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JACK-ANORY FOR A FUNNY STORY - Joke Thread & Comedy Club

Discussion in 'Swansea City' started by swimaway, Jun 18, 2011.

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  1. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #11501
    Wooperts_duck, Sep 26, 2021
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  2. swantastic

    swantastic Well-Known Member

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    #11502
    swantastic, Sep 27, 2021
  3. swantastic

    swantastic Well-Known Member

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    #11503
    swantastic, Sep 27, 2021
    daimungeezer, Wooperts_duck, neveroffsidereff and 1 other person like this.
  4. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #11504
    Wooperts_duck, Sep 27, 2021
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  5. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #11505
    Wooperts_duck, Sep 27, 2021
  6. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #11506
    Wooperts_duck, Sep 27, 2021
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  7. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #11507
    Wooperts_duck, Sep 27, 2021
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  8. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    RETIREMENT BONUS
    The Royal Navy found they had too many officers and decided to offer an early retirement bonus. They promised any officer who volunteered for Retirement a bonus of £1,000 for every inch measured in a straight line between any two points in his body. The officer got to choose what those two points would be.
    The first officer who accepted asked that he be measured from the top of his head to the tip of his toes. He was measured at six feet and walked out with a bonus of £72,000...
    The second officer who accepted was a little smarter and asked to be measured from the tip of his outstretched hands to his toes. He walked Out with £96,000.
    The third one was a non-commissioned officer, a grizzly old Chief Stoker who, when asked where he would like to be measured replied, 'From the tip of my penis to my testicles.'
    It was suggested by the pension man that he might want to reconsider, explaining about the nice big cheques the previous two Officers had received. But the old Chief insisted and they decided to go along with him providing the measure was taken by a Medical Officer.
    The Medical Officer arrived and instructed the Chief to drop 'em,' which he did.
    The Medical Officer placed the tape measure on the tip of the Chief's penis and began to work back. Dear Lord!' he suddenly exclaimed, 'Where are your testicles?'
    The Old Chief calmly replied, ' The Falkland Islands'.
     
    #11508
    Wooperts_duck, Sep 27, 2021
  9. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    I've just got a job for Halloween making plastic Draculas.

    There's only two of us on the production line, so I've got to make every second count.....
     
    #11509
    Wooperts_duck, Sep 27, 2021
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  10. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #11510
    Wooperts_duck, Sep 27, 2021
    daimungeezer, Taffvalerowdy and neveroffsidereff like this.

  11. Taffvalerowdy

    Taffvalerowdy Well-Known Member

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    upload_2021-9-28_8-30-8.jpeg
     
    #11511
    Taffvalerowdy, Sep 28, 2021
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  12. swantastic

    swantastic Well-Known Member

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    #11512
    swantastic, Sep 28, 2021
  13. Taffvalerowdy

    Taffvalerowdy Well-Known Member

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    #11513
    Taffvalerowdy, Sep 28, 2021
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  14. Taffvalerowdy

    Taffvalerowdy Well-Known Member

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    #11514
    Taffvalerowdy, Sep 28, 2021
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  15. swantastic

    swantastic Well-Known Member

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    Screenshot_20210928-175241.png Screenshot_20210928-175017.png
     
    #11515
    swantastic, Sep 28, 2021
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  16. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #11516
    Wooperts_duck, Sep 28, 2021
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  17. duggie2000

    duggie2000 Well-Known Member

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    #11517
    duggie2000, Sep 28, 2021
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  18. Taffvalerowdy

    Taffvalerowdy Well-Known Member

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    #11518
    Taffvalerowdy, Sep 29, 2021
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  19. Taffvalerowdy

    Taffvalerowdy Well-Known Member

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    #11519
    Taffvalerowdy, Sep 29, 2021
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  20. Taffvalerowdy

    Taffvalerowdy Well-Known Member

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    #11520
    Taffvalerowdy, Sep 30, 2021
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