Some Fun For a Friday Afternoon

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Farty Gonzalez?

 

Theo world championship fart skating was just last month!! In Oslo!!

 

No mate Daddies sauce is illegal

 

If you believe the official viewpoint Norway doesnt have a drug problem!!!

 

Any problems Norway has with the Internet are clearly the result of inadequate broadband fart...

 

theo.

Remember that 1994 film with Keanu Reeves? All about a bus and these passengers. They farted along the streets of LA, and if they were to fart less than 50mph, they would explode!

I think we're back to your Guinness observation, theo ;-).

 

View attachment 2038 all. Today's offering:

A big Texan stopped at a local restaurant following a day roaming around Mexico.

While sipping his tequila, he noticed a sizzling, scrumptious looking platter being served at the next table. Not only did it look good, the smell was wonderful, so he asked the waiter, 'What is that you just served?'

The waiter replied, 'Ah senor, you have excellent taste! Those are called Cojones de Toro, bull's testicles from the bull fight this morning. A delicacy!'

The cowboy said, 'What the heck, bring me an order.'

The waiter replied, 'I am so sorry senor. There is only one serving per day because there is only one bull fight each morning. If you come early and place your order, we will be sure to save you this delicacy.'

The next morning, the cowboy returned, placed his order, and that evening was served the one and only special delicacy of the day. After a few bites, inspecting his platter, he called to the waiter and said, 'These are delicious, but they are much, much smaller than the ones I saw you serve yesterday.'

The waiter shrugged his shoulders and replied, 'Si, Senor. Sometimes the bull wins.

 

bb

 

NICKNAMES -- have you noticed that:

• If Laura, Kate and Sarah go out for lunch, they will call each other Laura, Kate and Sarah.

• If Mike, Dave and John go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, Bubba and Wildman .

 

Equally, Mike, Dave and John will refer to Laura, Kate and Sarah as 'Fat Boy', 'Bubba' and 'Wild, man!'

 

lol

 

lmao! Funny lot! Even fart jokes? i was always impressed by schoolboy humour

 

Hornette - specially for you from the Mysogenists handbook

EATING OUT
• When the bill arrives, Mike, Dave and John will each throw in $20, even though it's only for $32.50. None of them will have anything smaller and none will actually admit they want change back.
• When the girls get their bill, out come the pocket calculators.

MONEY
• A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.
• A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need but it's on sale

p.s do not think I am brave enough ever to let Lennietta anywhere near my PC

 

lol it's only coz i like you that i'm letting you off Leonardo

 

Where were you when I was at school ?

(My assertion that I didn't laugh at 'Vater' is losing a little credence, do you think ?)

 

At school in Wembley! (though that might not have been at the same time lol)

(most definitely, but i won't tell if you don't )

 

A rather confident 007 walks into a bar and takes a seat next to a very attractive woman. He gives her a quick glance, and then casually looks at his watch for a moment.

The woman notices this and asks "Is your date running late?"

"No", he replies, "Q's just given me this state-of-the-art watch and I was testing it."

The intrigued woman says, "A state-of-the-art watch? What's so special about it?"

"It uses alpha waves to telepathically talk to me," he explains.

"What's it telling you now?"

"Well, it says you're not wearing any knickers..."

The woman giggles and replies, "Well it must be broken because I am wearing knickers!"

007 tuts, taps his watch and says "Damn thing must be an hour fast."

 

If only the internet could convey an armpit fart...

 

I should point out my last comment was directed to Hornette, not the 007 joke .

 

Nice one, BB .

Here's a little Tim Vine humour...

So I went to Buckingham Palace to cut Prince William's hair.
I said to the policeman, “Can you let me in to the car park, I'm here to cut Prince William's hair?”
The policeman said “Have you got a permit?”
I said, “No, just take a bit off the back."