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Off Topic Heres a joke for you all

Discussion in 'Queens Park Rangers' started by kiwiqpr, Feb 23, 2012.

  1. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #11681
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  2. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    I don't usually like to blame referees but he clearly cost Scotland that game today.

    I thought things were going pretty well until he blew that whistle at 2.00pm to start the match.
     
    #11682
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  3. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #11683
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  4. kiwiqpr

    kiwiqpr Barnsie Mod

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    Diet;
    Day 1. Removed all the fattening food from the fridge.
    It was delicious.
     
    #11684
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  5. kiwiqpr

    kiwiqpr Barnsie Mod

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    Completely misunderstood pride month.
    Who wants to buy 15 lions?
     
    #11685
  6. Didley Squat

    Didley Squat Well-Known Member

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  7. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #11687
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  8. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #11688
  9. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #11689
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  10. kiwiqpr

    kiwiqpr Barnsie Mod

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    Non stop football on the TV at the moment.

    At least it give the ladies a chance to catch up on all the ironing.
     
    #11690
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  11. kiwiqpr

    kiwiqpr Barnsie Mod

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    Just heard Joe Biden has visited Christian Eriksen in hospital.
    "He has managed to string some words together now, so that is promising" said Eriksen
     
    #11691
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  12. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    WEMBLEY TICKETS....
    England v Scotland
    Friday 18th June 2021
    Kick Off 8pm

    One of mates has two tickets in a corporate box for the England v Scotland game. He paid £300 each, but he didn't realise when he bought them that it was going to be the same day as his Covid 19 postponed wedding. If you are interested, he is looking for someone to take his place.

    It's at Reading Registry Office, at 2.30pm. The bride's name is Moira, she's 5'4", about 8 stone, quite pretty, has her own income and is a really good cook.
     
    #11692
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  13. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #11693
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  14. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #11694
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  15. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #11695
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  16. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #11696
  17. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    I went to a fancy dress party last night dressed as a harp. My friend said what are you? I said I’m a harp.

    He said your outfit’s too short to be a harp. I said are you calling me a lyre?
     
    #11697
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  18. kiwiqpr

    kiwiqpr Barnsie Mod

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    #11698
  19. kiwiqpr

    kiwiqpr Barnsie Mod

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    A man goes into a bank and points a gun at the cashier.
    "Hand over all your money or you're geography. "
    "Don't you mean History?"
    "Don't change the subject."
     
    #11699
  20. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    It is just before Scotland v England in the Euro’s Group game.
    Harry Kane goes into the English changing room to find all his team mates looking a bit glum.
    "What's up?" he asks.
    "Well, we're having trouble getting motivated for this game. We know it's important but it's only Scotland. They're ****e and we can't be bothered".
    Kane looks at them and says "Well, I reckon I can beat these by myself, you lads go down the pub."
    So Kane goes out to play Scotland by himself and the rest of the English team go off for a few pints. After a few jars they wonder how the game is going, so they get the landlord to put the teletext on. A big cheer goes up as the screen reads "England 1 - Scotland 0 (Kane 10minutes)". He is beating Scotland all by himself!
    Anyway, a few more pints later and the game is forgotten until someone remembers "It must be full time now, let's see how he got on". They put the teletext on.
    "Result from the Stadium "England 1 (Kane 10 minutes) - Scotland 1"(Angus McShagnasty 89 minutes)".
    They can't believe it, he has single handedly got a draw against Scotland!!
    They rush back to the Stadium to congratulate him. They find him in the dressing room, still in his gear, sat with his head in his hands. He refuses to look at them.
    "I've let you down, I've let you down."
    "Don't be daft, you got a draw against Scotland , all by yourself. And they only scored at the very very end"
    "No, No, I have, I've let you down...
    I got sent off after 12 minutes"
     
    #11700

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