I had my first Sky Dive today and I was terrified. This guy strapped himself to me and we jumped out. As we plummeted to earth he said to me, “So, how long have you been an instructor?"
If porn films had commercials. '" Don't bust that nut yet, we'll be right back after a short message about erectile dysfunction'".
"A Japanese man walked into the currency exchange in New York City with 5000 yen and walked out with $72. The following week, he walked in with another 5000 yen, and was handed $66. He asked the teller why he got less money that week than the previous week. The teller said, "Fluctuations." The Japanese man stormed out, and just before slamming the door, turned around and shouted, "Fluc you Amelicans, too!"
My mate took his Grandad to one of those fancy Health Spas, where tiny little fish eat all the dead skin. It cost him £35, but it was a lot cheaper than a funeral.
Mrs Smug is so bloody pedantic. Her younger sister, Sue, is here helping her to pack. When we'd finished working last evening I asked Sue if she'd like a jump in the hot tub. Our lass was appalled and said, "You should ask her if she wants to make love in the hot tub." You just can't win with these women
BREAKING: Prime Minister Boris Johnson has announced that due to the new Indian covid variant people will now be offered the Pun jab Please start taking this Indian Covid Variant seriously !! my neighbour caught it and has been in a korma for a week and he's only just buried his naan.