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Off Topic The last poster wins thread NSFW

Discussion in 'Sunderland' started by Steven Royston O'Neill, May 2, 2012.

  1. its been fun thanks :)

    its been fun thanks :) ♬♬Badum-tish! ♬♬
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  2. Commachio

    Commachio Rambo 2021

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    4 Lady friends meet 30 years after school at reunion.
    One goes to take food while the other 3 start to talk about how successful their sons became.
    No. 1 says her son studied economics, became a banker and is so rich, he gave his best friend a Ferrari.
    No. 2 said her son became a pilot, started his own airline became so rich, he gave his best friend a Jet.
    No. 3 said her son became an engineer, started his own development company became so rich, he build his best friend a Castle.
    No 4. came back with a plate full of food and asked what the buzz is about.
    They told her they were talking about how successful their sons became and asked her about her son.
    She said her son is gay and he works in a Gay Bar.
    The other 3 said she must be very disappointed with her son for not becoming successful.
    “Oh no !” said the Lady, “he is doing very well”.
    “Last week on his birthday he got a Ferrari, a Jet and a Castle from 3 of his boyfriends !”
    All the 3
    Ladies fainted .....
     
    #4182
  3. its been fun thanks :)

    its been fun thanks :) ♬♬Badum-tish! ♬♬
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  4. Commachio

    Commachio Rambo 2021

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    why did he punch her?

    maybe he felt a semi on, and realised it wasn't his.
     
    #4184
  5. its been fun thanks :)

    its been fun thanks :) ♬♬Badum-tish! ♬♬
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    please log in to view this image
     
    #4185
    salad fingers likes this.
  6. Commachio

    Commachio Rambo 2021

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    But did he ever **** a scarecrow?

    A true story...****ing weird.


    A man was found dead in his home after having sex with a scarecrow that he had dressed up in a wig, lipstick and strap-on sex toy.

    The rotting remains of Jose Alberto were discovered in his home after neighbours reported a foul smell coming from the building.

    Police forced their way into the home in San Jose de Balcare, eastern Argentina, and were stunned to discover the 58-year-old shepherd lying dead.

    Next to him lay a scarecrow that had been dressed up as a woman - but wearing astrap-on sex toy.

    Rodolfo Moure, a spokesman for the prosecutor, said: "I initially thought there were two bodies but then I realised one was a scarecrow wearing lipstick and a long-haired wig.

    "It was lying next to the deceased and had a six-inch strap-on penis.

    http://www.dailyrecord.co.uk/news/weird-news/man-died-after-having-sex-5451965
     
    #4186
  7. its been fun thanks :)

    its been fun thanks :) ♬♬Badum-tish! ♬♬
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    please log in to view this image


    please log in to view this image
     
    #4187
  8. Commachio

    Commachio Rambo 2021

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    <laugh>.
     
    #4188
  9. MrRAWhite

    MrRAWhite Well-Known Member

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    #4189
  10. MrRAWhite

    MrRAWhite Well-Known Member

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    Captain Cock
     
    #4190

  11. Commachio

    Commachio Rambo 2021

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    The parents of one of the three schoolgirls from the UK who have gone to
    Syria have made an impassioned plea for their return.

    The mother said:


    "Girls, my darlings, please come home immediately.
    We're losing sixty quid a week in Child Benefit and Uncle Aziz
    hasn't had a shag for a ages."
     
    #4191
    Billy Death likes this.
  12. its been fun thanks :)

    its been fun thanks :) ♬♬Badum-tish! ♬♬
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    ooh er missus ...
     
    #4192
    Dispicable_Tel likes this.
  13. Commachio

    Commachio Rambo 2021

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    please log in to view this image
     
    #4193
  14. its been fun thanks :)

    its been fun thanks :) ♬♬Badum-tish! ♬♬
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    #4194
    salad fingers likes this.
  15. Commachio

    Commachio Rambo 2021

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    #4195
  16. Commachio

    Commachio Rambo 2021

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    #4196
  17. MrRAWhite

    MrRAWhite Well-Known Member

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    JS17521204.jpg JS17521204.jpg JS17521204.jpg JS17521204.jpg JS17521204.jpg JS17521204.jpg Newcastle is shown to be the most vermin infested city in the UK....They also have a large number of long tailed furry rodents..
     

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    #4197
    Last edited: Apr 27, 2015
  18. its been fun thanks :)

    its been fun thanks :) ♬♬Badum-tish! ♬♬
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    #4198
  19. its been fun thanks :)

    its been fun thanks :) ♬♬Badum-tish! ♬♬
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    please log in to view this image


     
    #4199
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  20. Commachio

    Commachio Rambo 2021

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    5-Minute Management Course
    Lesson 1:
    A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is finishing up her shower, when the doorbell rings.
    The wife quickly wraps herself in a towel and runs downstairs.
    When she opens the door, there stands Bob, the next-door neighbor.
    Before she says a word, Bob says, 'I'll give you $800 to drop that towel..'
    After thinking for a moment, the woman drops her towel and stands naked in front of Bob, after a few seconds, Bob hands her $800 and leaves.
    The woman wraps back up in the towel and
    goes back upstairs.
    When she gets to the bathroom, her husband asks, 'Who was that?'
    'It was Bob the next door neighbor,' she replies. 'Great,' the husband says, 'did he say anything about the $800 he owes me?'

    Moral of the story:
    If you share critical information pertaining to credit and risk with your shareholders in time, you may be in a position to prevent avoidable exposure.

    Lesson 2:
    A priest offered a Nun a lift.
    She got in and crossed her legs, forcing her gown to reveal a leg.
    The priest nearly had an accident.
    After controlling the car, he stealthily slid his hand up her leg..
    The nun said, 'Father, remember Psalm 129?'
    The priest removed his hand But, changing gears, he let his hand slide up her leg again.The nun once again said, 'Father, remember Psalm 129?'
    The priest apologized 'Sorry sister but the flesh is weak.'
    Arriving at the convent, the nun sighed heavily and went on her way.
    On his arrival at the church, the priest rushed to look up Psalm 129. It said, 'Go forth and seek, further up, you will find glory.'

    Moral of the story:
    If you are not well informed in your job, you might miss a great opportunity.

    Lesson 3:
    A sales rep, an administration clerk, and the manager are walking to lunch when they find an antique oil lamp.They rub it and a Genie comes out.
    The Genie says, 'I'll give each of you just one wish.''Me first! Me first!' says the admin clerk. 'I want to be in the Bahamas , driving a speedboat, without a care in the world.' Puff! She's gone.
    'Me next! Me next!' says the sales rep. 'I want to be in Hawaii , relaxing on the beach with my personal masseuse, an endless supply of Pina Coladas and the love of my life.'
    Puff! He's gone.
    'OK, you're up,' the Genie says to the manager. The manager says, 'I want those two back in the office after lunch.'

    Moral of the story:
    Always let your boss have the first say.

    Lesson 4:
    An eagle was sitting on a tree resting, doing nothing.
    A small rabbit saw the eagle and asked him, 'Can I also sit like you and do nothing?' The eagle answered: 'Sure, why not.'
    So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the eagle and rested. All of a sudden, a fox appeared, jumped on the rabbit and ate it.

    Moral of the story:
    To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting very, very high up.

    Lesson 5:A turkey was chatting with a bull.
    'I would love to be able to get to the top of that tree' sighed the turkey, 'but I haven't got the energy.''Well, why don't you nibble on some of my droppings?' replied the bull. They're packed with nutrients.'
    The turkey pecked at a lump of dung, and found it actually gave him enough strength to reach the lowest branch of the tree.
    The next day, after eating some more dung, he reached the second branch.
    Finally after a fourth night, the turkey was proudly perched at the top of the tree.
    He was promptly spotted by a farmer, who shot him out of the tree.

    Moral of the story:
    Bull **** might get you to the top, but it won't keep you there..

    Lesson 6:
    A little bird was flying south for the winter. It was so cold the bird froze and fell to the ground into a large field.
    While he was lying there, a cow came by and dropped some dung on him.
    As the frozen bird lay there in the pile of cow dung, he began to realize how warm he was.
    The dung was actually thawing him out!
    He lay there all warm and happy, and soon began to sing for joy. A passing cat heard the bird singing and came to investigate..
    Following the sound, the cat discovered the bird under the pile of cow dung, and promptly dug him out and ate him.

    Morals of the story:

    (1) Not everyone who ****s on you is your enemy.
    (2) Not everyone who gets you out of **** is your friend..
    (3) And when you're in deep ****, it's best to keep your mouth shut!
     
    #4200

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