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Off Topic Jokes thread

Discussion in 'Portsmouth' started by devonFRATTONiser, Jan 25, 2015.

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  1. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    Although Jesus was known as a Carpenter, he never actually sang on any of the album's.
     
    #26261
    Wooperts_duck, Mar 26, 2023
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  2. antipodean exile

    antipodean exile Well-Known Member

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    #26262
    antipodean exile, Mar 27, 2023
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  3. antipodean exile

    antipodean exile Well-Known Member

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    #26263
    antipodean exile, Mar 27, 2023
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  4. antipodean exile

    antipodean exile Well-Known Member

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    #26264
    antipodean exile, Mar 27, 2023
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  5. antipodean exile

    antipodean exile Well-Known Member

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    #26265
    antipodean exile, Mar 27, 2023
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  6. antipodean exile

    antipodean exile Well-Known Member

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    Just a little update on the situation with my son because some of you have been pretty concerned.
    Thank you for that.
    He's taken going to jail pretty hard.
    He's refusing all food, he's swearing and screaming and is highly unpleasant with anyone who comes near him.
    He's graffitied the walls and is refusing to wear clothes.
    As a family we're pretty united in our decision never to play Monopoly with him ever again
     
    #26266
    antipodean exile, Mar 27, 2023
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  7. antipodean exile

    antipodean exile Well-Known Member

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    #26267
    antipodean exile, Mar 27, 2023
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  8. antipodean exile

    antipodean exile Well-Known Member

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    #26268
    antipodean exile, Mar 27, 2023
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  9. antipodean exile

    antipodean exile Well-Known Member

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    #26269
    antipodean exile, Mar 27, 2023
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  10. antipodean exile

    antipodean exile Well-Known Member

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    #26270
    antipodean exile, Mar 27, 2023
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  11. devonFRATTONiser

    devonFRATTONiser Well-Known Member
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    This cost of living crisis is really killing me.

    I've had to sell my oven, washing machine, fridge and all my furniture, just so I can afford to pay for my contents insurance
     
    #26271
    devonFRATTONiser, Mar 27, 2023
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  12. devonFRATTONiser

    devonFRATTONiser Well-Known Member
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    A male Collie went out to meet his girlfriend (his bitch).
    He had in his mouth a bunch of daffodils, roses and tulips.
    On the way there a man kidnapped him and took him home.
    He threw the poor dog into the oven, still holding his daffodils, roses and tulips.
    The man then added a block of English Cheddar.
    His wife walked into the kitchen ans exclaimed, "What the hell do you think you're doing?"
    He replied; "I'm cooking our tea. Collie Flower Cheese"
     
    #26272
    devonFRATTONiser, Mar 27, 2023
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  13. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #26273
    Wooperts_duck, Mar 27, 2023
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  14. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #26274
    Wooperts_duck, Mar 27, 2023
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  15. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #26275
    Wooperts_duck, Mar 27, 2023
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  16. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #26276
    Wooperts_duck, Mar 27, 2023
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  17. antipodean exile

    antipodean exile Well-Known Member

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    #26277
    antipodean exile, Mar 28, 2023
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  18. antipodean exile

    antipodean exile Well-Known Member

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    #26278
    antipodean exile, Mar 28, 2023
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  19. antipodean exile

    antipodean exile Well-Known Member

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    #26279
    antipodean exile, Mar 28, 2023
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  20. antipodean exile

    antipodean exile Well-Known Member

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    #26280
    antipodean exile, Mar 28, 2023
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