That reminds me of the time I was turned away from a kids party of our neighbour despite taking jelly ... ... fair enough it was KY but even so
I'm that bored with this lockdown that I phoned someone in India asking them if they'd had an accident in the last 3 years
Had the police at my door earlier. They said my dogs were chasing people on bikes. I said don’t be daft, my dogs don’t know how to ride bikes. Answered the door earlier. A six foot tall earwig was there. It punched me in the guts and called me a ****er. I called the cops. They said there’s a nasty bug going around. Two goldfish in a tank. One says to the other “here, do you know how to drive this?” Two snowmen in a field. One says to the other “can you smell carrots?” Had my house broken into yesterday. The bastards took all my lamps. I was delighted. My work colleague told me the definition of multitudinous yesterday. It meant a lot. I’m sorry to say that I told my cross-eyed wife that I wanted a divorce. Turned out she was seeing someone on the side. With all this isolation going on I’ve decided to learn sign language. I reckon that it’ll be handy. I’m getting fed up with my wife telling me how bad an electrician I am. She’s going to get a shock when she turns the lights on.
Business couldn't be any better than during this coronavirus outbreak. . I'm a debt collector and every f*ckers in.
Some reckon the Chinese created Covid!9. That's wrong, women made it... They've finally found a way to get the football cancelled, pubs closed and menfolk back in the house getting all those jobs done
Ws Yes, by around 11am most days. I've had to start inventing new names for them ... ... 'lakes' is the meal just after lunch but before mid afternoon cakes
I’m struggling with my healthy eating Although not going to pubs I seem to be drinking more Coffee tea and we still try to eat well very difficult Still walk 3 + miles a day it the amount of food has risen Still I’m maintaining my weight with a great deal of effort