1. Log in now to remove adverts - no adverts at all to registered members!

JACK-ANORY FOR A FUNNY STORY - Joke Thread & Comedy Club

Discussion in 'Swansea City' started by swimaway, Jun 18, 2011.

Page 659 of 865
  1. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
    Staff Member

    Joined:
    Jan 30, 2011
    Messages:
    144,467
    Likes Received:
    263,483
    please log in to view this image
     
    #13161
    Wooperts_duck, May 23, 2022
    daimungeezer and Makemstine Roger like this.
  2. swantastic

    swantastic Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jun 5, 2011
    Messages:
    18,378
    Likes Received:
    30,520
    Screenshot_20220523-210137.png
     
    #13162
    swantastic, May 23, 2022
    daimungeezer, Makemstine Roger and Wooperts_duck like this.
  3. duggie2000

    duggie2000 Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jul 18, 2014
    Messages:
    10,730
    Likes Received:
    14,074
    IMG_20220523_194615.jpg
     
    #13163
    duggie2000, May 23, 2022
    daimungeezer, Makemstine Roger and Wooperts_duck like this.
  4. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
    Staff Member

    Joined:
    Jan 30, 2011
    Messages:
    144,467
    Likes Received:
    263,483
    please log in to view this image
     
    #13164
    Wooperts_duck, May 23, 2022
    daimungeezer and Makemstine Roger like this.
  5. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
    Staff Member

    Joined:
    Jan 30, 2011
    Messages:
    144,467
    Likes Received:
    263,483
    please log in to view this image
     
    #13165
    Wooperts_duck, May 24, 2022
    Makemstine Roger likes this.
  6. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
    Staff Member

    Joined:
    Jan 30, 2011
    Messages:
    144,467
    Likes Received:
    263,483
    please log in to view this image
     
    #13166
    Wooperts_duck, May 24, 2022
    neveroffsidereff, daimungeezer and Makemstine Roger like this.
  7. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
    Staff Member

    Joined:
    Jan 30, 2011
    Messages:
    144,467
    Likes Received:
    263,483
    OK. So we've all heard of the actor Richard Gere.

    But it is such a shame that his fame overshadowed that of his famous ventriloquist father..... Gotler !!
     
    #13167
    Wooperts_duck, May 24, 2022
    daimungeezer and Makemstine Roger like this.
  8. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
    Staff Member

    Joined:
    Jan 30, 2011
    Messages:
    144,467
    Likes Received:
    263,483
    There were these two priests who rode bikes to church every Sunday. Well one day one of the priests showed up to work without his bike. The other priest asked where his bike was so the first priest said, "I don't know, but I think it got stolen!"
    The other priest said, "Well what you do is read off the Ten Commandments, and when you get to "Thou shall not steal" someone will confess to the crime."
    The next time the two saw each other the priest had his bicycle back. "I see you got your bike back! Did you do what I said?" the one priest said.
    The other said, "Well kind of, when I was reading the commandments and I got to Thou Shall Not Commit Adultery, I seemed to remember where I had left it."
     
    #13168
    Wooperts_duck, May 24, 2022
    Makemstine Roger and daimungeezer like this.
  9. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
    Staff Member

    Joined:
    Jan 30, 2011
    Messages:
    144,467
    Likes Received:
    263,483
    In the village where I live everyone wears a jumper 2 sizes too small.

    Never found out why even though its a tight knit community.
     
    #13169
    Wooperts_duck, May 24, 2022
    Makemstine Roger and daimungeezer like this.
  10. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
    Staff Member

    Joined:
    Jan 30, 2011
    Messages:
    144,467
    Likes Received:
    263,483
    I was in the chemistry lab at school earlier and I said to the prep assistant, “What can I use to get rid of germs?”

    She said, "Ammonia cleaner."

    I said, "Oh I'm sorry, I thought you worked here..."
     
    #13170
    Wooperts_duck, May 24, 2022
    Makemstine Roger and daimungeezer like this.

  11. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
    Staff Member

    Joined:
    Jan 30, 2011
    Messages:
    144,467
    Likes Received:
    263,483
    please log in to view this image
     
    #13171
    Wooperts_duck, May 24, 2022
    Makemstine Roger and daimungeezer like this.
  12. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
    Staff Member

    Joined:
    Jan 30, 2011
    Messages:
    144,467
    Likes Received:
    263,483
    I joined a gym and said to the trainer, “I want to impress beautiful girls, which machine should I use?”

    “Try the ATM outside,” he said.
     
    #13172
    Wooperts_duck, May 24, 2022
    daimungeezer, Makemstine Roger and Taffvalerowdy like this.
  13. swantastic

    swantastic Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jun 5, 2011
    Messages:
    18,378
    Likes Received:
    30,520
     
    #13173
    swantastic, May 24, 2022
    Wooperts_duck, Makemstine Roger and daimungeezer like this.
  14. Taffvalerowdy

    Taffvalerowdy Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    May 31, 2011
    Messages:
    126,305
    Likes Received:
    224,969
    upload_2022-5-25_20-27-45.png
     
    #13174
    Taffvalerowdy, May 25, 2022
    Makemstine Roger, daimungeezer, neveroffsidereff and 1 other person like this.
  15. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
    Staff Member

    Joined:
    Jan 30, 2011
    Messages:
    144,467
    Likes Received:
    263,483
    please log in to view this image
     
    #13175
    Wooperts_duck, May 25, 2022
    Makemstine Roger, daimungeezer and Taffvalerowdy like this.
  16. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
    Staff Member

    Joined:
    Jan 30, 2011
    Messages:
    144,467
    Likes Received:
    263,483
    Kevin gets a New Secretary.
    A few days later his wife learns of this this new hire, and so he faces a volley of rapid, suspicious questions.
    Emma (Kevin's wife): “Does your new secretary have nice legs?" Kevin: “Didn’t quite notice."
    Emma: "What color are her eyes?" Kevin: “Haven’t had the time to check."
    Emma: "What are the nail polish colors she uses, metallic, gel or neon?" Kevin:
    “Not a clue in the world." Emma: "Does she have a local accent?” Kevin: “I barely spoke to her, so don’t know.”
    Emma: "How does she dress?" Kevin: "Very quickly.”
     
    #13176
    Wooperts_duck, May 25, 2022
    Makemstine Roger, daimungeezer, neveroffsidereff and 1 other person like this.
  17. Taffvalerowdy

    Taffvalerowdy Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    May 31, 2011
    Messages:
    126,305
    Likes Received:
    224,969
    upload_2022-5-26_16-12-18.png
     
    #13177
    Taffvalerowdy, May 26, 2022
    daimungeezer, Makemstine Roger, Wooperts_duck and 1 other person like this.
  18. Makemstine Roger

    Makemstine Roger Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jan 25, 2011
    Messages:
    58,723
    Likes Received:
    114,722
    please log in to view this image
     
    #13178
    Makemstine Roger, May 26, 2022
    daimungeezer and Wooperts_duck like this.
  19. swantastic

    swantastic Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jun 5, 2011
    Messages:
    18,378
    Likes Received:
    30,520
     
    #13179
    swantastic, May 26, 2022
    daimungeezer and Makemstine Roger like this.
  20. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
    Staff Member

    Joined:
    Jan 30, 2011
    Messages:
    144,467
    Likes Received:
    263,483
    please log in to view this image
     
    #13180
    Wooperts_duck, May 26, 2022
    daimungeezer and Makemstine Roger like this.
Page 659 of 865

Share This Page