January window….

But back up right back is last position we need

 

If Eddie and Mandy check out this thread they'll save themselves a hell of a lot of work.
Man there's some good shouts in here!

 

Did imagine what it will be like when January comes and a report drops like…
“Sule signs for NUFC for £10m. He was out of contract in 6 months and wouldn’t sign an extension so NUFC swooped. He is rumoured to be in £150k a week.”

Or,

“Lingaard has signed a three year deal with the magpies on a £150k a week deal.”

Or even better still,

“Vlahovic has decided he wanted to spearhead newcastles attack for the remainder of his career. He idolises Shearer and wants to outscore him.”

 

Seen a report stating first signing will be Brazilian striker Artur Cabral from Basel for £15m. 25 goals in 26 so far this season in Swiss league so in my estimate that makes him probably a 63 in 26 in the Scottish league and 1 in 9 striker here.

 

Right, you’ll be disappointed in my decisions, but my decisions are final….

Haaland would be another Jon Dahl-Tomassen…. it won’t work at NUFC, it might be best he goes elsewhere - them’s my instincts!

Alvarez - he won’t look right in a black and white shirt and he’s too small for my team

Vlahovic - look, I’ve given it some thought, reviewed the videos; he’s more placement than power and aggression

I have scrupulously researched this. We don’t want any of those 3. I’m truly sorry.


Now - I need that Drogba clone that whose shots will not evade or skip past a defender or keeper; I want the shot to eviscerate the keeper and cross the goal line leaving blood and entrails - I want defenders getting blown to the sides in a Saving-Private-Ryan way as the ballistics of the ball effortlessly scythe them down; I want fans getting whiplash; I want a one-man-supernatural force that wins games solo and pisses the other clubs and media off and let’s them start articles with

“XXXX wonder goals an aberration of football”
Louise Taylor “Eddie Howe’s Newcastle United once again defied footballing logic as an otherwise one sided encounter was bizarrely decided in their favour following a second half hattrick by XXXX”

“Obscene amounts paid to NUFC number 9, XXXX, but there’s no doubting his value to this otherwise workmanlike team”

“Klopp bemoans the money-centric state of football and the loss of identity of ‘once great club’ Newcastle United”

I want XXXX

Find him.

 

He looks like 60-70% of what I’m after…. but only if he grew his hair.

My search continues….

 

Patrick Schick.

 

True but if the new signing was better than Manquillo then worth while albeit I agree not a main priority.

 

See I'm not saying it's not worthwhile but I don't want us to have a certain budget and not fill the priority positions because we've splashed the cash on an unnecessary signing.

We need 2 brand new centre midfielders, 1 back up striker (or first team player of we going to start 2), either a starting left back or back up. Centre backs at least 1.

That could easily be over £150m. But if that's our limit then spending £40m (I've guessed this number) on Trippier reminds me of when we spent almost £15m on Murphy.

 

Fair one mind is LB not the same, Lewis is looking decent and Dummett nearly fit again for his ten games a season.

 

Dummett is awful. And when I say awful I mean absolutely **** at left back.

 

Will XXX do?

 

The Czech yes? Hmm, old but tried and tested.

 

And completely **** compared to the ones you've poo pooed

 

He’s only 75% of the player XXXX is….

 

Alright!!! Kin’ell….

 

Anyway….. I have a feeling my perfect 2-season striker will be African or Dutch…. so I’m narrowing my focus there.

 

Dutch? De Jong lol

 

The Brazilian player Cabral?

 

They carved an F1 grand prix circuit out of a desert town, and it had to be the fastest F1 street circuit ever when they were only ever used to camel racing, I'm feeling pretty confident we'll have a tad more than we're used to in the transfer windows like. This being said, I want one of them drone shows to go up every time we score a goal at SJP as they were canny impressive like. It would also be pretty cool if we could have a Saudi Airforce flyover before very game too........but for now I'll make do with that ****e shop's signs being scraped off the stadium - easily pleased me.