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Off Topic The Goodhand Arms

Discussion in 'Southampton' started by TheSecondStain, Jul 15, 2014.

  1. Schrodinger's Cat

    Schrodinger's Cat Well-Known Member

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    I hope the boat is well sealed
     
    #48201
  2. saintrichie123

    saintrichie123 Well-Known Member

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  3. saintrichie123

    saintrichie123 Well-Known Member

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  4. fatletiss

    fatletiss Well-Known Member

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    #48204
    saintrichie123 likes this.
  5. davecg69

    davecg69 Well-Known Member

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    #48205
  6. San Tejón

    San Tejón Well-Known Member

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  7. thereisonlyoneno7

    thereisonlyoneno7 Well-Known Member

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    #48207
    saintrichie123 likes this.
  8. ChilcoSaint

    ChilcoSaint What a disgrace
    Forum Moderator

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  9. StJabbo1

    StJabbo1 Well-Known Member

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    please log in to view this image
     
    #48209
  10. San Tejón

    San Tejón Well-Known Member

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    Is it necessary to take the dishes out of the sink first?
    Asking for a friend. :emoticon-0111-blush
     
    #48210

  11. StJabbo1

    StJabbo1 Well-Known Member

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    It's an option to be determined by the urinator. I prefer peeing in the shower, who said men can't multitask?
     
    #48211
    fatletiss and davecg69 like this.
  12. StJabbo1

    StJabbo1 Well-Known Member

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    A friend of mine tried to annoy me with bird puns, but toucan play at that game.
     
    #48212
    thereisonlyoneno7 likes this.
  13. The 83rd Minute

    The 83rd Minute Well-Known Member

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    A prisoner escapes from his prison where he had been kept for 15 years.
    As he runs away, he finds a house and breaks into it looking for money and guns, but he finds a young couple in bed.
    He orders the guy out of bed, ties him up on a chair.
    While tying the girl up to the bed he gets on top of her, kisses her on the neck, then gets up, and goes to the bathroom.
    While he is in there, the husband tells his wife:

    "Listen, this guy is an escaped prisoner, look at his clothes!
    He probably spent lots of time in prison and hasn't seen a woman in years.
    I saw how he kissed your neck.
    If he wants sex, don't resist, don't complain, just do what he tells you, give him satisfaction.
    This guy must be dangerous, if he gets angry, he will kill us".

    "Be strong, honey. I love you."

    To which the wife responds:

    "He was not kissing my neck.
    He was whispering in my ear........
    He told me he was gay, found you very sexy and asked if we kept any Vaseline in the bathroom".

    "Be strong, honey. I love you, too!!"
     
    #48213
  14. San Tejón

    San Tejón Well-Known Member

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  15. fatletiss

    fatletiss Well-Known Member

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    as Godders told me several years back, that is good for your feet :)
     
    #48215
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  16. Number 1 Jasper

    Number 1 Jasper Well-Known Member

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  17. Number 1 Jasper

    Number 1 Jasper Well-Known Member

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  18. St. Luigi Scrosoppi

    St. Luigi Scrosoppi Well-Known Member

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    I wouldn't take any notice of him. he pisses all over the place, in his trousers, in his bed, wherever he loses control.
     
    #48218
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  19. fatletiss

    fatletiss Well-Known Member

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    You were right though.... much to the disgust of my wife.
     
    #48219
  20. SaintMarv

    SaintMarv Well-Known Member

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    Dear Neighbour
    Hi Max this is Richard next door.Ive been riddled with guilt for a few months and have been trying to get up the courage to tell you face-to-face.When you are not around I've been sharing your wife day and night probably much more than you. I haven't been getting it at home recently. I know that is no excuse. The temptation was just too great. I can't live with the guilt and hope you'll except my sincere apologies and forgive me.
    Please suggest a fee for usage and I'll pay you
    Regards
    Richard
    Max feeling enraged and betrayed grabbed his gun and went next door and shot Richard dead. He returned home and shot his wife dead poured himself a stiff drink and sat down on the sofa. Max then looked at his phone and discovered a second text message from Richard.
    Second text message
    Hi Max Richard here again
    Sorry about the typo on my last text. I assume you figured out and noticed that the darned spell checker had changed Wi-Fi to wife. Technology huh?. It'll be the death of us all.
     
    #48220

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