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Hack Watch

Discussion in 'Tottenham Hotspur' started by humanbeingincroydon, Sep 21, 2016.

  1. humanbeingincroydon

    humanbeingincroydon Well-Known Member

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    Considering some of the garbage that journalists and pundits have been writing and/or saying about us so far this season, I thought it would be a good idea to collect some of the worst examples of attempted journalism in one place

    I'll start the ball rolling with TalkBalls' latest contribution to the "Janssen is bollocks" narrative we've been hearing ever since he signed

    "They will still be getting to know him as a player but the man who was behind bringing him to the club was Ian Broomfield, who I speak to quite a lot,” said some hack. “He does a lot of the dealings at Tottenham. I asked him what he was like and he said he is not fantastic at anything, he is not the quickest, he is not the strongest, he is not the best in the air, but his all-round game is fitted to the way Tottenham play.”

    A quick reminder of his career stats
    2013-14: 36 games, 10 goals
    2014-15: 38 games, 22 goals
    2015-16: 49 games, 31 goals

    Looks pretty good at sticking the ball in the net, doesn't he?
     
    #1
  2. Dier Hard

    Dier Hard G'day mate!

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    So according to TalkShite, if you're not strong, fast or good in the air, you're ****? Hmm, we're ****ed then.

    Dembele's strong but not fast or an aerial threat.

    Eriksen, Lamela and Alli are pretty much none of those.

    Kane ain't fast... He ain't better than Toby or Dier in the air... He ain't as strong as Dier, Dembele or Wanyama either.

    Looks like we'll be needing a squad overhaul!
     
    #2
  3. "Thanks for that Brian"

    "Thanks for that Brian" Well-Known Member

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    Richard Keys (Grrrrr!) weighed in with a 'story' about our transfer business:

    "Spurs are still short - way short of where they were last season. Again, I'm hearing all is not well behind the scenes. I'm not convinced that Pochettino got what he wanted in the transfer window and he wasn't that impressed by what he did get. Watch this space!"

    Yes, Paul Mitchell has resigned. There will have been tensions and possibly about Batshuayi. However, the bloke wanted £125k per week and we don't and can't pay that and keep the rest of the players MP wants happy at WHL. The only clubs that get what they want in the TW are those that have a 'money no object' policy and we're not one of those 2 clubs (I don't think Chelsea qualify anymore despite chucking a lot of money around). Does anyone think that Perez and that German bloke were Arsenal's first picks? All the London clubs wanted Morata but couldn't make it happen because a bigger fish gobbled him up. Wenger's wanted Benzema for years but nobody lays into him when he buys some unheard of Spanish veteran.

    I'm pretty sure that DL isn't going to piss MP off by buying players without MP's approval. We've done that and it doesn't work. We got the best we could afford along with everyone else that doesn't have Manchester as part of their club name. Keys is just a prick.
     
    #3
    No Kane No Gain and RobSpur like this.
  4. Spurm

    Spurm Well-Known Member

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    Actually they do, but it's their own fans. Which is worse than some dick in the press.
     
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  5. remembercolinlee

    remembercolinlee Well-Known Member

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    Richard Keyes is desperate to get work after killing his career a few years ago so will spout any ****e that'll get him on the radio, TV or in the papers.
     
    #5
    PleaseNotPoll likes this.
  6. redwhiteandermblue

    redwhiteandermblue Well-Known Member

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    Tbf, there's no denying we had 6 points last year after five games, while this year we only have 11. And after only 7 1/2 hours of play our slipshod defending has leaked in the sad total of zero goals from open play.
     
    #6
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  7. Spurf

    Spurf Thread Mover
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    "watch this space"
    Is he referring to the space in his head? I think he might be a little pushed to come up with any real evidence to back up his wild claims.

    All of the facts fly in his face with a strong resemblance to egg.

    Better balanced squad
    More points than this time last season
    No goals conceded from open play
    Another season of experience behind both manager and team.

    Still, no doubt Keys know his employers who know their audience and they wouldn't want reality to get in the way of their excited ramblings and let's face it most football reporting from transfer rumours to match reports can be catergorised under the heading of 'Bollocks'

    Let's just throw away the Keys.
     
    #7
  8. SpursDisciple

    SpursDisciple Booking: Mod abuse - overturned on appeal
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    Had to give that a like if only for the final sentence <applause>
     
    #8
  9. Spurf

    Spurf Thread Mover
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    BBC says:

    • Spurs have gone unbeaten in their opening five league games of a season for the first time in 12 years. The 2004-05 season was the only time they have remained unbeaten after six matches in the Premier League.
    • A win on Saturday would represent the club's best start to a top-flight season for 51 years, matching their four wins and two draws after six matches in 1965-66.
    • They have the division's best defensive record so far this season, keeping three clean sheets and only conceding two goals.
    • Tottenham have fielded the youngest average starting XI in the division so far this season, aged 25 years and 208 days
    <badger>
     
    #9
  10. O.Spurcat

    O.Spurcat Well-Known Member

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    Not quite sure how this seasons 11 points from the first 5 games is better than Harry's 12 points from the first 4 games, but I'm sure you'll be able to tell me.
     
    #10
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  11. Spurf

    Spurf Thread Mover
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    Ask the BBC OS I am just the messanger <laugh>
     
    #11
  12. D.G.C.

    D.G.C. Well-Known Member

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    Seems to start slowly then speed up, that will do me.
     
    #12
  13. humanbeingincroydon

    humanbeingincroydon Well-Known Member

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    Ahead of our match against the Pep Guardiola Show, the media's talking about how it's inevitable that they'll break the record we set in 1960-1 of winning ten league games on the spin.

    There's two reasons that this won't happen:
    i.) We won our first eleven games in 1960-1, not ten
    ii.) City have played six games this season, not eleven - which means they're a long way short of even equalling our record

    That's the thing about facts, it's worth the time and effort to check them...
     
    #13
  14. Spurf

    Spurf Thread Mover
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    I don't believe you are a human being, croydon maybe! I think you are Google posing as a Spurs fan. :emoticon-0103-cool:
     
    #14
  15. humanbeingincroydon

    humanbeingincroydon Well-Known Member

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    I'm not Google. If I was, I'd have spent months pocketing Not606's ad revenue before telling them about it...
     
    #15
  16. Spurf

    Spurf Thread Mover
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    The test is how much tax you have paid. Any more than 75p and you are not google.
     
    #16
  17. humanbeingincroydon

    humanbeingincroydon Well-Known Member

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    Somebody might want to tell Soccer AM that..
    a.) It's called football, not soccer
    b.) Of all the things to take the piss out of clubs for, having their players sign long-term contract extensions is not one of them - so three guesses what they thought was good material to take the piss out of us for

    By the way, the following players are out of contract next summer...
    Michael Carrick
    Santi Cazorla
    Gael Clichy
    Fernandinho
    Timothy Fonsu-Mensah
    Zlatan Ibrahimovic
    Branislav Ivanovic
    Laurent Koscielny
    Lucas Leiva
    John Obi Mikel John Obi John
    Per Mertesacker
    Jesus Navas
    Bacary Sagna
    John Terry
    Yaya Toure
    Antonio Valencia
    Pablo Zabaleta
     
    #17
  18. MOTD2 panel discussing next weekends game stated that no Spurs player would get into the Citeh 1st team and their bench were also stronger.......
    Well, I am certainly not going to exaggerate our capabilities and Citeh have undoubted quality especially offensively, but just comparing the two back fours from yesterday's game, I wouldn't rush to change any of ours:
    Sagna v Walker - has to be Kyle on form over last 12 months
    Otamendi v Alderweirald - no brainer, has to be Toby, probably the most consistent CB in the PL
    Stones v Vertonghen - not the biggest fan of Verts and Stones is a top 'prospect', but I wouldn't be keen to break the partnership with Toby
    Kolarov v Davies - been a fan of Kolarov and he would probably get the nod over our reserve LB, but not by much - and he's now 30 and may be in decline at the top level for such a vital position.

    Hacks seem to associate quality exclusively with transfer fees. Experience suggests this is not always the case....
     
    #18
  19. Citizen Kane

    Citizen Kane Danny Rosebud

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    I was wondering this myself last night. I think the (grain of) logic behind it is the assumption that an unbeaten start trumps a beaten one. We lost the 5th game of that season IIRC.

    It's the same strand of logic that governs Lawro's prediction league. Beyond that, can't tell you much more.
     
    #19
  20. The RDBD

    The RDBD Well-Known Member

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    Last season their PL attack was a good on-paper test of our defence.
    And Spurs prevailed. Twice.
     
    #20

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