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Jokes

Discussion in 'Leeds United' started by ellandback, Jun 25, 2019.

Page 138 of 441
  1. brisbane-lion

    brisbane-lion Well-Known Member

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    The other day I came across a man pouring petrol over illegal immigrants and setting them alight. I said "What are you doing?" He said "About fifteen to the gallon."
     
    #2741
    brisbane-lion, May 29, 2021
    stonkin, Old Git, FORZA LEEDS and 1 other person like this.
  2. Makemstine Roger

    Makemstine Roger Well-Known Member

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    #2742
    Makemstine Roger, May 29, 2021
    brisbane-lion and FORZA LEEDS like this.
  3. Makemstine Roger

    Makemstine Roger Well-Known Member

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    #2743
    Makemstine Roger, May 29, 2021
    Irishshako, brisbane-lion, 2 pennth and 2 others like this.
  4. xbpod

    xbpod Well-Known Member

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    FB_IMG_1622378501676.jpg
     
    #2744
    xbpod, May 30, 2021
    Infidel, OLOF, oldschool and 6 others like this.
  5. Whitejock

    Whitejock Well-Known Member

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    #2745
    Whitejock, May 31, 2021
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  6. Old Git

    Old Git Well-Known Member

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    #2746
    Old Git, May 31, 2021
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  7. Aski

    Aski Well-Known Member

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    I’ve offered my elderly neighbour ten quid to let me have a go on her Stannah stairlift. I hope she takes me up on it.

    What's the best thing about living in Switzerland? I'm not sure, but the flag is a big plus.

    Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until they open their mouths.

    A man entered a local paper’s pun contest. He sent in 10 different puns, in the hope that at least one of the puns would win. Unfortunately, no pun in 10 did.
     
    #2747
    Aski, Jun 1, 2021
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  8. Aski

    Aski Well-Known Member

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    The pedestrian light on the corner beeps when it's safe to cross the street.
    I was crossing with an 'intellectually challenged' co-worker of mine.
    She asked if I knew what the beeper was for.
    I explained that it signals blind people when the light is red.
    Appalled, she responded, 'what on earth are blind people doing driving?!'
    She is a government employee.....
     
    #2748
    Aski, Jun 1, 2021
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  9. xbpod

    xbpod Well-Known Member

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    IMG-20210602-WA0001.jpg
     
    #2749
    xbpod, Jun 2, 2021
    Makemstine Roger, Whitejock, oldschool and 5 others like this.
  10. Old Git

    Old Git Well-Known Member

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    #2750
    Old Git, Jun 2, 2021
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  11. Aski

    Aski Well-Known Member

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    aha one of Mick Miller's finest jokes, second only to his Noddy radio show
     
    #2751
    Aski, Jun 2, 2021
  12. Old Git

    Old Git Well-Known Member

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    #2752
    Old Git, Jun 3, 2021
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  13. OLOF

    OLOF Well-Known Member

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    ****in hell old git, don't be upsetting Poly
     
    #2753
    OLOF, Jun 3, 2021
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  14. oldschool

    oldschool Well-Known Member

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    off topic....but this is a good read for all the oldies on here, proper footy with proper men plenty of great players, and of course we are in it !! IMG_20210514_153329870.jpg
     
    #2754
    oldschool, Jun 4, 2021
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  15. Old Git

    Old Git Well-Known Member

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    Hard Hitting.
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    #2755
    Old Git, Jun 4, 2021
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  16. Old Git

    Old Git Well-Known Member

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    Spare a thought for the police who have had to cancel their annual McCann holiday at the last minute.
     
    #2756
    Old Git, Jun 4, 2021
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  17. OLOF

    OLOF Well-Known Member

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    IMG-20210604-WA0004.jpg
     
    #2757
    OLOF, Jun 4, 2021
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  18. ellandback

    ellandback Well-Known Member
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    #2758
    ellandback, Jun 4, 2021
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  19. Makemstine Roger

    Makemstine Roger Well-Known Member

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    #2759
    Makemstine Roger, Jun 5, 2021
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  20. Makemstine Roger

    Makemstine Roger Well-Known Member

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    #2760
    Makemstine Roger, Jun 5, 2021
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