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Off Topic Jokes thread

Discussion in 'Portsmouth' started by devonFRATTONiser, Jan 25, 2015.

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  1. antipodean exile

    antipodean exile Well-Known Member

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    #5381
    antipodean exile, Apr 21, 2018
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  2. antipodean exile

    antipodean exile Well-Known Member

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    #5382
    antipodean exile, Apr 21, 2018
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  3. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #5383
    Wooperts_duck, Apr 22, 2018
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  4. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #5384
    Wooperts_duck, Apr 22, 2018
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  5. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #5385
    Wooperts_duck, Apr 22, 2018
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  6. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #5386
    Wooperts_duck, Apr 22, 2018
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  7. antipodean exile

    antipodean exile Well-Known Member

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    • There was an old woman from Leeds
    • Who swallowed a packet of seeds
    • In less than an hour
    • Her tits were in flower
    • And her vagina was covered in weeds
     
    #5387
    antipodean exile, Apr 23, 2018
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  8. antipodean exile

    antipodean exile Well-Known Member

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    • My scouser cousin"s girlfriend had a baby today.
    • They"re so proud of him.
    • He"s the only one in the family who"s been inside for less than nine months.
     
    #5388
    antipodean exile, Apr 23, 2018
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  9. antipodean exile

    antipodean exile Well-Known Member

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    • Year 2 class in Bradford comes in from playtime.
    • Teacher asks Sarah: "What did you do at playtime?"
    • Sarah says, "I played in the sand box."
    • The teacher says, "That"s good. Go to the blackboard, and if you can write "sand" correctly, I"ll give you a chocolate Hobnob."
    • She does and gets a chocolate Hobnob.
    • The teacher asks Michael what he did at playtime.Michael says, "I played with Sarah in the sand box."
    • The teacher says, "Good. If you write "box" correctly on the blackboard, I"ll give you a chocolate Hobnob."Michael does, and gets a chocolate Hobnob.
    • Teacher then asks Mustaffa Abdul Machmoud what he did at playtime.
    • He says, "I tried to play with Sarah and Michael, but they threw rocks at me."
    • The teacher says, "Threw rocks at you?
    • That sounds like blatant racial discrimination.
    • If you can go to the blackboard and write "blatant racial discrimination" I"ll give you a chocolate Hobnob."
     
    #5389
    antipodean exile, Apr 23, 2018
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  10. antipodean exile

    antipodean exile Well-Known Member

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    #5390
    antipodean exile, Apr 23, 2018
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  11. antipodean exile

    antipodean exile Well-Known Member

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    #5391
    antipodean exile, Apr 23, 2018
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  12. antipodean exile

    antipodean exile Well-Known Member

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    #5392
    antipodean exile, Apr 23, 2018
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  13. antipodean exile

    antipodean exile Well-Known Member

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    #5393
    antipodean exile, Apr 23, 2018
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  14. antipodean exile

    antipodean exile Well-Known Member

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    #5394
    antipodean exile, Apr 23, 2018
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  15. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #5395
    Wooperts_duck, Apr 27, 2018
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  16. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #5396
    Wooperts_duck, Apr 27, 2018
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  17. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #5397
    Wooperts_duck, Apr 27, 2018
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  18. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    I've never understood why women love cats. Cats are independent, they don't listen, they don't come in when you call, they like to stay out all night, and when they're home they like to be left alone and sleep.

    In other words, every quality that women hate in a man, they love in a cat.
     
    #5398
    Wooperts_duck, Apr 27, 2018
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  19. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #5399
    Wooperts_duck, Apr 27, 2018
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  20. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #5400
    Wooperts_duck, Apr 28, 2018
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