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What day of the week is it thread

Discussion in 'Wycombe' started by Guywanderer, Mar 15, 2020.

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  1. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #1181
    Wooperts_duck, Oct 20, 2020
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  2. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #1182
    Wooperts_duck, Oct 20, 2020
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  3. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #1183
    Wooperts_duck, Oct 21, 2020
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  4. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #1184
    Wooperts_duck, Oct 21, 2020
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  5. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #1185
    Wooperts_duck, Oct 22, 2020
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  6. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #1186
    Wooperts_duck, Oct 22, 2020
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  7. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    Jurgen Klopp flies to Baghdad to watch a young Iraqi boy play football. Kloppy is suitably impressed and arranges for him to come over.
    Two weeks later Liverpool are 4-0 down to Chelsea with only 20 minutes left, Klopp gives the young Iraqi striker the nod and on he goes.
    The lad is a sensation, scores 5 goals in 20 minutes and wins the game for Liverpool. The fans are delighted, the players and coaches are delighted and the media love the new star.
    When the lad comes off the pitch he phones his mum to tell her about his first day in English football.
    'Hello mum, guess what?' he says 'I played for 20 minutes today, we were 4-0 down but I scored 5 and we won. Everybody loves me, the fans, the media, they all love me.'
    'Wonderful,' says his mum, 'Let me tell you about my day. Your father got shot in the street and robbed, your sister and I were ambushed, gang raped and beaten up and now your brother has joined a gang of looters, and all while you were having such great time.'
    The young lad is very upset. 'What can I say mum, but I'm really sorry..'
    'Sorry?!!! Sorry?!!!' screams his mum, 'it's your f*cking fault we came to Liverpool in the first place!'
     
    #1187
    Wooperts_duck, Oct 23, 2020
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  8. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #1188
    Wooperts_duck, Oct 23, 2020
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  9. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #1189
    Wooperts_duck, Oct 23, 2020
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  10. Guywanderer

    Guywanderer Well-Known Member

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    My wife says she is leaving me because she thinks I'm obsessed with astronomy...........



    What planet is she on?
     
    #1190
    Guywanderer, Oct 25, 2020
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  11. Guywanderer

    Guywanderer Well-Known Member

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    I went by the house where I grew up today and asked to go in to look around, but they said no and shut the door in my face...





    My parents can be so rude!
     
    #1191
    Guywanderer, Oct 25, 2020
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  12. Guywanderer

    Guywanderer Well-Known Member

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    I remember when I first started dating my wife, I got a hard-on just watching her eating a banana...



    Now after ten years of marriage, I only get aroused if she starts choking on it!
     
    #1192
    Guywanderer, Oct 25, 2020
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  13. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    If anyone wants to come and talk to me about my shoddy joinery work...

    My door is always open.
     
    #1193
    Wooperts_duck, Oct 25, 2020
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  14. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #1194
    Wooperts_duck, Oct 25, 2020
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  15. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #1195
    Wooperts_duck, Oct 25, 2020
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  16. Wooperts_duck

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    #1196
    Wooperts_duck, Oct 26, 2020
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  17. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    My wife left me because of my obsession with Elton John, AND she took all the chairs with her.

    I'm still standing
     
    #1197
    Wooperts_duck, Oct 26, 2020
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  18. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #1198
    Wooperts_duck, Oct 28, 2020
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  19. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #1199
    Wooperts_duck, Oct 28, 2020
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  20. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #1200
    Wooperts_duck, Oct 28, 2020
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