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The barnsley joke page

Discussion in 'Barnsley' started by kiwiqpr, Mar 25, 2014.

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  1. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #10801
    Wooperts_duck, Jul 26, 2021
    San Diego, Didley Squat, Makemstine Roger and 1 other person like this.
  2. Didley Squat

    Didley Squat Well-Known Member

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    Classic!
     
    #10802
    Didley Squat, Jul 27, 2021
    Wooperts_duck and San Diego like this.
  3. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #10803
    Wooperts_duck, Jul 28, 2021
    San Diego, Makemstine Roger and Gordon Armstrong like this.
  4. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #10804
    Wooperts_duck, Jul 28, 2021
    San Diego, BluefromBridgend and Makemstine Roger like this.
  5. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    Bill, an undertaker, recently came home with a black eye.
    "What happened to you?" asked his wife.
    "I had a terrible day" replied Bill.
    "I had to go to a hotel and pick up a man who had died in his sleep.
    When I got there, the manager said they couldn't get him into a body bag because he had this huge erection.
    Anyway, I went up and, sure enough, there was this big naked guy lying on the bed with this huge erection.
    So I grabbed it with both hands and tried to snap it in half."
    "I see" said his wife, "that must have been awful, but how did you get the black eye?"
    Bill replied: "Wrong room."
     
    #10805
    Wooperts_duck, Jul 28, 2021
    San Diego, Gordon Armstrong, BluefromBridgend and 1 other person like this.
  6. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #10806
    Wooperts_duck, Jul 28, 2021
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  7. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #10807
    Wooperts_duck, Jul 28, 2021
    San Diego and Gordon Armstrong like this.
  8. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #10808
    Wooperts_duck, Jul 28, 2021
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  9. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #10809
    Wooperts_duck, Jul 29, 2021
    San Diego and Gordon Armstrong like this.
  10. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    Little Johnny asked for a bike for his Birthday. His dad said: "We'd get you one but our mortgage is £80,000 and your mum has lost her job."

    Next day little Johnny walked out with his suitcase packed, his dad asks: "Where you going son?"

    Little Johnny replied: "I walked past your room last night and heard you tell mum you were pulling out, then I heard mum tell you to wait coz she was coming too, I'm not staying here on me own with an £80,000 mortgage and no fu*king bike!"
     
    #10810
    Wooperts_duck, Jul 29, 2021
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  11. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #10811
    Wooperts_duck, Jul 29, 2021
    Gordon Armstrong likes this.
  12. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    I'm sure there's a cream for that.....

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    #10812
    Wooperts_duck, Jul 29, 2021
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  13. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #10813
    Wooperts_duck, Jul 29, 2021
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  14. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #10814
    Wooperts_duck, Jul 30, 2021
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  15. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #10815
    Wooperts_duck, Jul 30, 2021
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  16. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    Seems legit....

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    #10816
    Wooperts_duck, Jul 30, 2021
    Makemstine Roger, BluefromBridgend, Gordon Armstrong and 1 other person like this.
  17. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    Went to Bosworth battlefield yesterday.
    There’s a plaque in the ground there that says King Richard the 3rd fell here.
    I’m not surprised. I nearly tripped over it myself!
     
    #10817
    Wooperts_duck, Jul 30, 2021
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  18. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    Further to my efforts of growing my Stella Artois tree it's coming along nicely. It’s got buds....

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    #10818
    Wooperts_duck, Jul 30, 2021
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  19. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #10819
    Wooperts_duck, Jul 30, 2021
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  20. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    Off to University in an attempt to improve my Cuppa Soup making technique.

    I'm doing a Bachelors Degree.
     
    #10820
    Wooperts_duck, Jul 30, 2021
    San Diego, Makemstine Roger and Gordon Armstrong like this.
Page 541 of 748
: this kiwi dont eat worms, kiwi never sleeps, kiwi was here, LIKE KIWI, kiwis watching you lot, kiwi farts a lot

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