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The barnsley joke page

Discussion in 'Barnsley' started by kiwiqpr, Mar 25, 2014.

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  1. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    News just in......

    A Taliban spokesman announced to the BBC today, they are now in control of Bradford, Oldham, Luton and Rochdale and expect to have full control of London by the weekend. ...
     
    #10901
    Wooperts_duck, Aug 18, 2021
    San Diego and Taffvalerowdy like this.
  2. Taffvalerowdy

    Taffvalerowdy Well-Known Member

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    upload_2021-8-18_22-55-43.jpeg
     
    #10902
    Taffvalerowdy, Aug 18, 2021
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  3. Makemstine Roger

    Makemstine Roger Well-Known Member

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    VOTED BEST JOKE IN IRELAND

    John O'Reilly hoisted his beer and said, "Here's to spending the rest of me Life, between the legs of me wife!"

    That won him the top prize at the pub for the best toast of the night!

    He went home and told his wife, Mary, "I won the prize for the Best toast of the night."

    She said, "Aye, did ye now. And what was your toast?"

    John said, "Here's to spending the rest of me life, sitting in church beside me wife."

    "Oh, that is very nice indeed, John!” Mary said.

    The next day, Mary ran into one of John's drinking buddies on the street Corner. The man chuckled leeringly and said, "John won the prize the other night at the pub with a toast about you, Mary."

    She said, "Aye, he told me, and I was a bit surprised myself. You know, he's only been in there twice in the last four years. Once I had to pull him by the ears to make him come, and the other time he fell asleep".
     
    #10903
    Makemstine Roger, Aug 19, 2021
    San Diego, Taffvalerowdy and Wooperts_duck like this.
  4. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    One Monday morning a postman is walking the neighborhood on his usual route. As he approaches one of the homes he noticed that both cars were in the driveway. His wonder was cut short by Bob, the homeowner, coming out the front door, stepping around empty beer and liquor bottles.
    “Wow, Bob, looks like you guys had one hell of a party last night!” the postman says.
    Bob, in obvious pain, replies — “Actually we had it Saturday night. This is the first I have felt like moving since 4 am Sunday morning.”
    “We had about 15 couples from around the neighborhood over for some weekend fun and it got a bit wild. Hell, we got so drunk around midnight that we started playing Who Am I?”
    “Is that a game?” the postman asks, all curious. “How do you play that?”
    Bob replies — “Well, all the guys go in the bedroom and we come out one at a time with a sheet covering us and only our ‘privates’ showing through a hole in the sheet.”
    “Then the women try to guess who it is.”
    The postman laughs and says — “Damn, I’m sorry I missed all that fun.”
    “Well, that’s why I came out to talk to you,” Bob says. “You better lie low for a few days, since your name came up seven times and many of the guys are looking for you.”
     
    #10904
    Wooperts_duck, Aug 19, 2021
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  5. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    please log in to view this image
     
    #10905
    Wooperts_duck, Aug 19, 2021
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  6. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #10906
    Wooperts_duck, Aug 19, 2021
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  7. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #10907
    Wooperts_duck, Aug 19, 2021
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  8. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #10908
    Wooperts_duck, Aug 19, 2021
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  9. Gordon Armstrong

    Gordon Armstrong Just another S.A.F.C. fan
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    C3697037-2330-43E7-8F63-519535E9A27E.jpeg.jpg
     
    #10909
    Gordon Armstrong, Aug 20, 2021
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  10. Makemstine Roger

    Makemstine Roger Well-Known Member

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    Husband: What do you want for your birthday, dear?
    Wife: I'd better not say.....
    Husband: C'mon, what do you want? A diamond ring?
    Wife: You know I don't care for diamond
    Husband: How about a mink coat?
    Wife: I already have one.
    Husband: Fine then, what do you want?
    Wife: What I really want is a divorce.
    Husband: Oh! I wasn't planning on spending that much.
     
    #10910
    Makemstine Roger, Aug 20, 2021
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  11. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #10911
    Wooperts_duck, Aug 20, 2021
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  12. Gordon Armstrong

    Gordon Armstrong Just another S.A.F.C. fan
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    rocksand.jpg
     
    #10912
    Gordon Armstrong, Aug 21, 2021
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  13. Gordon Armstrong

    Gordon Armstrong Just another S.A.F.C. fan
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    origami.jpg
     
    #10913
    Gordon Armstrong, Aug 21, 2021
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  14. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #10914
    Wooperts_duck, Aug 21, 2021
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  15. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #10915
    Wooperts_duck, Aug 21, 2021
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  16. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #10916
    Wooperts_duck, Aug 21, 2021
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  17. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #10917
    Wooperts_duck, Aug 21, 2021
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  18. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #10918
    Wooperts_duck, Aug 22, 2021
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  19. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #10919
    Wooperts_duck, Aug 22, 2021
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  20. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    'A tough gang on motor bikes encountered a young girl looking like she was going to suicide by jumping off a bridge into the river.
    The head tough guy said,
    'Before you jump, can I get a big lingering kiss?'
    The answer was yes and they kissed passionately.
    When finished, the tough guy said
    'Tell me, why are you committing suicide?'
    The answer was,
    'Cos my parents don't like me dressing in girls clothes'.
     
    #10920
    Wooperts_duck, Aug 23, 2021
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Page 546 of 834
: this kiwi dont eat worms, kiwi never sleeps, kiwi was here, LIKE KIWI, kiwis watching you lot, kiwi farts a lot

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