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The Outing Of Barrie Lochrie

Discussion in 'General Chat' started by Patience, Aug 22, 2017.

  1. Ciaran

    Ciaran 2016 POTY

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    2 weeks the day <grr>
     
    #61
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  2. Tina.

    Tina. Well-Known Member

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    Longest 7 weeks of my life. Lost now without the wee bugger <laugh>
     
    #62
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  3. Gambol

    Gambol George Clooney's wee brother

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    Who's Mitch? :huh:
     
    #63
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  4. Ciaran

    Ciaran 2016 POTY

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    Devs bro
     
    #64
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  5. Gambol

    Gambol George Clooney's wee brother

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    I see.
     
    #65
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  6. DevAdvocate

    DevAdvocate Gigging bassist

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    Do you really? <laugh>
     
    #66
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  7. Gambol

    Gambol George Clooney's wee brother

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    No. No really at all. <laugh>
     
    #67
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  8. Mind The Duck

    Mind The Duck Well-Known Member

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    Aldo McTrotsky was thinking about Nicola Sturgeon again. Nicola was a nippy wee bint with a boys haircut and stinking attitude.

    Aldo walked over to the window and reflected on his Rapists Paradise surroundings. He had always loved the Govan midden with its different, deadly Drunken Huns. It was a place that encouraged his tendency to feel unstable.

    Then he saw something in the distance, or rather someone. It was the a scrawny figure of Nicola Sturgeon.

    Aldo gulped. He glanced at his own reflection. He was a rude, violent, Methelated Spirit drinker with fat ears and ugly teeth. His friends saw him as a big, boring bawbag. Once, he had even saved a knobbly Toby that was stuck in a drain.

    But not even a rude person who had once saved a knobbly Toby that was stuck in a drain, was prepared for what Nicola had in store today.

    The rain hammered like rampaging dogs, making Aldo feel ****y. Aldo grabbed a cheap YES badge that had been strewn nearby; he massaged it with his fingers.

    As Aldo stepped outside and Nicola came closer, he could see the ripe glint in her eye.

    Nicola gazed with the affection of 3283 delusional helpful huns. She said, in hushed tones, "I love you and I want Independence."

    Aldo looked back, even more ****y and still fingering the cheap YES badge. "Nicola, freedum," he replied.

    They looked at each other with angry feelings, like two courageous, curious cats masterbating at a very thuggish Independence Referendum, which had Proclaimers music playing in the background and two poofy uncles sexually assualting each other to the beat.

    Suddenly, Nicola lunged forward and tried to punch Aldo in the face. Quickly, Aldo grabbed the cheap EU Referendum polling card and brought it down on Nicola's skull.

    Nicola's puney fist trembled and her eye wobbled. Aldo thought she looked sexually frustrated, her emotions raw like Aldos trenchfoot

    Then she let out an agonising groan and collapsed onto the ground. Moments later Nicola Sturgeon was dead.

    Aldo McTrotsky went back inside and made himself a nice drink of Methelated Spirits.

    THE END
     
    #68
  9. A.L.D.O 4.1

    A.L.D.O 4.1 1 of the top defendants in Europe

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    Janet and Aldo ^^^^
     
    #69
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  10. DUNCAN DONUTS

    DUNCAN DONUTS SOCIAL JUSTICE WARRIOR

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    The huge pointed tent erected in Finsbury Park was like a flickering candle to a filthy moth.
    Archie was still wearing his work shorts and sky blue Royal Mail shirt as he staggered towards the circus , the smell of elephant **** popcorn and teenage girls filled his nostrils as he walked towards the fracas.
    After knocking off at 6am from his round he went straight to the off-licence and spent everything he had in his pockets on exotic Imported Australian lager .

    He was carrying a bag of cold chips that he found on the pavement cramming the gritty contents into his mouth as he shuffled closer.

    "Do you fackin know whooo I , hic, fackin you fackiiin , belch, fackiin who I Fackin am ?"

    He shouted .

    Parents gasped at the morbidly obese drunk postman in horror as Archie still holding his second hand chips ,unzipped his little shorts exposing his acorn sized penis.

    The foul-mouthed wreck took three more paces before tripping over a rope holding up the temporary structure.

    He attempted to pull himself up briefly before voiding his bowells .
     
    #70
    Last edited: Aug 22, 2017

  11. DevAdvocate

    DevAdvocate Gigging bassist

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    As Jiffy casually trundled his sport wheelchair along the Jumiera beach main drag, he spied a young attractive female leaving one of the many fleshpots. Clearly worse for wear due to the large amounts of alcohol she had consumed, she was giving off all manner of distress signals to potential predators.

    Jiffy's neck straightened up like a meercat on speed, his rape alarm went off in his subconcious and he homed in like a wheeeled exocet missile.

    "Can I offer you a lift?" he leered.

    "Umm no shure" replied the young lady from her resting place on the pavement.

    Sensing hesitation and confusion on the part of the lass, Jiffy, using his full mongo strength, scooped her into his lap and onto his quivering throbber. "Ah hope that's yer calipers" whined the boozed up floozy. "Not to worry darling, i've got something that'll straighten you out" as he quickly dropped some rufies into her can of Stella. A night of unconscious debauchery was once again on the cards as far as the Lanarkshire Lothario was concerned.

    He quickly wheeled her back to the seedy alleyways of the Souk district where resides, to his "Torture Dungeon" (not really a torture dungeon, it's more of an old cargo container with wheelchair access), stripped her naked and commited various unspeakable acts upon the senseless wench.

    In the morning, Jiffy once again wracked with guilt at his heinous habit sold her to some Bangladeshi white slavers in exchange for a retread on his wheels.
     
    #71
  12. DUNCAN DONUTS

    DUNCAN DONUTS SOCIAL JUSTICE WARRIOR

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    Drinking a can of Stellar in public would be a bigger crime in Dubai.
     
    #72
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  13. brb

    brb CR250

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    Tina and Jiffy were tongue fighting over the sweet centre of a Jammie Dodger that Kev had given them earlier from the biscuit factory, one he had pre licked. Aldo got so excited over watching the fetish pair he blew his pope over both their faces. Tina still carrying the bruises from her bitch slapping that Aldo had dished out earlier, licked up the dribbling remainder of the cum off Jiffy's face, slurping up every little congealed morsel.

    Suddenly there was a knock at the door, Aldo quickly rearranged his pissed stained kilt and went and answered. It was Pud!....'where the **** have you been' shouts the timposter. He enters the house and explains he got hooded and kidnapped by a passing transit. '****ing Kev' bitter Jiffy shouts, Pud replies shut up you raving spastic arab, it was some guy in an ex squaddie outfit, the vehicle was being driven by a dodgy looking time share salesman, side door slides open and out jumps this guy in Khaki, looked like he had just come from the desert, i'm sure I heard the driver call him by the name 'Dev'.

    Aldo asks so why the **** did they kidnap you?...think Dev got his timing wrong and jumped from the van too soon, there was what looked like a couple of 14 year old girls walking a head of me, guess Dev pulled the door back too soon and made the grab. Problem is it was dark in the back, I was bouncing around like a Christmas pudding, knocked Dev spark out, splattered him in fact. Mono the driver **** himself, so parked up and did a runner and i've been stuck in the back of that van ever since.

    'Well how did you get out' asks Aldo, ah some guy out dogging, took a peer into the back of the van abandoned off on the lay by, witty sort of chap who had a good laugh when I told him what had happened, had a digit missing on one hand.
     
    #73
  14. A.L.D.O 4.1

    A.L.D.O 4.1 1 of the top defendants in Europe

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    It's dark in the city and it's quiet, too quiet.

    Deep in the shadows a figure lurks. A desperate figure. A figure who waits for salvation.

    Salvation finally appears in the distance. Like a chariot of the gods from the slopes of Olympus. The twin beams of it's headlights confuse him at first. His mind struggles to identify this illumination despite the fact he has witnessed.it on countless occasions.

    "Oh my" he exclaims "it's the special bus"

    He steps out of the shadows into the mid winter rain. The cold has started to.penetrate his very being. The only thing between him and frostbite on his extremities is the green and white hooped mittens his Nan knitted for him a few years ago, before she went up to the angels. He knows he is special because his Mummy always says so. He lifts a mittened hand and miraculously the big bus stops.

    The doors woosh open and Trevor the driver is revealed. His smile fills him with joy. That gap tooth grin washes away any worries he may have and he steps onto the chariot to take up the same seat he occupies every day, next to his best friend Mick.

    And so begins another day in life of Mindy.
     
    #74
  15. Toley Fart

    Toley Fart not606's best fighter

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    Did the bus driver have any more involvement in mindy's day? Asking for a mate.
     
    #75
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  16. Mind The Duck

    Mind The Duck Well-Known Member

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    He spent the rest of the day cleaning jobby from his nike air max
     
    #76
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  17. The Cunnilungus Connoisseur

    The Cunnilungus Connoisseur Official POTY 2011, 2014, 2015, 2018 & 2023

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    Born into wealthy Jewish family and residing in a leafy Glasgow suburb, Trevor had a privileged upbringing and wanted for nothing, though it is also true to say that Trevor was a spoilt kid from an early age and his tantrums were notorious throughout the Lenzie Jewry after he demanded that his mum knit him a foreskin after getting teased from other boys at primary school over his jewkake.

    Trevor was big from an early age and was nicknamed “pancake nipples” for his moobed appearance. Trevor’s issue was his gargantuan diet which resulted in him having to be home schooled by 'mummy' as he was bed-bound at 14 as the scales topped 36st. Trevor wasn’t complaining though as it meant he could continue the spoilt brat routine and milk rape mummy until he was 16. Yes, Trevor never stopped getting breast fed and as he got older, this took a rather sinister turn as one day he had a meltdown and demanded that his mum play with his pecker whilst he sucked her boob, needless to say that she obliged.

    Trevor’s dad, a successful self-made civil engineer, was ashamed of his eldest son. Trev’s younger brother was handsome and dashing and had excelled at school whereas Trevor had disappointed from an early age, so much so that he left the education system with only one Grade worthy of note, a C in admin, purely based on his ability to use Microsoft paint.

    Trevor’s dad decided that he had to get his son’s life back on track and arranged for his son to go to a bootcamp in the Australian outback whereby his dad had ordered the bootcamp leaders to cut his son down to size. Trevor’s dad used his contacts and managed to charter an Airbus A380 to ferry the cargo downunder. Trev stayed in Australia for 6 months and managed to get his weight down to a semi-respectable 19st. This dramatic weight loss impressed Trev’s dad who invited him back to the UK to be a CAD monkey at his construction firm based in Glasgow City Centre, which Trev bit off with both hands. His dad was apprehensive as he wasn’t sure that his son could steer clear of the staple Glasgow diet of kebabs, Chinese and munchboxes, though he sanctioned the relocation nevertheless.

    Trev returned to Scotland as half the man he used to be and that weight loss had left him as a bit of a bumhole bulimic and was troubled with irritable bowel syndrome. Trevor moved back home and started working with dad but old habits returned and he was wanting breast fed again as soon as he saw his mum’s tits again. Trev’s mum could only oblige as she enjoyed the male attention and she didn’t like to see Trev upset so she scooped out her left tit and fed Trevor some of the sweet milk that he had longed for. Trev, pulled out his cock which was now hidden by a former belly fold due to the weight loss but Trev’s mum managed to find his unsheathed cock and ****ed away like she was accustomed to.

    This continued for a few months and sure enough, the weight began to return. Trev’s dad challenged Trev as to where the excess calories were coming from but Trev was adamant that he was only eating as per the set meal plan that his dad had devised.

    Trev’s dad installed some hidden cameras around the house and was aghast, and slightly aroused, to see what was happening when he was out between Trev and his mum.

    Trev and his dad had a massive argument which ended in Trev being thrown out the house. Luckily Trev’s dad owned some squats in Govanhill which he let to Slovakian Roma’s. Trev moved in, depressed and fat, he missed bitty and the ****s that accompanied it. Walking along Allison street one day, he went in for a belly buster box, and saw the most beautiful specimen he’d ever clapped eyes on. Who was this girl?

    Trev looked at her body and thought he was looking in the mirror as their body shapes were almost totally alike. Her hair was scraped back into a high pony, her pink Adidas tracksuit stretched over the skin on her arms and couldn’t be zipped up at the front, she was wearing a white crop top which her belly bulged out of, they eyes gazed at each other as if they'd met in a previous life... the guy in the shop shouted 'doner and chips' she turned around to reveal a ‘tram stamp’ tatoo which revealed her name…. Senga, Trev was in love... :emoticon-0152-heart
     
    #77
  18. monacoger

    monacoger POTY 2021

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    <laugh> got his mum to "knit him a foreskin"
     
    #78
  19. Patience

    Patience Spastic Arab

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    :cheesy:

    GC Creative Writing is going well.
     
    #79
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  20. Toley Fart

    Toley Fart not606's best fighter

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    She got carried away

    IMG_5543.JPG
     
    #80

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