1. Log in now to remove adverts - no adverts at all to registered members!

Off Topic The Goodhand Arms

Discussion in 'Southampton' started by TheSecondStain, Jul 15, 2014.

Page 2322 of 2658
  1. saintrichie123

    saintrichie123 Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jan 29, 2011
    Messages:
    30,053
    Likes Received:
    34,730
    5A2899A1-E720-45D8-8429-01AB6B603C94.jpeg
     
    #46421
    saintrichie123, Jul 13, 2020
    Schrodinger's Cat, fatletiss, MIsaints and 4 others like this.
  2. saintrichie123

    saintrichie123 Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jan 29, 2011
    Messages:
    30,053
    Likes Received:
    34,730
    An Aardvark walks into a bar ..........

    Bartender: Can I get you a beer?
    Aardvark: Nooooooooooooo .....

    Bartender: Would you like a cider?
    Aardvark: Nooooooooooooooo .....

    Bartender: Can I get you some wine?
    Aardvark: Noooooooooooooooooo

    Bartender: Well, how about a whiskey?
    Aardvark: Noooooooooooooooooooooooooo
    .
    .
    .
    .
    .

    Bartender: What's all this with the long Nos?
     
    #46422
    saintrichie123, Jul 14, 2020
    SaintMarv, StJabbo1, San Tejón and 2 others like this.
  3. fatletiss

    fatletiss Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    May 17, 2011
    Messages:
    57,300
    Likes Received:
    40,066
    69DE2691-4EB0-477D-9E00-0CDD0701EE9E.jpeg
     
    #46423
    fatletiss, Jul 14, 2020
    woolstonian, RedandWhiteManofKent, thereisonlyoneno7 and 3 others like this.
  4. Schrodinger's Cat

    Schrodinger's Cat Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Feb 17, 2011
    Messages:
    5,389
    Likes Received:
    8,147
    I recently auditioned for a part in a new ABBA movie, but got beaten to it by this big bearded twat.

    He’ll regret it though.

    I’ll make him sorry he was Bjorn.
     
    #46424
    Schrodinger's Cat, Jul 14, 2020
    davecg69, thereisonlyoneno7, ChilcoSaint and 1 other person like this.
  5. ----HistoryRepeating----

    ----HistoryRepeating---- Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Feb 24, 2011
    Messages:
    20,950
    Likes Received:
    9,664
    China are going to be seriously fuming by our 5G betrayal. We should have dragged it out a little longer to sort the trade deals!
    <whistle>
     
    #46425
    ----HistoryRepeating----, Jul 14, 2020
  6. SaintMarv

    SaintMarv Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jul 12, 2011
    Messages:
    2,776
    Likes Received:
    4,262
    A woman goes into a pet shop and sees a parrot on sale for £10. Why is that parrot so cheap? She asks. The shop owner said To be honest with you it used to live in a brothel and it's language can be quite colourful. The woman thought that might be a laugh and buys it. When she gets home the parrot says F*ck me a new brothel. The woman laughs. When her two teenage daughters get home from college the parrot says F*ck me new prossies they all laugh. When her husband gets home from work the parrot says F*ck me Keith I ain't seen you for weeks.
     
    #46426
    SaintMarv, Jul 14, 2020
    RedandWhiteManofKent, San Tejón, davecg69 and 2 others like this.
  7. SaintMarv

    SaintMarv Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jul 12, 2011
    Messages:
    2,776
    Likes Received:
    4,262
    I decided to watch a porn film earlier. On the screen was a fat bloke masterbating. Then i realised I hadn't turned the TV on
     
    #46427
    SaintMarv, Jul 14, 2020
    davecg69, ChilcoSaint and thereisonlyoneno7 like this.
  8. saintrichie123

    saintrichie123 Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jan 29, 2011
    Messages:
    30,053
    Likes Received:
    34,730
    DE73BD27-44C8-4302-94DC-97C46DC6C0B0.jpeg
     
    #46428
    saintrichie123, Jul 14, 2020
    woolstonian, Schrodinger's Cat, davecg69 and 2 others like this.
  9. SaintMarv

    SaintMarv Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jul 12, 2011
    Messages:
    2,776
    Likes Received:
    4,262
    #46429
    SaintMarv, Jul 14, 2020
    davecg69 and saintrichie123 like this.
  10. saintrichie123

    saintrichie123 Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jan 29, 2011
    Messages:
    30,053
    Likes Received:
    34,730
    I turned 50 weeks ago so yes I am old now <laugh>
     
    #46430
    saintrichie123, Jul 14, 2020
    thereisonlyoneno7 and SaintMarv like this.

  11. ----HistoryRepeating----

    ----HistoryRepeating---- Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Feb 24, 2011
    Messages:
    20,950
    Likes Received:
    9,664
    Sitting here with my bad hair cut and not getting it, well I feel kinda young. <laugh>
     
    #46431
    ----HistoryRepeating----, Jul 14, 2020
    thereisonlyoneno7 likes this.
  12. ChilcoSaint

    ChilcoSaint What a disgrace
    Forum Moderator

    Joined:
    Feb 8, 2011
    Messages:
    37,334
    Likes Received:
    35,246
    If you weren’t at least 14 years old in 1979, you won’t get it. <laugh>
     
    #46432
    ChilcoSaint, Jul 14, 2020
    thereisonlyoneno7, SaintMarv, davecg69 and 1 other person like this.
  13. saintrichie123

    saintrichie123 Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jan 29, 2011
    Messages:
    30,053
    Likes Received:
    34,730
    26994924-D014-44C6-BE8C-DC48841D109D.jpeg
     
    #46433
    saintrichie123, Jul 14, 2020
    ChilcoSaint, thereisonlyoneno7 and SaintMarv like this.
  14. SaintMarv

    SaintMarv Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jul 12, 2011
    Messages:
    2,776
    Likes Received:
    4,262
    Two Bats in a cave and one says to the other I'm starving I'm going to get something to eat. His mate said you won't find nothing now it's approaching daylight. Yes I will he said and flies out the cave. Ten minutes later he is back with blood dripping down his fangs. His mate said where did you get that? He said come to the edge of the cave and I'll show you. Do you see that hill over there? His mate said yes? Do you see that tree? His mate said yes? Well I F*cking didn't
     
    #46434
    SaintMarv, Jul 14, 2020
    ChilcoSaint and thereisonlyoneno7 like this.
  15. Libby

    Libby 9-0

    Joined:
    Feb 9, 2011
    Messages:
    76,506
    Likes Received:
    77,275
    Anyone on here been to Longleat in recent years? Haven't been since I was a kid but taking my lad next week and trying to weigh up the risk of seeing the monkeys.
     
    #46435
    Libby, Jul 14, 2020
  16. San Tejón

    San Tejón Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Feb 6, 2014
    Messages:
    14,083
    Likes Received:
    18,717
    The likeness is uncanny, when you see this.

    upload_2020-7-14_21-23-38.png
     
    #46436
    San Tejón, Jul 14, 2020
    ChilcoSaint, SaintMarv and thereisonlyoneno7 like this.
  17. Schrodinger's Cat

    Schrodinger's Cat Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Feb 17, 2011
    Messages:
    5,389
    Likes Received:
    8,147
    Whatever you do, do not drive a car through the monkey zone, not if you want to keep windscreen wipers and window trim rubber.
    I've seen 10 monkeys descend on a car and 30 seconds later, they all ran off clutching something. I was safe because I had a water pistol, but you're not supposed to do that, apparently

    Longleat say this:
    "Our cheeky monkeys may well climb on your car and can cause damage. Unfortunately, we can't take responsibility for any damage or losses to your car including spoilers, trims, roof racks, accessories and parking sensors (which are their favourite). So if you want to steer clear of the Monkey Drive-through …"

    Longleat is a pretty good day out really, if you've got kids. I go at least once or twice a year with various grandkids as it's only 30 minutes drive from my house, although not been this year for obvious reasons
     
    #46437
    Schrodinger's Cat, Jul 14, 2020
    ChilcoSaint likes this.
  18. ChilcoSaint

    ChilcoSaint What a disgrace
    Forum Moderator

    Joined:
    Feb 8, 2011
    Messages:
    37,334
    Likes Received:
    35,246
    We went to Heaven’s Gate a few weeks ago. T’were lush.
    9E9CF6CE-BDBD-425D-BC8F-A68A5DC4E3D4.jpeg
     
    #46438
    ChilcoSaint, Jul 15, 2020
    Schrodinger's Cat and SaintMarv like this.
  19. fatletiss

    fatletiss Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    May 17, 2011
    Messages:
    57,300
    Likes Received:
    40,066
    not been for years but Mrs has been watching a programme on BBC2 recently about it. Check that out to see what you think.
     
    #46439
    fatletiss, Jul 15, 2020
  20. fatletiss

    fatletiss Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    May 17, 2011
    Messages:
    57,300
    Likes Received:
    40,066
    #46440
    fatletiss, Jul 15, 2020
Page 2322 of 2658

Share This Page