Official: Shane Long signs new two-year deal

We need you now to break down those games And rank the opposition based on their league position at the time of playing them, their form over the previous 6 games and rank their opponents on the same basis.

can you get that to us within the hour?

oh and then do the same for his first three seasons and rank the quality of his team mates?

 

We also need to factor in the relative competence and Shane-hating nature of all the referees involved.

 

that’s easy. They’re all told not to award him fouls

 

Just in case you’re not busy

I think sub appearances need to be points gained or lost

 

I didn't see any percentages in there either


Obviously I could work it out, but I have a rule about not using my brain when I'm off work.

 

funny that. I have a rule not use my brain when I am at work!!

allegedly

 

And if he was played down the middle, left, right or just told to run around a lot.

 

I woke up at 3:30 for no discernible reason, so apparently I have to do math or something.

 

And whether he was nursing a semi during that particular match or not.

 

Is it possible to produce a formulation that also accounts for his value at the time of the games over the seasons. So he starts at £12m season one and that value goes up and down based on the stats you use to determine the effect his appearances have in our points tally, depending on the quality of the team mates around him (and how you’ve used stats to determine that) and the ranking system used for the opponents and their form at that time and position in the league.

hope you’re not planning on doing anything today.

 

You're asking me to doing a shlongitudinal study of value over time?

 

I don’t want to see any study of your schlong!

 

I’d suggest this is skewed a bit as he seems to me to be one of (if not the best) option to bring on when we are winning due to him stretching the game. So when he was coming off the bench I reckon we were winning/drawing in the vast majority of games before he got on the pitch.

 

But can we trust his figures will be all inclusive?
I mean, he missed the S off of maths!
Only teasing Schad.

 

Very happy with this. A few seasons ago I was one of many saying we should cash in, but when you just accept that he's not going to score many, you really appreciate him as a player and what he brings to the team.

As others have said, he always puts in 100% and never seems to complain which endears him to the fans. He works well with Ings, but equally is a good option to have from the bench, so if we didn't renew his contract, we'd have to bring in a sub striker at considerable cost which doesn't make much sense.

He doesn't look 33 at all and has kept in good shape so I could see him performing at this level for at least two more seasons.

 

Love it! Better than Christmas!!

 

Changed that for Libby who seems to think Shane's Schlong is the key factor here

 

Rare photo of Shane and his twin ...
... or is it?

 

He is also excellent in the air. Whether you need someone with pace to stretch defences or someone to keep centrebacks occupied because of his strength in the air, he is worth it.