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Who is the most useless at their NUFC Job?

Discussion in 'Newcastle United' started by Albert's Chip Shop, Feb 23, 2020.

?

Who is the worst at doing their job?

  1. Charnley (MD)

    16.7%
  2. Ashley (Owner)

    50.0%
  3. Nickson (Chief Scout)

    12.5%
  4. Bruce (Manager)

    12.5%
  5. Joelinton (Footballer)

    8.3%
  1. Albert's Chip Shop

    Albert's Chip Shop Top Grafter
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    Who is the biggest clown at fulfilling their jobs at NUFC?
     
    #1
  2. Albert's Chip Shop

    Albert's Chip Shop Top Grafter
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    I know it’s like picking out the smelliest turd in a sewer but I’m beelin’ today so feel this an appropriate outlet.
     
    #2
  3. Roland Deschain

    Roland Deschain Well-Known Member

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    Christ on a bike, what a list. Absolutely disgusting that these individuals are what we have at our once-great club.

    Ashley - the cause of every problem we've ever had, from purple players, to having a skeleton crew/board of one running a massive football club, this morons stupidity is off the scale.
    Charnley - awful at everything, and landed with every major task at the club. A club secretary by trade, is now the lowest paid MD in the PL, possibly in the top two divisions. Cheap as chips and absolutely pisspoor at every aspect of his job, from hiring, to contracts and transfers.
    Nickson - history of being a youth development/scout individual, for no particular reason (other than being cheap) effectively got the top recruitment job at the club. I'd hate it if he was chief scout, but he's far more than that because he - with Charnley - are in charge of player incomings, which is a nonsense relegation strategy we've employed twice before.
    Bruce - hapless, hopeless, clueless. Talks about Joelinton not being a goalscorer, leaves him on the pitch v Palace. Played the same eleven that got spanked off Arsenal, with no explanation why. Will take us down, poor mans McLaren. Far too many reasons why he's useless, but symptom - not cause.
    Joelinton - allegedly Nickson did a lot of homework and it was felt the guy was better coming on to play from deeper positions, to support a CF. That we threw £40m at him, stuck him in the no. 9 is a baffling decision and smacks of Ashley's involvement. Doesn't look like a footballer to me, confidence is shot to pieces, and that he started at CF against Palace even after Bruce's comments tells you everything you need to know. He was shunted wide as Bruce then effectively followed the advice of Jermain Jenas - again, tells you everything you need to know about Bruce (he reads Twitter extensively). Bad buys happen, so Joelinton's not to blame.
     
    #3
    englanddan likes this.
  4. Darren Peacock’s Ponytail

    Darren Peacock’s Ponytail Well-Known Member

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  5. JokeInEre

    JokeInEre Well-Known Member

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    There is a reason Charnley operates the way he does with transfers and contracts etc. There is a reason Steve Bruce is our manager and Big Sam (the first choice by the way) turned us down. There is s reason we spent 40million on Joe and he has scored 3 goals all season. (2 of those were against league one opposition.) The reason my friends is Mr Michael Ashley.
     
    #5
  6. Charlie Dogscock

    Charlie Dogscock Well-Known Member

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    Well unfortunately Ashley's good at his job, he uses us to make money for Sports Direct and doesn't give a **** about the club and it works.

    Bruce is Bruce, an average championship manager, I expected him to be crap and he's done slightly better than I thought he would.

    Charney is Ashley's stodge, and isn't involved with the team.

    Nickson yes, he received a budget and blew the majority on Joelinton when we could have got Rondon for less than half the price (although he was probably banned from buying Rondon by Ashley).

    Joelinton.... Well he just ain't that great, we can't expect him to our saviour in the same way you can't expect your pet dog to pass a nuclear physics exam, not his fault we paid a fortune for him.
     
    #6
  7. RobEllious

    RobEllious Well-Known Member

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    It's definitely Mike Ashley but we aren't going to see the back of him until he decides he's had enough. Same goes for Charnley and Nickson, under qualified stooge and scout respectively, who will not go until MA does now.

    Joelinton's poor at his job but only in the sense he is being continually played out of position and now receiving pelters from Bruce in pressers. Not conducive to giving a player confidence really.

    Brucie is out of his depth, signing up to manage a team where he'll have to Google the majority of players we buy. The fault is his own because he took the job knowing full well he can't buy Elmohammady or a modern Heskey.

    Ultimately MA is the worst but the only two fans have even a remote chance of affecting is Bruce/Joelinton. Out of the two I'd pick Bruce because another manager would have got a little more out of Joelinton by now rather than continually sticking him up top absolutely isolated.

    Wish we had taken our chances with another manager like Arteta. Fairly sure we wouldn't have been bottom of all attacking statistics with our keeper simultaneously having made the most saves in the league.
     
    #7
  8. Delusional Full Stop

    Delusional Full Stop Here to serve all your counselling needs.
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    It all depends upon the job description.

    Ashley. Owner. He owns. Good as per job description.

    Penfold. Managing Director/CEO. He doesn’t manage. He doesn’t direct. Bad as per job description.

    Nickson. Head Scout. Hasn’t scouted any heads. Bad as per job description.

    Brucie. Head Coach. Team always arrive at games on time. Good as per job description.

    Joey. Striker. Looks as though he’s on strike. Good as per job description.
     
    #8
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  9. Dr Van Helsing

    Dr Van Helsing Well-Known Member

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    Bruce
     
    #9
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  10. G4rdToonArmy

    G4rdToonArmy Well-Known Member

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    If Ashley wasn't here none of the others would be an issue...
     
    #10

  11. Darren Peacock’s Ponytail

    Darren Peacock’s Ponytail Well-Known Member

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    So Bruce would become a World class manager?
     
    #11
  12. Charlie Dogscock

    Charlie Dogscock Well-Known Member

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    Were you expecting him to be any better just out of interest?
     
    #12
  13. Darren Peacock’s Ponytail

    Darren Peacock’s Ponytail Well-Known Member

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    The question wasnt about expectations.

    It's about usefulness
     
    #13
  14. Charlie Dogscock

    Charlie Dogscock Well-Known Member

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    The question was who's the most useless at their job.

    We brought in a below average manager, and he's doing average. I don't see how that makes him useless.
     
    #14
  15. Warmir Pouchov

    Warmir Pouchov Better than JPF

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    Go back to source, Ashley
     
    #15
  16. Roland Deschain

    Roland Deschain Well-Known Member

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    Depends on who's describing the job. To a fan, the job of the owner is to make the club ambitious, competitive, creating a great environment for players to thrive in. Ashley couldn't fail any harder at that, because it's down to him that we have the worst MD, manager and scout in the PL. The same applies to the lesser roles - to the fan, the role of an MD is to build a dynamic and ambitious structure, the manager is supposed to put creative football together, the scout is supposed to find the best talent and, for a club like ours, occasionally make a healthy profit.

    But then we have Ashley's description of his own job, and the jobs of those below him - his job is to keep the club in the PL at the minimum possible outlay, without having to spend a single penny of his own money in the process. 10/10.

    Charnley's job is to do the filing, accounts, allocate the funding, balance the books and therefore also just keep the club in the PL with his leadership and appointments. 9/10.

    Bruce's job is 1 thing - keep the club up. 8/10 so far, couple of wins from 10/10 and possibly a new contract.

    Nickson's the only one failing. £80m spent on players now worth less than £40m, and that's being generous. But then he made a £32m profit on Perez, so we'll give him time. 5/10.

    That's the sad reality.
     
    #16
  17. G4rdToonArmy

    G4rdToonArmy Well-Known Member

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    Bruce wouldn't be here, neither would Charnley, Nickson or probably Joelinton
     
    #17
  18. Dr Van Helsing

    Dr Van Helsing Well-Known Member

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    Ashley is very good at his job... he is happy with how his club is run financially.
     
    #18
  19. Darren Peacock’s Ponytail

    Darren Peacock’s Ponytail Well-Known Member

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    Can we add head of business development? Where did she come from? What does she do?
     
    #19
  20. RobEllious

    RobEllious Well-Known Member

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    From what I've gathered she ensures the club develops as little as possible
     
    #20

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