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Jokes

Discussion in 'Leeds United' started by ellandback, Jun 25, 2019.

  1. OLOF

    OLOF Well-Known Member

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  2. OLOF

    OLOF Well-Known Member

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  3. Makemstine Roger

    Makemstine Roger Well-Known Member

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    #2823
    OLOF and Ringo Lion like this.
  4. brisbane-lion

    brisbane-lion Well-Known Member

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    Order of succession of North Korean leadership. First Kim Jong-un then Kim Jong-deux.
     
    #2824
    OLOF and Makemstine Roger like this.
  5. Makemstine Roger

    Makemstine Roger Well-Known Member

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    #2825
    OLOF and FORZA LEEDS like this.
  6. Makemstine Roger

    Makemstine Roger Well-Known Member

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    #2826
  7. Ringo Lion

    Ringo Lion Pumpkin

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  8. Whitejock

    Whitejock Well-Known Member

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    That's nearly your whole squad!

    No takers here. Try a duff pub team. :D
     
    #2828
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  9. blonogasoven

    blonogasoven Well-Known Member

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    Listening to the runners in the Gold Cup reminded me of possibly my favourite Tommy Cooper joke.
    In case you haven't heard it:
    I was clearing out the loft and found an old violin and an old painting. I took them to a valuer and he said, "What you have here is a Stradivarius and a Rembrandt.
    Unfortunately, Rembrandt made terrible violins and Stradivarius couldn't paint."
     
    #2829
  10. Old Git

    Old Git Well-Known Member

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    #2830
    Makemstine Roger, stonkin and OLOF like this.

  11. Aski

    Aski Well-Known Member

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    The urge for me to want to sing The Lion Sleeps Tonight is just a whim away ;)
     
    #2831
  12. xbpod

    xbpod Well-Known Member

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    It is just before Scotland v England in the Euro’s Group game.

    Kane goes into the English changing room to find all his team mates looking a bit glum.

    "What's up?" he asks.

    "Well, we're having trouble getting motivated for this game. We know it's important but it's only Scotland. They're ****e and we can't be bothered".

    Kane looks at them and says "Well, I reckon I can beat these by myself, you lads go down the pub."

    So Kane goes out to play Scotland by himself and the rest of the English team go off for a few pints. After a few jars they wonder how the game is going, so they get the landlord to put the teletext on. A big cheer goes up as the screen reads "England 1 - Scotland 0 (Kane 10minutes)". He is beating Scotland all by himself!

    Anyway, a few more pints later and the game is forgotten until someone remembers "It must be full time now, let's see how he got on". They put the teletext on.

    "Result from the Stadium "England 1 (Kane 10 minutes) - Scotland 1"(Angus Mcnasty 89 minutes)".

    They can't believe it, he has single handedly got a draw against Scotland!!

    They rush back to the Stadium to congratulate him. They find him in the dressing room, still in his gear, sat with his head in his hands. He refuses to look at them.

    "I've let you down, I've let you down."

    "Don't be daft, you got a draw against Scotland , all by yourself. And they only scored at the very very end"

    "No, No, I have, I've let you down...

    I got sent off after 12 minutes"
     
    #2832
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  13. Makemstine Roger

    Makemstine Roger Well-Known Member

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    #2833
    Gessa, Aski and OLOF like this.
  14. Makemstine Roger

    Makemstine Roger Well-Known Member

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    #2834
  15. xbpod

    xbpod Well-Known Member

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  16. Makemstine Roger

    Makemstine Roger Well-Known Member

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    and where is Harold Wilsons
    Its being used in the turbine propellor of a jumbo jet<laugh><laugh><laugh><laugh>
     
    #2836
    FORZA LEEDS and 2 pennth like this.
  17. xbpod

    xbpod Well-Known Member

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  18. Makemstine Roger

    Makemstine Roger Well-Known Member

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    versus
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    #2838
  19. xbpod

    xbpod Well-Known Member

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  20. Makemstine Roger

    Makemstine Roger Well-Known Member

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    #2840
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