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Off Topic Jokes thread

Discussion in 'Portsmouth' started by devonFRATTONiser, Jan 25, 2015.

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  1. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #19321
    Wooperts_duck, Jun 15, 2021
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  2. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #19322
    Wooperts_duck, Jun 15, 2021
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  3. antipodean exile

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    #19323
    antipodean exile, Jun 16, 2021
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  4. antipodean exile

    antipodean exile Well-Known Member

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    #19324
    antipodean exile, Jun 16, 2021
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  5. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    WEMBLEY TICKETS....
    England v Scotland
    Friday 18th June 2021
    Kick Off 8pm

    One of mates has two tickets in a corporate box for the England v Scotland game. He paid £300 each, but he didn't realise when he bought them that it was going to be the same day as his Covid 19 postponed wedding. If you are interested, he is looking for someone to take his place.

    It's at Reading Registry Office, at 2.30pm. The bride's name is Moira, she's 5'4", about 8 stone, quite pretty, has her own income and is a really good cook.
     
    #19325
    Wooperts_duck, Jun 16, 2021
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  6. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    Just heard Joe Biden has visited Christian Eriksen in hospital.

    "He has managed to string some words together now, so that is promising" said Eriksen
     
    #19326
    Wooperts_duck, Jun 16, 2021
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  7. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #19327
    Wooperts_duck, Jun 16, 2021
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  8. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #19328
    Wooperts_duck, Jun 16, 2021
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  9. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #19329
    Wooperts_duck, Jun 16, 2021
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  10. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #19330
    Wooperts_duck, Jun 16, 2021
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  11. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    I went to a fancy dress party last night dressed as a harp. My friend said what are you? I said I’m a harp.

    He said your outfit’s too short to be a harp. I said are you calling me a lyre?
     
    #19331
    Wooperts_duck, Jun 16, 2021
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  12. antipodean exile

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    #19332
    antipodean exile, Jun 17, 2021
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  13. antipodean exile

    antipodean exile Well-Known Member

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    Old fashioned remedy for colds and sore throats - I want some !!!!!

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    #19333
    antipodean exile, Jun 17, 2021
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  14. antipodean exile

    antipodean exile Well-Known Member

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    Did you know the bloke who named the umbrella meant to call it brella

    But he hesitated
     
    #19334
    antipodean exile, Jun 17, 2021
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  15. antipodean exile

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    #19335
    antipodean exile, Jun 17, 2021
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  16. antipodean exile

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    #19336
    antipodean exile, Jun 17, 2021
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  17. antipodean exile

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    #19337
    antipodean exile, Jun 17, 2021
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  18. antipodean exile

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    #19338
    antipodean exile, Jun 17, 2021
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  19. antipodean exile

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    #19339
    antipodean exile, Jun 17, 2021
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  20. antipodean exile

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    #19340
    antipodean exile, Jun 17, 2021
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