Off Topic John Ex Aberdeen now E.R. *READ THIS FIRST*

It's occurred to me that John is asleep and when he reads this he can't possibly imagine how remarkable this evenings result was. Let's tell John how awesome some things are in this world.

I'll start.

Meghan Markle has some super awesome things to say about other people who are less fortunate than herself and it won't sound condescending at all.

A million year old axe has been found and it was made from a hippo's femur.

Some scoring records have been set and football fans are super excited all over the place.

CERN have discovered a new particle.

A 120,000 year old necklace has revealed the origins of string.


Help me out, people.

 

Jon we won 10 nil.... we are staying upp

 

The moon is 85 million years younger than thought...

 

A rare comet that wont be seen for another 6800 years (well not by me anyway) has been seen streaking over parts of the UK...

 

Jodie Whittaker has been voted best Dr Who ever in a poll.

Tom Baker came last.

 

Was ehab allam sat on it? Shouting 'dad, are we there yet?'

 

Trump got assassinated

 

It's only a game

 

Hey John, they've just found an effective vaccine for Covid 19 and those problems that you had, it turns out they weren't that bad.

 

Also, have you checked those lottery results? Because I have a feeling they've been resolved and if you bought a ticket, well, you've got to be in it to win it.

 

You lot should think yourselves lucky I had a tip for the 8 o'clock at Ayr tonight I put £50 on it. Came third

 

Hey John - viagra mk2.....twice the length, twice the stamina!

 

John, you didn't have to sit there watching it.

 

World peace at last!

War is over!

All we needed was Love and we got it.

Cut price anarl.



John and Yoko were right.


He's still alive and recording a new album.

And she has discovered the ability to sing.



And I am the ****ing Eggman.

 

And unbelievably the guy who works down the chip shop who swore he was Elvis, turned out to be Elvis after all...

 

Grant McCann named manager of the month.

 

I’d drunk some scotch earlier, so fell asleep of course

Now woken up with a horrible feeling and terrible memories of a nightmare, that I assume can’t be true

But don’t worry John. It’s good news...there’s still some scotch left.

 

It was all a dream... The Allams never bought the club, we did go into administration at the time, but were rescued by a consortium of locals and bitcoin rich investors from Andorra, after a long time we regrouped and went back up the leagues, and we've just been cleared by UEFA over financial irregularities after winning the champions league much to the annoyance of existing football elite...

 

You've been left £3m, just send me your bank details and £1k so I can transfer it over.