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The barnsley joke page

Discussion in 'Barnsley' started by kiwiqpr, Mar 25, 2014.

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  1. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    My Chinese pal said he’s just opened a Crows shop.

    I said you mean a clothes shop, he said no come in and have a rook.
     
    #13461
    Wooperts_duck, Jan 21, 2023
    San Diego likes this.
  2. Taffvalerowdy

    Taffvalerowdy Well-Known Member

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    I came home from work last night and told my wife that I've been given a huge promotion at work which means I get my own office and I get to employ my own private secretary.

    "Well, you'd better hire someone who's a bit old, fat and ugly," she said, "I don't want you choosing someone who you're going to be tempted to have sex with."

    "That's fair enough," I replied, "When can you start." <laugh><laugh><laugh>
     
    #13462
    Taffvalerowdy, Jan 22, 2023
    San Diego, Didley Squat, Wooperts_duck and 1 other person like this.
  3. Didley Squat

    Didley Squat Well-Known Member

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    #13463
    Didley Squat, Jan 23, 2023
    San Diego, Taffvalerowdy, Wooperts_duck and 1 other person like this.
  4. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    please log in to view this image
     
    #13464
    Wooperts_duck, Jan 23, 2023
    San Diego and Makemstine Roger like this.
  5. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    A woman is very distressed because she has not been married very long and yet her husband has lost interest in her. So she goes to see her doctor and relays the problem.
    The doctor doesn't seem worried at all and tells her that it is nothing serious, that her husband has merely lost his animal instincts. The doctor tells her to crumble some dog biscuits on her husband's cereal every morning without telling him, and little by little this will bring out the savage beast in him. He wishes her good luck and tells her to come back in a week with a progress report.
    A week later the woman returns to the doctor, who asks how her husband is.
    "He's dead," she replies.
    "Dead?" the doctor asked.
    "Yes. He was sitting in the driveway cleaning his bum, and I backed over him with the car.''
     
    #13465
    Wooperts_duck, Jan 24, 2023
    San Diego and Makemstine Roger like this.
  6. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #13466
    Wooperts_duck, Jan 24, 2023
    Didley Squat, San Diego and Makemstine Roger like this.
  7. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #13467
    Wooperts_duck, Jan 25, 2023
    Didley Squat, San Diego and Makemstine Roger like this.
  8. Taffvalerowdy

    Taffvalerowdy Well-Known Member

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    upload_2023-1-26_20-10-33.jpeg
     
    #13468
    Taffvalerowdy, Jan 26, 2023
    Didley Squat, San Diego, Makemstine Roger and 1 other person like this.
  9. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #13469
    Wooperts_duck, Jan 26, 2023
    Didley Squat, San Diego and Makemstine Roger like this.
  10. Makemstine Roger

    Makemstine Roger Well-Known Member

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    The police knocked at the door late last night, and said.
    "Where were you at 20.05 tonight?"
    I replied, "Well, as it happens, at 8pm I took the missus to the bedroom, for a bit of you know what."
    The missus shouted from the kitchen
    "yeah that's right . . . . but **** knows where he was at 5 past !"
     
    #13470
    Makemstine Roger, Jan 27, 2023
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  11. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #13471
    Wooperts_duck, Jan 28, 2023
    San Diego, Taffvalerowdy and Makemstine Roger like this.
  12. Taffvalerowdy

    Taffvalerowdy Well-Known Member

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    upload_2023-1-28_11-47-34.png

    Welsh bobsleigh team in training ….
     
    #13472
    Taffvalerowdy, Jan 28, 2023
    Didley Squat, Makemstine Roger, San Diego and 1 other person like this.
  13. Makemstine Roger

    Makemstine Roger Well-Known Member

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    is it normal for the rudderman to be arse about tit then :emoticon-0138-think
     
    #13473
    Makemstine Roger, Jan 28, 2023
    Didley Squat, Wooperts_duck and San Diego like this.
  14. Taffvalerowdy

    Taffvalerowdy Well-Known Member

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    upload_2023-1-28_19-6-9.png
     
    #13474
    Taffvalerowdy, Jan 28, 2023
    Wooperts_duck and Makemstine Roger like this.
  15. Makemstine Roger

    Makemstine Roger Well-Known Member

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    #13475
    Makemstine Roger, Jan 29, 2023
    San Diego, Didley Squat, Wooperts_duck and 1 other person like this.
  16. Taffvalerowdy

    Taffvalerowdy Well-Known Member

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    upload_2023-1-29_18-31-49.png
     
    #13476
    Taffvalerowdy, Jan 29, 2023
    San Diego, Didley Squat, Wooperts_duck and 1 other person like this.
  17. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #13477
    Wooperts_duck, Jan 29, 2023
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  18. Makemstine Roger

    Makemstine Roger Well-Known Member

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    check out 13475 mate
     
    #13478
    Makemstine Roger, Jan 30, 2023
    San Diego, Wooperts_duck and Didley Squat like this.
  19. Didley Squat

    Didley Squat Well-Known Member

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    #13479
    Didley Squat, Jan 30, 2023
    Wooperts_duck and Gordon Armstrong like this.
  20. Makemstine Roger

    Makemstine Roger Well-Known Member

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    what a lovely mod Gordon is causes ructions with his delete and move ploys, and yet cant resist a bit of knife sticking instead of keeping his extra large portion of snotter out <laugh><laugh><laugh><laugh><laugh><laugh>
     
    #13480
    Makemstine Roger, Jan 30, 2023
    San Diego and Wooperts_duck like this.
Page 674 of 746
: this kiwi dont eat worms, kiwi never sleeps, kiwi was here, LIKE KIWI, kiwis watching you lot, kiwi farts a lot

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