Jokes

They were let in, weren’t they?

so no, in all probability.

 

My wife left me today, she says I put sports ahead of our relationship. Very sad, we were together for 6 seasons.

 

My wife is in A&E after being stung on the forehead by a wasp. Her face is all swollen and bruised but thankfully I got the wasp with my shovel.

 

Millwall have just announced that with fans no longer being allowed back in October, season ticket sales have been stopped, and Dave and Fred can pop back in for a refund anytime this week.

 

I feel for the young Leeds fans who have still to see Leeds play in the Premiership

 

Don't worry about them Ringo, they have the next 50/100 years to watch them play there.

 

and, coincidentally, 100 years is the earliest Millwall will be back there.

 

A source inside Camelot has revealed that a man from New Cross was a recent lottery winner. The lucky man was delighted to announce that he had spent his winnings on a new player for his beloved Millwall. He said: "If my three numbers come up again I'll gladly buy them another!"

 

I've started to wear a balaclava to bed. If there's a break in the burglars will think I'm part of the team.

 

What's brass and sounds like Tom Jones?
Trombones.

 

I signed up for an assertiveness course.
The teacher didn't turn up the first week.
The second week the teacher didn't turn up either.
When the teacher didn't turn up for the third week I went to the office to complain.
They said, "Congratulations you've passed."

 

Running away doesn't help you with your problems, unless you're fat.


I'm here all week

 

Can you see the cigar?

 

That was stylish. Top marks for screwing the quotes system up

 

Shaaup, you.

 

Don't get carried away Chesh, concentrate on the next 5 months before looking any further.

 

Could say the same about millwall, the team you said played you off the park and were going up, turned out to be crap on Sunday, where does that leave you ?