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Off Topic The best joke you know.

Discussion in 'Hull City' started by Qatartiger Cambridgetiger, Nov 13, 2015.

  1. Qatartiger Cambridgetiger

    Qatartiger Cambridgetiger Well-Known Member

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    What's you're best joke?

    One of mine is ...

    The guy who had his house made backwards so he could watch telly.
     
    #1
    Stockholm Tiger likes this.
  2. BlackAndAmberGambler

    BlackAndAmberGambler Well-Known Member

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  3. Happy Tiger

    Happy Tiger Well-Known Member

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    I needed to book a checkup at the dentists so I rang them and spoke to the reception.

    I explained to her that I just needed a checkup.

    "2:30?" She asked? "No" I replied, "I just need a checkup"
     
    #3
  4. Walter Sobchak

    Walter Sobchak Well-Known Member

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    Why was the broom late for work? It overswept.

    Best. Joke. Ever.
     
    #4
  5. Des Head

    Des Head Well-Known Member

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    Why did Noah buy two of everything from the club shop?

    Fer Ark.
     
    #5
  6. originallambrettaman

    originallambrettaman Mod Moderator
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    Want to hear a word I just made up?

    Plagiarism.
     
    #6
  7. Qatartiger Cambridgetiger

    Qatartiger Cambridgetiger Well-Known Member

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    Want to hear a word I just made up?

    Plagiarism <whistle>
     
    #7
  8. originallambrettaman

    originallambrettaman Mod Moderator
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    Someone stole my Microsoft Office and they're going to pay.

    You have my Word.
     
    #8
    Stan The Man likes this.
  9. originallambrettaman

    originallambrettaman Mod Moderator
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    Tried to catch some fog yesterday.

    Mist.
     
    #9
  10. SimonGraysJacket

    SimonGraysJacket Well-Known Member

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    PC World are a joke...... Couldn't print me a VAT invoice today, the printer wasn't working and they couldn't get it to work despite their best efforts which mainly involved hitting it progressively harder
     
    #10

  11. tigercity

    tigercity Well-Known Member

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    a girl walked into a bar and ordered a double-entendre, so the barman gave her one..
     
    #11
  12. Mr. Shoes

    Mr. Shoes Well-Known Member

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    Jesus ****ing wept.
     
    #12
  13. Qatartiger Cambridgetiger

    Qatartiger Cambridgetiger Well-Known Member

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    What all of em?
     
    #13
  14. The greengrocer

    The greengrocer Well-Known Member

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    What's the difference between Dubai & Abu Dhabi? Dubai don't watch The Flintstones but Abu Dhabi doo!
     
    #14
  15. DMD

    DMD Eh?
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    Sexual activity for older males: (where were you born?)

    Statistics just released from The United Nations B.O.H. Team, reveal that:
    British men between 55 and 70 years of age, will, on average, have sex two to three times per week, (and a small number a lot more) whereas Polish men, in exactly the same age group, will have sex only once or twice per year if they are lucky.

    This has come as very upsetting news to me and most of my mates,

    ....as none of us had any idea we were Polish.



    A friend of mine told me he'd been to Africa to dig a water collection facility for a village.
    I think he meant well.


    Paddy phoned the RSPCA to report he had found a dog with 5 puppies in a suitcase down on the canal, the operator says "Thats Terrible, are they moving" to which Paddy replies, "I dont know, but that would explain the suitcase"
     
    #15
    tigercity and rovertiger like this.
  16. lewisc29

    lewisc29 Idiot

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    Reversing the car "Ahh, this takes me back."
     
    #16
  17. Sir Cheshire Ben

    Sir Cheshire Ben Well-Known Member

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    What's brown & sticky?









    Anal
     
    #17
  18. Spook

    Spook Well-Known Member

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    OLM will ban me if I post it.
     
    #18
  19. Jimmy Graham's bald head

    Jimmy Graham's bald head Well-Known Member

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    PC world are a joke, I applied for a job there, got turned down, apparently they only employ black disabled lesbians
     
    #19
  20. Red top reader

    Red top reader Well-Known Member

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    image.jpg
    The funniest thing I ever saw was when me and my
    Nephew went to Scotland on a shop fitting job,
    We were waiting on this road with some portable
    Traffics lights. The sign next to them said
    " when red light shows,wait here"
    This young lass walked up the path next to
    Them and stopped, we were pissing ourselfs,
    I took a pic, she started walking when they
    Turned to green..ha ha ha I couldnt breath...
     
    #20
    Last edited: Nov 15, 2015

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