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Off Topic Pointless Insecty Bastards

Discussion in 'Hull City' started by Happy Tiger, Jun 2, 2017.

  1. Happy Tiger

    Happy Tiger Well-Known Member

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    Our Honey Badger, Buster, also likes flies.

    It was funny at first. Seeing him chomping the air, and occasionally catching one. Then minutes later, seeing him kiss the face of one of the 3 leeches who hadn't seen him catch the fly.

    Now, at 13 years old, you have to be careful the daft little bastard doesn't scramble over our Indonesian mahogany furniture in an attempt to catch, and usually miss, a bluebottle, knocking ornaments, cups etc out of the way.

    Plus the leeches have moved out so that aspects gone too.
     
    #41
  2. Kempton

    Kempton Well-Known Member

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    If you leave a glass of Shiraz on the the kitchen table for two minutes, you too can enjoy the taste of a bluebottle marinade. I didn't swallow it Ern, but it left it's mark on me. I'll never forget.
     
    #42
    Altrincham Tiger likes this.
  3. BlackAndAmberGambler

    BlackAndAmberGambler Well-Known Member

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    Serious point here Ern. You shouldn't encourage it as he may eat a bee or wasp by mistake and get badly stung in his mouth. Just saying like.
     
    #43
  4. where's les mutrie now

    where's les mutrie now Well-Known Member

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    Wasps every time, although those devious night creatures mosquito's run them close.
     
    #44
  5. PattyNchips2

    PattyNchips2 Well-Known Member

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    when having a 5 knuckle shuffle with said hand, if its inflamed and numb..... does it feel like someone else is doing it for you?
     
    #45
  6. Carmine Galante.

    Carmine Galante. Well-Known Member

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    I got bought a fly gun a couple of years ago, it's fooking ace.

    Not as painful a death as being sprayed with poison.

    Fly lands, Carmine stealthily approaches, raises gun. Then steadies his breathing- he's done this before- this gig ain't new to him. Gives a wry smile and......... endex for Mr Fly.

    Just waiting to off a moff.

    ****ing hate moffs.
     
    #46
  7. HHH

    HHH Well-Known Member

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    Had to google it.

    Might stick it on my fathers day wish list.

    Crane flies are another for me.

    They dance around on the ceiling like a lanky Lionel Richie, than suddenly swoop down straight at your head.

    They've got some balls, I'll give them that.
     
    #47
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  8. LeftSaidFred

    LeftSaidFred Well-Known Member

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    I take it your having a piss somewhere other than the bog.
     
    #48
  9. Oregon Tiger

    Oregon Tiger Well-Known Member

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    Cockroaches, especially the huge buggers we used to get in Texas. On the plus side they were good darts practice.
     
    #49
  10. originallambrettaman

    originallambrettaman Mod Moderator
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    Maybugs. Filthy ****ing things. Had one drop down the chimney and start flying round the lounge last week. Thought it was a ****ing bat...

     
    #50

  11. BrAdY

    BrAdY Well-Known Member

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    that's pretty much proven to be nothing more than a myth
     
    #51
  12. Happy Tiger

    Happy Tiger Well-Known Member

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    You've just tried to justify googling for cock chafing.

    FACT.
     
    #52
  13. BlackAndAmberGambler

    BlackAndAmberGambler Well-Known Member

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    Love an electric tennis racquet for swatting flies.
     
    #53
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  14. Plum

    Plum Well-Known Member

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    Rolled up copy of the Daily Telegraph for me.
     
    #54
  15. SimonGraysJacket

    SimonGraysJacket Well-Known Member

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    Yep same here, however tempting it is, do not put your tongue on it and press the button.
    Also quite O/T do not put small 5p coins up your nose, they are difficult to get out.
    Why is it though that when you have your bat ready and poised the ****ing flies disappear on their own whey you are ready to fry em?
     
    #55
    BlackAndAmberGambler likes this.
  16. BlackAndAmberGambler

    BlackAndAmberGambler Well-Known Member

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    Word of warning re the electric tennis racquet. DO NOT attempt to dispatch a fly whilst naked as a short sharp shock to the bellend ****ing hurts...so I'm told.
     
    #56
    SimonGraysJacket likes this.
  17. Happy Tiger

    Happy Tiger Well-Known Member

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    You pair made me laugh.

    Nobbers.
     
    #57

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