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Stumbled on this sarf london banter.

Discussion in 'Leeds United' started by Chippy / Glory, Feb 11, 2017.

  1. Chippy / Glory

    Chippy / Glory Senior Member

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    A Charlton fan, a Palace fan and a Millwall fan were all in Saudi Arabia sharing a smuggled crate of booze. All of a sudden Saudi police rushed in and arrested them. The mere possession of alcohol is a severe offence in Saudi Arabia so for the terrible crime of actually being caught consuming the booze they were sentenced to death!
    After many months and with the help of very good lawyers they were able to successfully appeal their sentence down to life imprisonment.
    By a stroke of luck it was a Saudi National Holiday the day their trial finished and the extremely benevolent Sheikh decided they could be released after receiving just 20 lashes each of the whip. As they were preparing for their punishment the Sheikh suddenly said: "It is my first wife's birthday today and she has asked me to allow each of you one wish before your whipping."
    The Palace fan was first in line (he had consumed the least) so he thought about it for a while and then said: "Please tie a pillow to my back."
    This was done, but the pillow only lasted 10 lashes before the whip went through it. The Palace fan had to be carried away bleeding and crying when the punishment was done.
    The Millwall fan was next up (he almost finished a half-keg) and after watching the scene said: "Please fix two pillows on my back", but even two pillows could only take 15 lashes before the whip went through again.
    The Charlton fan was the last one up (he had finished off the keg) but before he could say anything the Sheikh turned to him and said: "You are from a most beautiful part of London, your area has some of the best and most loyal football fans in the world. For this, you may have two wishes"
    "Thank you your Most Royal and Merciful highness", the Charlton fan replied. "In recognition of your kindness my first wish is that you give me not 20 but 100 lashes."
    "Not only are you an honorable, handsome and powerful man, you are also very brave." The Sheik said with an admiring look on his face, "If 100 lashes is what you desire then so be it. And your second wish, what is it to be?" the Sheik asked.
    "Tie that Millwall fan to my back!...
     
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  2. ellandback

    ellandback Well-Known Member
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    Millwall get their asses whipped week in, week out so you'd think they'd be used to it
     
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  3. MIGHTY

    MIGHTY Del-Boy

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    if they were sharing a crate of smuggled booze where did the Keg's come from <doh>

    Dont know much about beer you northerners do you <doh>
     
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  4. Chippy / Glory

    Chippy / Glory Senior Member

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    One of you southern pussies wrote it... Dont ****ing bring us into it.
     
    #4
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  5. Chippy / Glory

    Chippy / Glory Senior Member

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    Talking of whipping boys i appear to have lost kims number, does someone want to text him to see he is ok and just sulking...
     
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  6. MIGHTY

    MIGHTY Del-Boy

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    Bollox you sat up all night writing that its the sort of thing you anoraks do <ok>
     
    #6
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  7. Chippy / Glory

    Chippy / Glory Senior Member

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    If i had thought i would have renamed the clubs and claimed it as my own work, just like you would have.
     
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  8. MIGHTY

    MIGHTY Del-Boy

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    can you see the flaw in there ?
    you giving something a thought <doh>
     
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  9. brisbane-lion

    brisbane-lion Well-Known Member

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    Sorry, Chips? Who's bringing who into it? Seems to me it came off your board and under YOUR header.
     
    #9
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  10. Irishshako

    Irishshako Well-Known Member

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    Did someone mention beer<ok>
     
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  11. MIGHTY

    MIGHTY Del-Boy

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    ginger beer ?
     
    #11
  12. Irishshako

    Irishshako Well-Known Member

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    :emoticon-0119-puke:
     
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  13. Millwallsteve

    Millwallsteve Waterloo's Finest
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    <yikes> <laugh>
     
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  14. brisbane-lion

    brisbane-lion Well-Known Member

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    This is not funny if you are the Millwall fan! On the other hand, it could be quite good fun........mmmmmmmmm!
     
    #14
  15. Whitejock

    Whitejock Well-Known Member

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    Came across this old chestnut when rummaging through my old files. I enjoyed re-reading it. Hope you will too ...
     

    Attached Files:

    #15
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  16. LeedsLover

    LeedsLover Well-Known Member

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    Good read that Jock...:emoticon-0148-yes:

    Sounds like Alf Garnett was having a conversation with his daughter's boyfriend again.
     
    #16

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