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Off Topic Heres a joke for you all

Discussion in 'Queens Park Rangers' started by kiwiqpr, Feb 23, 2012.

  1. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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  2. Taffvalerowdy

    Taffvalerowdy Well-Known Member

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  3. Makemstine Roger

    Makemstine Roger Well-Known Member

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    According to a news report, a certain private school was recently faced with a unique problem. A number of 12-year-old girls were beginning to use lipstick and would put it on in the bathroom. That was fine, but after they put on their lipstick, they would press their lips to the mirror leaving dozens of little lip prints.
    Every night the maintenance man would remove them, and the next day the girls would put them back.
    Finally the principal decided that something had to be done. She called all the girls to the bathroom and met them there with the maintenance man. She explained that all these lip prints were causing a major problem for the custodian who had to clean the mirrors every night (you can just imagine the yawns from the little princesses)..
    To demonstrate how difficult it had been to clean the mirrors, she asked the maintenance man to show the girls how much effort was required.
    He took out a long-handled squeegee, dipped it in the toilet, and cleaned the mirror with it. Since then, there have been no lip prints on the mirror.
    There are teachers .. and then there are educators!
     
    #14583
  4. Makemstine Roger

    Makemstine Roger Well-Known Member

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    #14584
  5. Makemstine Roger

    Makemstine Roger Well-Known Member

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    Just been watching Women's golf on Sky. It's so much like real life...

    They're shyte at driving but great with an iron!
     
    #14585
  6. Makemstine Roger

    Makemstine Roger Well-Known Member

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    Little Johnny is getting vocabulary in health class and the teacher says
    Who can use the word urinate in a sentence
    Johnny puts his hand up
    Ok go ahead Johnny
    Well teacher urinate but if you’re tits were bigger you’d be a nine
     
    #14586
  7. Taffvalerowdy

    Taffvalerowdy Well-Known Member

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  8. Makemstine Roger

    Makemstine Roger Well-Known Member

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    Three dogs were sitting in the waiting room at the vet's when they struck up a conversation. The Yellow Labrador turned to the Black Labrador and said, " So why are you here? "

    The Black Lab replied, "I'm a pisser. I piss on everything....the sofa, the curtains, the cat, the kids. But the final straw was last night when I pissed in the middle of my owner's bed." The Yellow Lab said, " So what's the vet going to do?

    "Gonna cut my nuts off " came the reply from the Black Lab. "They reckon it'll calm me down."

    The Black Lab then turned to the Yellow Lab and asked "Why are you here "

    The Yellow Lab said, "I'm a digger. I dig under fences, dig up flowers and trees, I dig just for the hell of it. When I'm inside, I dig up the carpets. But I went over the line last night when I dug a great big hole in my owners' couch." "So what are they going to do to you? " the Black Lab inquired. "Looks like I'm losing my nuts too," the dejected Yellow Lab said.

    The Black Lab then turned to the Great Dane and asked, "Why are you here?" "I'm a humper," said the Great Dane. "I'll hump anything. I'll hump the cat, a pillow, the table, fence posts, whatever. I want to hump everything I see." "Yesterday my owner had just got out of the shower and was bending down to dry her toes, and I just couldn't help myself. I hopped on her back and started hammering away."

    The Black and the Yellow Labs exchanged a sad glance and said,

    "So, it's nuts off for you too, huh?"

    The Great Dane said, "No. Apparently I'm here to get my nails clipped
     
    #14588
  9. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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  10. kiwiqpr

    kiwiqpr Barnsie Mod

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    #14590

  11. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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  12. kiwiqpr

    kiwiqpr Barnsie Mod

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    Only recently a boat carrying red paint crashed into a boat carrying blue paint.... The crew were marooned.
     
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  13. kiwiqpr

    kiwiqpr Barnsie Mod

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  14. kiwiqpr

    kiwiqpr Barnsie Mod

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  15. kiwiqpr

    kiwiqpr Barnsie Mod

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  16. kiwiqpr

    kiwiqpr Barnsie Mod

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  17. kiwiqpr

    kiwiqpr Barnsie Mod

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  18. kiwiqpr

    kiwiqpr Barnsie Mod

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  19. kiwiqpr

    kiwiqpr Barnsie Mod

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  20. kiwiqpr

    kiwiqpr Barnsie Mod

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