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Off Topic Lighten Up - have a laugh: Warning, may contain Adult Material

Discussion in 'Horse Racing' started by Ron, Oct 31, 2011.

Page 75 of 78
  1. Ron

    Ron Well-Known Member
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    That looks pre historic <yikes>
     
    #1481
    Ron, Jun 2, 2021
  2. QuarterMoonII

    QuarterMoonII Economist

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    Surely it is 2p. They must pay 1p each because of rounding.

    ​
     
    #1482
    QuarterMoonII, Jun 7, 2021
  3. Saf

    Saf Not606 Godfather+NOT606 Poster of the year 2023

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    #1483
    Saf, Jun 26, 2021
    karlos5001 likes this.
  4. QuarterMoonII

    QuarterMoonII Economist

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    Out in the heat of Afghanistan, a Taliban is fleeing and he is becoming desperate for water. Then he sees someone in the distance so he heads towards them.

    As he gets closer, he sees that it is an old British soldier. He asks him, “Do you have any water?” The solder replies, “No, the well here is dry. But would you like to buy one of these regimental ties? They are only £10.”

    The Afghan shouts, “You infidel. I don’t need a tie. I need water. I should kill you but I must go and find water.” The soldier thinks for a moment and then says, “It doesn’t matter that you don’t want to buy a tie and you hate me. I will show you that I am a much better human than you.” Pointing into the distance he continues, “Over that hill about two miles away is our Sergeant’s Mess, where they have all the ice cold water you need.”

    The Taliban staggers away up the hill, cursing the British soldier as he goes.

    Several hours later the Afghan comes back virtually crawling, collapses at the old British soldier’s feet and gasps, “They won’t let me in without a f**king tie.”
     
    #1484
    QuarterMoonII, Jul 6, 2021
    karlos5001, OddDog and Ron like this.
  5. redcgull

    redcgull Well-Known Member

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    #1485
    redcgull, Jul 8, 2021
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  6. QuarterMoonII

    QuarterMoonII Economist

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    please log in to view this image

    ​
     
    #1486
    QuarterMoonII, Aug 17, 2021
  7. QuarterMoonII

    QuarterMoonII Economist

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    Game, Set and Match...
    please log in to view this image

    ​
     
    #1487
    QuarterMoonII, Sep 13, 2021
  8. Saf

    Saf Not606 Godfather+NOT606 Poster of the year 2023

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    Randy Andy has confessed!

     
    #1488
    Saf, Oct 3, 2021
  9. QuarterMoonII

    QuarterMoonII Economist

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    Open season on the Princess of Woke
    please log in to view this image

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    #1489
    QuarterMoonII, Nov 12, 2021
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  10. QuarterMoonII

    QuarterMoonII Economist

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    Move to Canada to escape the public gaze. Then move to Montecito, California, for more privacy...
    please log in to view this image

    ​
     
    #1490
    QuarterMoonII, Nov 12, 2021
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  11. Tamerlo

    Tamerlo Well-Known Member

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    Two of David Attenborough’ s cameramen were filming lions in the Kalahari Desert.
    As they closed in to get better shots, one of the lions turned, roared, and then charged at them.
    Quick as a flash, the main cameraman whipped off his shoes and put on a new pair of Nike trainers.
    “ They won’t help you outrun that lion,” scoffed his colleague.
    “ I don’t need to do that,” came the reply.
    “ All I need to do is outrun YOU !
     
    #1491
    Tamerlo, Jan 4, 2022
  12. Bustino74

    Bustino74 Thouroughbred Breed Enthusiast

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    #1492
    Bustino74, Jan 4, 2022
  13. SwanHills

    SwanHills Well-Known Member

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    #1493
    Last edited: Jan 4, 2022
    SwanHills, Jan 4, 2022
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  14. Ste D

    Ste D Well-Known Member

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    Screenshot_20220329-081551_Samsung Internet.jpg
     
    #1494
    Ste D, Mar 29, 2022
    Archers Road likes this.
  15. Archers Road

    Archers Road Urban Spaceman

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    #1495
    Archers Road, Mar 29, 2022
    Ste D likes this.
  16. Tamerlo

    Tamerlo Well-Known Member

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    I saw my GP on Thursday. He turned very serious when I said you can get Viagra tea bags on the NHS.
    He nearly fell off his chair when I told him they don’t improve your sex life- but they do stop your biscuits going soft!
     
    #1496
    Tamerlo, Jul 31, 2022
  17. SwanHills

    SwanHills Well-Known Member

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    <laugh>
     
    #1497
    SwanHills, Jul 31, 2022
  18. SwanHills

    SwanHills Well-Known Member

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    #1498
    Last edited: Aug 5, 2022
    SwanHills, Aug 4, 2022
  19. OddDog

    OddDog Mild mannered janitor
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    #1499
    OddDog, Aug 4, 2022
  20. Tamerlo

    Tamerlo Well-Known Member

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    Good God, Oddy, even I wouldn't have got away with that one!
    It makes my best man joke at my best friend's wedding - " I don't know why he got married. It's like joining a library where you can only get one book out at a time"- seem tame by comparison.
     
    #1500
    Tamerlo, Aug 4, 2022
    redcgull and OddDog like this.
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