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Off Topic And Now for Something Completely Different

Discussion in 'Hull City' started by Dr.Stanley O'Google, HCFC, Nov 20, 2015.

  1. tigerscanada

    tigerscanada Well-Known Member

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    You might have had a better reception had you offered her a toilet roll in these days of scarcity.
     
    #9221
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  2. LeftSaidFred

    LeftSaidFred Well-Known Member

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    Ok which one of you jokers posted the following comment in a paper's comments section for today's JimmyGreaves story?!!

    "Big Cop8 Apr 2020 9:51AM

    He was a great player, but he was no Billy Whitehurst."
     
    #9222
  3. dennisboothstash

    dennisboothstash Well-Known Member

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    All of us?
     
    #9223
  4. DMD

    DMD Eh?
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    A quick music quiz. Only a couple of questions so far...


    1. Which Icelandic singer was named after a city in England?

    A. Norwich
    B. York
    C. Leeds


    2. Who sung 'Forget You'?

    A. Can't remember
    B. Pharrell Williams
    C. Lo Green
     
    #9224
  5. originallambrettaman

    originallambrettaman Mod Moderator
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  6. Ron Burguvdy

    Ron Burguvdy Well-Known Member

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  7. Mr Hatem

    Mr Hatem Well-Known Member

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    I suspect that is too hard to remember for most on here.
     
    #9227
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  8. dennisboothstash

    dennisboothstash Well-Known Member

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    Remember what?
     
    #9228
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  9. Anal Frank Fingers

    Anal Frank Fingers Well-Known Member

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    Bloke goes into a bar.

    The barmaid asks him what he wants.

    "I want to bury my head in your cleavage and lick off all the sweat from between your tits", he says.

    ..."You dirty pig!" shouts the barmaid, "get out before I get my husband."

    The bloke apologises and promises not to repeat his gaffe. The Barmaid accepts this and asks him again what he wants. "I want to pull your pants down, spread yoghurt between the cheeks of your ass and lick it all off."

    She says, "You dirty filthy pervert! You're banned. Get out!!"

    Again, the bloke apologises and swears never ever to do it again. "One more chance," says the barmaid, "Now - what do you want?

    "I want to turn you upside down, tear your knickers off and fill your pussy with Guinness, and then drink every last drop from the hairy cup."

    The barmaid is furious at this personal intrusion, and runs upstairs to fetch her husband, who's sitting quietly watching the telly.

    "What's up love?" he asks.

    "There's a bloke in the bar who wants to put his head between my tits and lick the sweat off", she says.

    "I'll kill him. Where is he?" storms the Husband.

    "Then he said he wanted to pour yoghurt down between my ass cheeks and lick it off" she screams.

    "Right. He's dead!" says the husband, reaching for a bat.

    "Then he said he wanted to turn me upside down, fill my pussy with Guinness and then drink it all" she cries!

    The husband puts down his bat and returns to his armchair, and switches the telly back on.

    "Aren't you going to do something about it?" she cries hysterically.

    "Look love, I'm not messing with any bloke who can drink 15 pints of Guinness..."
     
    #9229
  10. Howden Tigress

    Howden Tigress Well-Known Member

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    Quite apt at the moment, don't know about you but tolerances in our house starting to fray a little!!

    please log in to view this image
     
    #9230

  11. Mr Hatem

    Mr Hatem Well-Known Member

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    I have a spade, anyone got a spare club?
     
    #9231
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  12. DMD

    DMD Eh?
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    please log in to view this image
     
    #9232
  13. Ullofaman

    Ullofaman Well-Known Member

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    This is how to play Draughts in these days of confinement - so very Continental
     
    #9233
  14. Ron Burguvdy

    Ron Burguvdy Well-Known Member

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  15. Mr Hatem

    Mr Hatem Well-Known Member

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    #9235
  16. Ron Burguvdy

    Ron Burguvdy Well-Known Member

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    @dennisboothstash would never buy such cheap beer, however drunkenly buying a ZX Spectrum ...
     
    #9236
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  17. Mr Hatem

    Mr Hatem Well-Known Member

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    Maybe the expensive beer had all gone?
     
    #9237
  18. dennisboothstash

    dennisboothstash Well-Known Member

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    Haha
     
    #9238
  19. dennisboothstash

    dennisboothstash Well-Known Member

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    Was seriously considering buying a canoe actually!!!
     
    #9239
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  20. DMD

    DMD Eh?
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    A word to the wise, and I'm not for one moment casting aspersions, but if you're buying on-line, kayaks are weight specific, as I found out when I was asked to trial one, that immediately became a submarine when I sat in it. :emoticon-0178-rock:

    The red indian type things have risks too, as I found out playing last of the mohecans with the kids. I thought I'd have a play solo while they had a picnic...it's obvious now when I look back, but I just jumped into the back seat I'd been sitting in when it was fully loaded, and 'wheelied' across the river. :emoticon-0102-bigsm
     
    #9240

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