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Off Topic Heres a joke for you all

Discussion in 'Queens Park Rangers' started by kiwiqpr, Feb 23, 2012.

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  1. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    A STUDENT WHO OBTAINED 0% IN AN EXAM - AND HOW HE DID IT! Personally, I would have given him 100%✅

    Q1. In which battle did Napoleon die?

    * His last battle

    Q2. Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?

    * At the bottom of the page

    Q3. River Ravi flows in which state?

    * Liquid

    Q4. What is the main reason for divorce?

    * Marriage

    Q5. What is the main reason for failure?

    * Exams

    Q6. What can you never eat for breakfast?

    * Lunch & dinner

    Q7. What looks like half an apple?

    * The other half

    Q8. If you throw a red stone into the blue sea what will it become?

    * It will simply become wet

    Q9. How cansomeone go eight days withoutsleeping?

    * No problem just sleeps at night

    Q10. How can you lift an elephant with one hand?

    * You will never find an elephant that has only one hand.

    Q11. If you had three apples and four oranges in one hand and four apples and three oranges in other hand, what would you have?

    * Very large hands

    Q12. If it took eight men ten hours to build a wall, how long would it take four men to build it?

    * No time at all, the wall is already built

    Q13. How can u drop a raw egg onto a concrete floor without cracking it?

    *Any way you want, concrete floors are very hard to crack.

    A little sarcasm in there!
     
    #8521
    Wooperts_duck, Feb 19, 2020
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  2. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #8522
    Wooperts_duck, Feb 19, 2020
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  3. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #8523
    Wooperts_duck, Feb 19, 2020
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  4. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    CAN ADMINS OF THIS GROUP DO A BETTER JOB OF MONITORING WHO IS ALLOWED IN HERE PLEASE?! WE HAVE A NEW MEMBER, AN ELDERLY WOMAN. SHE'S BEEN PRIVATELY MESSAGING MEMBERS, SENDING THEM NAKED PICTURES OF HERSELF IN NASTY POSES ALONG WITH CLOSE UPS OF HER UNMENTIONABLES. SHE IS OFFERING AN IPHONE 8+ IN EXCHANGE FOR SEXUAL FAVORS. I AM ESPECIALLY BOTHERED BECAUSE IT TURNED OUT TO BE AN IPHONE 6 AND OBVIOUSLY SOMETHING'S WRONG WITH IT. IT'S SUPER SLOW AND THE CAPS LOCK IS STUCK ON.THANK YOU!
     
    #8524
    Wooperts_duck, Feb 19, 2020
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  5. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    Arsehole parks in ‘Disabled’ canoe space outside supermarket up north.......

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    #8525
    Wooperts_duck, Feb 19, 2020
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  6. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #8526
    Wooperts_duck, Feb 19, 2020
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  7. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    A man has been shot 200 times with an upholstery gun!

    Surgeons say " He is fully recovered now".
     
    #8527
    Wooperts_duck, Feb 19, 2020
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  8. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    I've just been to a ventriloquist's funeral - they sang the hymn "All Things Gright And Geautikal!"
     
    #8528
    Wooperts_duck, Feb 19, 2020
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  9. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #8529
    Wooperts_duck, Feb 19, 2020
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  10. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    The young fellow is about to marry and asks his grandfather how often a married couple should have sex.

    His grandfather tells him, "When you first get married, you want it all the time, maybe several times a day; later on, maybe once a week. As you get older, you have sex maybe once a month. When you get really old, you are lucky to have it once a year -- maybe on your anniversary."

    The young fellow asks, "How about you and Grandma?"

    His grandfather replies, "Oh, we just have oral sex now. She goes into her bedroom and I go into my bedroom. She yells, 'F**k you,' and I holler back, 'F**k you, too!'"
     
    #8530
    Wooperts_duck, Feb 19, 2020
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  11. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #8531
    Wooperts_duck, Feb 19, 2020
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  12. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #8532
    Wooperts_duck, Feb 19, 2020
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  13. GroveRanger

    GroveRanger Well-Known Member

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    #8533
    GroveRanger, Feb 20, 2020
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  14. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #8534
    Wooperts_duck, Feb 20, 2020
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  15. kiwiqpr

    kiwiqpr Barnsie Mod

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    #8535
    kiwiqpr, Feb 20, 2020
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  16. kiwiqpr

    kiwiqpr Barnsie Mod

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    #8536
    kiwiqpr, Feb 21, 2020
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  17. Uber_Hoop

    Uber_Hoop Well-Known Member

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    A8661416-013A-416B-AEF8-E1B266BE6E2D.jpeg
     
    #8537
    Uber_Hoop, Feb 21, 2020
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  18. Bloemfonteinbilly

    Bloemfonteinbilly Well-Known Member

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    Very clever answers but only 95% right. Without wanting to appear too pedantic, Napoleon didn't die in battle lol! What about Nelson?
     
    #8538
    Last edited: Feb 21, 2020
    Bloemfonteinbilly, Feb 21, 2020
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  19. GroveRanger

    GroveRanger Well-Known Member

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    URGENT!!
    Can anyone who knows anything about Ebay help me out please? This morning I ordered a cowboy outfit for £7.99 and Ebay now say I am 2 hours 25 minutes away from owning West Ham.
     
    #8539
    GroveRanger, Feb 21, 2020
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  20. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #8540
    Wooperts_duck, Feb 21, 2020
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