Off Topic Just for Mr RAWhite

A man with two buckets of fish was leaving a beach well known for its fishing and was stopped by a game warden who suspected him of foul play.
The warden asked the man, "Do you have a licence to catch those fish?"
The man replied to the game warden, "No, sir. These are my pet fish."
"Pet fish?!" the warden replied.
"Yes, sir. Every night I bring the fish down to this beach and let them swim around for about a half-hour, When I whistle, they all come back, jump back into my buckets, and I take them home."
"That's bollocks" said the warden. "Fish can't do that!"
"No, really! says the man. "Here, I'll show you." and he releases the fish into the ocean.
"Well, I've GOT to see this!" the game warden replied.
The man and the warden stood and waited. After several minutes, the game warden turned to the man and said, "Well?"
"Well, what?" the man asked.
"When are you going to call them back?" the game warden exclaims.
"Call who back?" the man asked.
"The FISH."
"What fish?"

 

Very proud to have just finished my 7th marathon in 7 days!
Or 'Snickers', as they are now called.

 

You should start another topic for this!

 

So.
Greta Thunberg. 18 and legal.
But looks 12.
Anybody? Come on. You know you’ve thought about it.
No?
Just me and Prince Andrew then.

 

Lol

 

please log in to view this image

 

At the interview, I was asked what my greatest weakness was.
I said 'Honesty'
Interviewer said, 'I don't consider that to be a weakness'
Me. 'I don't give a **** what you think'

 

please log in to view this image

 

Went to see a mind reader last night.
She said "Think of a card, any card"
"OK"
"Is it the four of clubs?"
"No"
"Ace of diamonds?"
"No"
"What is it then?"
"Birthday"

 

Number 7

 

5

 

no 2

 

They've all got different numbers on, so all of them.

 

This morning some git threw a bottle of omega3’s at me .Went to hospital just to be sure , they said I’d be ok , the wounds were superfishoil.

 

Number 2, he’s got an extra digit on his right foot and number 7 as he’s looking up

 

The bloke who scanned my items at the supermarket was rude, unhelpful and smelled like he'd been drinking.

That's the last time I use the self checkout.

 

If you close your eyes and rub a kiwifruit in one hand and rub a testicle with the other, it's difficult to tell the difference.
It also gets you banned from Asda.

 

3 has different tail feathers.
8 has different lines on its back.
6 has different feathers on its left shoulder.
Etc.