, "You've got the wrong house then, mate."
     
    #28
    Deleted #, Apr 10, 2015
    Brian Storm likes this.
  9. Somebodys pinched my sombrero

    Somebodys pinched my sombrero Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jan 29, 2011
    Messages:
    9,036
    Likes Received:
    7,317
    On form tonight!
     
    #29
    Somebodys pinched my sombrero, Apr 10, 2015
  10. Home_and_Away

    Home_and_Away Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Aug 14, 2013
    Messages:
    4,491
    Likes Received:
    2,596
    As always !! <laugh>
     
    #30
    Home_and_Away, Apr 10, 2015

  11. Brian Storm

    Brian Storm Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Dec 31, 2012
    Messages:
    48,871
    Likes Received:
    16,294
    Why did Hitler commit suicide?

    He got the gas bill
     
    #31
    Brian Storm, Apr 10, 2015
    Deleted and Home_and_Away like this.
  12. Home_and_Away

    Home_and_Away Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Aug 14, 2013
    Messages:
    4,491
    Likes Received:
    2,596
    What time is it when you have to go to the dentist?
    Tooth-hurtie :emoticon-0136-giggl
     
    #32
    Home_and_Away, Apr 10, 2015
    Deleted and Brian Storm like this.
  13. Brian Storm

    Brian Storm Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Dec 31, 2012
    Messages:
    48,871
    Likes Received:
    16,294
    How risque can we be here?

    Why did so many black people die in Vietnam?

    Because when they were ordered to get down they all started dancing.
     
    #33
    Brian Storm, Apr 10, 2015
    Deleted and Home_and_Away like this.
  14. Home_and_Away

    Home_and_Away Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Aug 14, 2013
    Messages:
    4,491
    Likes Received:
    2,596
    What is Bruce Lee’s favorite drink?
    Wataaaah!
     
    #34
    Home_and_Away, Apr 10, 2015
    Deleted and Brian Storm like this.
  15. Brian Storm

    Brian Storm Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Dec 31, 2012
    Messages:
    48,871
    Likes Received:
    16,294
    How do you get 1000 babies into a barrel?


    With a blender.


    How do you get them back out?


    With bread sticks and Doritos.
     
    #35
    Last edited: Apr 10, 2015
    Brian Storm, Apr 10, 2015
    Deleted and Home_and_Away like this.
  16. Home_and_Away

    Home_and_Away Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Aug 14, 2013
    Messages:
    4,491
    Likes Received:
    2,596
    Ever had sex while camping?
    It's ****ing intents !!
     
    #36
    Home_and_Away, Apr 10, 2015
    Deleted and Brian Storm like this.
  17. Brian Storm

    Brian Storm Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Dec 31, 2012
    Messages:
    48,871
    Likes Received:
    16,294
    Ireland 's worst air disaster occurred early this morning when a small two seater light aircraft crashed into a cemetery. Irish search and rescue workers have recovered 1826 bodies so far and expect that number to climb as digging continues into the night.
     
    #37
    Brian Storm, Apr 10, 2015
    Deleted and Home_and_Away like this.
  18. Home_and_Away

    Home_and_Away Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Aug 14, 2013
    Messages:
    4,491
    Likes Received:
    2,596
    <laugh><laugh><laugh><laugh><laugh> < (5 in a row!!)
     
    #38
    Home_and_Away, Apr 10, 2015
    Deleted and Brian Storm like this.
  19. Brian Storm

    Brian Storm Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Dec 31, 2012
    Messages:
    48,871
    Likes Received:
    16,294
    Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, and the other was eating fireworks. They charged one and let the other one off.
     
    #39
    Brian Storm, Apr 10, 2015
    Deleted and Home_and_Away like this.
  20. Home_and_Away

    Home_and_Away Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Aug 14, 2013
    Messages:
    4,491
    Likes Received:
    2,596
    What has got two legs and bleeds?
    Half a dog!!
     
    #40
    Home_and_Away, Apr 10, 2015
    Deleted and Brian Storm like this.
Page 2 of 3
Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.

Share This Page