The Importance of Being Ernest Woodcock

1) How much cash do you have on your person right now? £140 and change

2) Which member of ITTV forum would you most like to whack with a marrow? IA

3) When did you last enter a Post Office? And why? Last week - get a passport application

4) Thoughts on Luton? Mosque capital of the UK

5) Favourite castle? Roy

6) Do you own a Rod Stewart album? Several

7) Would you decorate my downstairs lavatory for £400? I wouldn't get out of bed for £400

8) Can Diane Abbott ever be forgiven for being Diane Abbott? Who cares. Non entity

9) Toenails. Clip or pick? Or neither (for those in North Kent)? Cut with scissors

10) Have you ever owned a pair of moccasin slippers? Yep - wearing mine now

 

Cash none
Don't know any of them
Last month to post a parcel to Oz
Luton losing 7 1
Blarney Castle
No Ros Stewart
Yep but it would be crap
Yep
Clip
Nope

 

Next set of questions:

1) Favourite soup?
2) Do you own a spirit level?
3) Should ghosts pay for their own bus travel?
4) Have you ever won a trophy or medal?
5) When and why did you last play with some Lego?
6) Do you know anyone called Arnold?
7) Would you allow a wounded Les Dennis to take sanctuary in your home for two nights?
8) Do you know of any gays in your family?
9) Have you ever visited Great Dunmow?
10) Should Guardian readers be summarily whipped for their sins?

 

1-Tomato
2-Got 3
3-No
4-No
5-About 14 years ago
6-No
7-No
8-No
9-No
10-No.

 

Could you elaborate on your Lego answer, please?

Three spirit levels.

 

1) Favourite soup? Chicken Curry Soup from Morrisons
2) Do you own a spirit level? 4.. 1 x small 2 x medium 1 x large
3) Should ghosts pay for their own bus travel? Are you mad? When 60 year olds can go free!
4) Have you ever won a trophy or medal? Yes, several
5) When and why did you last play with some Lego? When I was 6
6) Do you know anyone called Arnold? Arnold Ridley... lovely man .. true Gent!
7) Would you allow a wounded Les Dennis to take sanctuary in your home for two nights? NO! but his Ex
8) Do you know of any gays in your family? Most seem quite happy with life.. or is there another meaning to gay?
9) Have you ever visited Great Dunmow? I am banned from Uttlesford... it's a long story
10) Should Guardian readers be summarily whipped for their sins? No, Guardian readers would being whipped

 

When FHB jnr was about 8.

 

I need your advice PEA.... so anybody else please stop reading now
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I am starting to get strong tingling feelings whenever Bianca Westwood is on Sky Sports .... is this normal or should I go to see the Doctor?
PEA

 

1) Favourite soup? Potato and leek
2) Do you own a spirit level? On my phone
3) Should ghosts pay for their own bus travel? Ermm
4) Have you ever won a trophy or medal? Tons when I was a kid/teen. Quite sad I haven't won anything in around 12 years.
5) When and why did you last play with some Lego? Never was a fan.
6) Do you know anyone called Arnold? Hey
7) Would you allow a wounded Les Dennis to take sanctuary in your home for two nights? See AH's answer
8) Do you know of any gays in your family? Yep.
9) Have you ever visited Great Dunmow? Where?
10) Should Guardian readers be summarily whipped for their sins? Print or online?

 

That is definitely normal, AllHell.

In fact, you should only see the doctor if the tingling feelings stop... or they continue when Chris Kamara is on the screen.

 

1) Favourite soup?
Tomato
2) Do you own a spirit level?
No
3) Should ghosts pay for their own bus travel?
Yes, but at the prevailing rate at the time of thier demise
4) Have you ever won a trophy or medal?
In my youth
5) When and why did you last play with some Lego?
Last year, Star Wars Lego (unapologetically too)
6) Do you know anyone called Arnold?
Yes, he's 24 believe it or not...
7) Would you allow a wounded Les Dennis to take sanctuary in your home for two nights?
Only if I felt in some way responsible
8) Do you know of any gays in your family?
Yes
9) Have you ever visited Great Dunmow?
Great Dunno
10) Should Guardian readers be summarily whipped for their sins?
I hope not

 

1) Tomato
2) Yes, last count 5
3) of course, unless over 60
4) a few when young
5) as a child, so 40+ years ago
6) yes
7) nope
8) yes
9) not intentionally, is it in Essex?
10) no, but then I don't believe capital punishment works

 

1. Pickled egg, pickled onion or wally?
2. When did you last enter a Poundland store? And what did you buy?
3. Should same-sex otters be allowed to enter into a civil partnership?
4. Which London Underground station is closest to your home?
5. Would you join me, Donny Osmond and Scott Minto for a game of Monopoly?
6. Do you own any films starring Bruce Willis?
7. The Royal Family: Yes or No?
8. Who would win a fight between a seahorse and a mollusc?
9. When you were at junior school, did you have school dinners or packed lunches?
10. Describe yourself in three words?
11. Should these vital questionnaires continue?

 

1. Pickled egg, pickled onion or wally? Pickled onion crisps.
2. When did you last enter a Poundland store? And what did you buy? All the time. Great place to get drinks snacks for the office.
3. Should same-sex otters be allowed to enter into a civil partnership? Sounds great.
4. Which London Underground station is closest to your home? If the overground line counts then Peckham/Forest Hill. If not, Elephant and Castle.
5. Would you join me, Donny Osmond and Scott Minto for a game of Monopoly? Love monopoly. You'd lose though.
6. Do you own any films starring Bruce Willis? If you don't own Die Hard on VHS, DVD, Blue Ray and bootleg, then please don't talk to me.
7. The Royal Family: Yes or No? Great TV program.
8. Who would win a fight between a seahorse and a mollusc? Seahorse. The male carries the baby - tough bastards.
9. When you were at junior school, did you have school dinners or packed lunches? School dinners.
10. Describe yourself in three words? My mum says I'm handsome. My maths teacher said I was useless. My missus calls me every name under the sun.
11. Should these vital questionnaires continue? 100%

 

Beautiful answers, SuperC.

 

1. Pickled egg, pickled onion or wally? Pickled onion
2. When did you last enter a Poundland store? And what did you buy? I don't think I've ever been in one.
3. Should same-sex otters be allowed to enter into a civil partnership? Absolutely
4. Which London Underground station is closest to your home? I haven't lived in London for years
5. Would you join me, Donny Osmond and Scott Minto for a game of Monopoly? Swap Marie for Donny, then it's a possibility
6. Do you own any films starring Bruce Willis? Die Hard 1 & 2 always get a screening at Xmas
7. The Royal Family: Yes or No? A resounding no
8. Who would win a fight between a seahorse and a mollusc? Seahorse
9. When you were at junior school, did you have school dinners or packed lunches? Packed lunch.
10. Describe yourself in three words? Well endowed hunk.
11. Should these vital questionnaires continue? Yes