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The barnsley joke page

Discussion in 'Barnsley' started by kiwiqpr, Mar 25, 2014.

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  1. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    My girlfriend said if I don’t do page 7 of the Kama Sutra she will leave me.

    It put me in a very difficult position.
     
    #13041
    Wooperts_duck, Oct 5, 2022
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  2. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #13042
    Wooperts_duck, Oct 5, 2022
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  3. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #13043
    Wooperts_duck, Oct 5, 2022
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  4. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    The Methodist Church and the Spiritual Church are merging and will now be known as The Methylated Spirits
     
    #13044
    Wooperts_duck, Oct 5, 2022
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  5. Taffvalerowdy

    Taffvalerowdy Well-Known Member

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    upload_2022-10-6_17-13-42.png
     
    #13045
    Taffvalerowdy, Oct 6, 2022
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  6. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    One day, while strolling down the boardwalk, John bumped into an old friend of his, Rob, from high school. “You look great John, how do you stay looking so young? Why you must be 60 already but you don’t look a day over 40!” Rob exclaimed.
    “I feel like I’m 40 too!” replied John.
    “That’s incredible” exclaimed Rob, “Does it run in the family? How old was your dad when he passed?”
    “Did I say he was dead?” asked John. “He’s 81 and is more active then ever. He just joined the neighborhood basketball team!” responded John.
    “Whoa! Well how old was your Grandfather when he died?”
    “Did I say he died” asked John. Rob was amazed. “He just had his 105th birthday and plays golf and goes swimming each day! He’s actually getting married this week!”
    “Getting married?!” Rob asked. If he’s 105, why on earth does he want to get married?!
    John looked at Rob and replied, “Did I say he wanted to?”
     
    #13046
    Wooperts_duck, Oct 6, 2022
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  7. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #13047
    Wooperts_duck, Oct 6, 2022
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  8. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #13048
    Wooperts_duck, Oct 6, 2022
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  9. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #13049
    Wooperts_duck, Oct 6, 2022
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  10. Makemstine Roger

    Makemstine Roger Well-Known Member

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    #13050
    Makemstine Roger, Oct 7, 2022
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  11. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    A group of Americans are touring Ireland:
    One of the women in the group is a real curmudgeon, constantly complaining. "The bus seats are uncomfortable, food is terrible, too hot, too cold, accommodation is dreadful."
    One day, the group arrives at the site of the famous Blarney Stone.
    "Good luck will be followin’ ya all your days if you kiss the Blarney Stone." Their guide says. "Unfortunately, it’s being cleaned today and so no one will be able to kiss it. Perhaps we can come back tomorrow."
    "We can’t be here tomorrow." The nasty woman shouts. "We have some other boring tour to go on. So I guess we can’t kiss the stupid stone."
    "Well now." The guide says. "It is said that if you kiss someone who has kissed the stone, you’ll have the same good fortune."
    "And I suppose you’ve kissed the stone?" The woman scoffs.
    "No, ma’am." The frustrated guide responds. "But I have sat on it."
     
    #13051
    Wooperts_duck, Oct 7, 2022
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  12. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    How many beers does it take to get a tropical bird drunk?

    Toucans.
     
    #13052
    Wooperts_duck, Oct 7, 2022
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  13. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    Two Glaswegians, Archie and Jimmy, are sitting in the pub discussing Jimmy's forthcoming wedding.
    "Och, it's all goin' pure brilliant," says Jimmy. "Ar've got everythin' organised awready, the fluers, the church, the caurs, the reception, the rings, the minister, even ma stag night."
    Archie nods approvingly.
    "I've even bought a kilt to be married in!" continues Jimmy.
    "A kilt?" exclaims Archie, "That's magic, you'll look pure smart in that.
    What's the tartin?...."
    "Och," says Jimmy, "A'd imagine she'll be in white.”
     
    #13053
    Wooperts_duck, Oct 7, 2022
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  14. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    Vladimir Putin’s 70th birthday party abandoned after game of pass the parcel takes 14 hours

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    #13054
    Wooperts_duck, Oct 7, 2022
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  15. Makemstine Roger

    Makemstine Roger Well-Known Member

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    #13055
    Makemstine Roger, Oct 8, 2022
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  16. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #13056
    Wooperts_duck, Oct 8, 2022
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  17. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #13057
    Wooperts_duck, Oct 8, 2022
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  18. Taffvalerowdy

    Taffvalerowdy Well-Known Member

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    upload_2022-10-9_8-51-8.png
     
    #13058
    Taffvalerowdy, Oct 9, 2022
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  19. Taffvalerowdy

    Taffvalerowdy Well-Known Member

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    upload_2022-10-9_15-3-1.jpeg
     
    #13059
    Taffvalerowdy, Oct 9, 2022
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  20. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #13060
    Wooperts_duck, Oct 9, 2022
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Page 653 of 748
: this kiwi dont eat worms, kiwi never sleeps, kiwi was here, LIKE KIWI, kiwis watching you lot, kiwi farts a lot

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