Ah stress mate. I wish I didn't have it but realise its whats holds us back from enjoying ourselves. Are you in a rut doing the same old shìt and not enjoying yourself ? Get yerself out with the mrs, go for a walk or a day out etc. Break your monotony .
I think a lot of it is being stuck in a rut as @C19RK73 pointed out. My concern is the hiding stuff from the wife ane feeling like I need a drink to relax. Its been a hard 2 to 3 years and habit is hard to break
Maybe talk to your mrs mate. You might be surprised she might know your hiding something from her and be a relief to her it's something you can both work out.
Thank you all again for the kind words and support. We have 2 kids left at home, one with down syndrome and one just diagnosed with quite severe epilepsy and dyslexia. It makes for a pretty full on 24-7 schedule. I wouldn't change them for the world and I love them to the moon and back, but changing routines, or having adult time is nigh on impossible
I applaud you Chunk for facing up to your situation. Accept any help offered. You've taken large strides in doing something to remedy the turmoil that you feel. Keep people up to date. You'll be surprised by how many people are genuinely rooting for you. Well done mate!
It is a habit mate, just a very bad one. Not sure what you're lying to the Mrs about, but speak to her. You have a **** of a lot going on, so give yourself a break if you can. Ultimately you need to replace the bad habits with positive ones. And you need some me-time, everyone does, you have to be selfish about that and look after yourself..... within reason. It takes time, so give yourself time to change.
mate, believe me when i say you have not 'just' taken a first step, you have taken a ****ing massive step and that is not something to beat yourself up about it is something you can be well proud of...that first 'i am..' takes some bollocks and is a damn hard thing to do. i wont lie and try to tell you that from here on in is all plain sailing as we both know it wont be, there is a lot of work to do but with that mind set you have now it will be worth it, i used to love the drink and if i had money in my pocket i had to be in a pub, luckily i was never one for drinking in the home, eventually the meds put paid to the occasional drink but not had a drop for about 15 years, i always thought smoking would be much harder to stop but after my heart attack it was surprisingly easy...what i am trying to say is that if you have a good reason to stop something (health, family etc) then it can make it a much more bearable task. just want to add my own very well done for holding your hand up here...good luck!!
Take no notice of half the people on here. Get yourself to a meeting and judge for yourself if you are a alcoholic or not People won't judge you and if you stick around you will get all the help you want.
I’ve been friends with a few alcoholics. Some I didn’t know they were until it was too late. Others, like yourself, admitted it and opened up. Hope you get yourself sorted chunk. Listen to people on here. Get support. Good luck
Sounds like everything is getting on top of you mate and you need an outlet. It's a good sign you've asked on here at least rather than bottle things up. Get some help and take time out for yourself. Me mam always said " sometimes you have to look after number 1 to look after number 2".
Well done on tking the first steps Chunk. It may be worth speaking to you wife. Doesn't seem to me that you've been lying to her you just haven't been telling her anything. If you're feeling guilty about that then sharing how you feel may actually relieve some of the stress. I had a situation a few years ago and it resulted in a mini breakdown. Once i'd shared what i'd been felling with the wife she told me that she'd been watching me go downhill for sometime and was actually relieved when i told her what was going on.
@Chunksafc I have given things some thought and think your fundamental stressors are additional needs children cutting into your ability to de-stress from work and this then carries over to work where you stress over being the breadwinner and struggle to cope with work because you can't relax at home. I went through something like that when my son was first displaying Autism at age 4 right up to age 14. Eventually we got some help through the National Autistic Society, a speach and language youth club and my local Community Mental Health Team. I was lucky in part because of a zero alcohol level policy at work which prevented me relying on the drink for support. One thing I would suggest is, if you are in the NE then contact the Foundation of Light. Take a look at this link below for the types of things they can help with. https://wellbeinginfo.org/services/foundation-of-light/ Whatever, just remember you have plenty of friends on here rooting for you marra. You aren't on your own. A problem shared is a problem rationalised and on its way to being brought down to a more manageable size.
Obviously not ideal place but agree with others that your probably not an alcoholic, so for example my family member thought it was the norm to have cornflakes for breakfast with a glass of brandy & when challenged over it replies as in its only one. spirit bottles hidden all over, just continue with the steps you have made & you will be ok. like say think a lot of people over the last year with lockdown will be in similar boat
A lot of companies now provide a helpline for stress related issues. These are run by independent outfits who cannot share your name or what you are calling for with your employer unless they think that you might be on the verge of serious self harming in some way. Have a look through all of the paperwork you were sent when you joined your new company as it may be that you actually don't need to speak to your HR team at all. You've already taken a massive step towards beating this - all the very best of luck to you with the rest of your journey.
Well done you for coming on here and opening up. Problems you are honest about and acknowledge are easier to fight than if you try and cover them up or they remain in the shadows. Not that its plain sailing from now on... but minute by minute, hour by hour, day by day you will start to regain your life from an enemy that is insidious and waiting to pounce if you slip up. I at times like many have depended on alcohol, I thought it was helping.... how stupid was that... to me it is now a big con, particularly for men, for some reason it is manly to 'drown your sorrows' it could not be more wrong. I now realise you only make matters worse for youself and especially those close to you. Never give up the fight.... it is a hard earned victory, but worth it.it will be the toughest and bravest thing you ever do.