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JACK-ANORY FOR A FUNNY STORY - Joke Thread & Comedy Club

Discussion in 'Swansea City' started by swimaway, Jun 18, 2011.

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  1. swantastic

    swantastic Well-Known Member

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    #14981
    swantastic, Mar 23, 2023
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  2. swantastic

    swantastic Well-Known Member

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    #14982
    swantastic, Mar 23, 2023
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  3. swantastic

    swantastic Well-Known Member

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    #14983
    swantastic, Mar 23, 2023
    Makemstine Roger and daimungeezer like this.
  4. swantastic

    swantastic Well-Known Member

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    #14984
    swantastic, Mar 23, 2023
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  5. duggie2000

    duggie2000 Well-Known Member

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    #14985
    duggie2000, Mar 24, 2023
    Makemstine Roger, daimungeezer, Wooperts_duck and 2 others like this.
  6. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #14986
    Wooperts_duck, Mar 24, 2023
    Makemstine Roger, daimungeezer, neveroffsidereff and 1 other person like this.
  7. swantastic

    swantastic Well-Known Member

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    #14987
    swantastic, Mar 25, 2023
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  8. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    My mates wife left him last week. She said she was going out for milk.
    I asked him how he was coping.
    He said it's ok, he's been using powdered stuff
     
    #14988
    Wooperts_duck, Mar 25, 2023
    Makemstine Roger and daimungeezer like this.
  9. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    Just been watching Women's golf on Sky. It's so much like real life...

    They're sh*t at driving but great with an iron!
     
    #14989
    Wooperts_duck, Mar 25, 2023
    Makemstine Roger, daimungeezer, neveroffsidereff and 1 other person like this.
  10. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    An Irishman goes to the doctor, who after examining him says
    “You have some problems with your heart, but if you take these tablets, I think it will be okay.
    “So the doctor gives the man the tablets and the patient asks,
    “Do I have to take them every day?”
    No,” replies the doctor, “take one on the Monday, skip the Tuesday, take one on the Wednesday, skip the Thursday and go on like that.
    “Two weeks later the doctor is walking down the street, and he sees the patient’s wife.“Hello Mrs Murphy,” he says, “how’s your husband?”
    “Oh he died of a heart attack,” says Mrs Murphy.
    “I’m very sorry to hear that,” says the doctor, “I thought if he took those tablets he would be all right.”
    “Oh the tablets were fine,” says Mrs Murphy,
    “It was all the bloody skipping that killed him!”
     
    #14990
    Wooperts_duck, Mar 25, 2023
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  11. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #14991
    Wooperts_duck, Mar 25, 2023
    Makemstine Roger and daimungeezer like this.
  12. Taffvalerowdy

    Taffvalerowdy Well-Known Member

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    upload_2023-3-25_23-22-15.jpeg
     
    #14992
    Taffvalerowdy, Mar 25, 2023
    Makemstine Roger, Wooperts_duck and daimungeezer like this.
  13. Taffvalerowdy

    Taffvalerowdy Well-Known Member

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    #14993
    Taffvalerowdy, Mar 26, 2023
    Makemstine Roger, neveroffsidereff, Wooperts_duck and 1 other person like this.
  14. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #14994
    Wooperts_duck, Mar 27, 2023
    Makemstine Roger and daimungeezer like this.
  15. duggie2000

    duggie2000 Well-Known Member

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    #14995
    duggie2000, Mar 27, 2023
    Makemstine Roger, daimungeezer, neveroffsidereff and 1 other person like this.
  16. duggie2000

    duggie2000 Well-Known Member

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    #14996
    duggie2000, Mar 27, 2023
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  17. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #14997
    Wooperts_duck, Mar 27, 2023
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  18. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    According to a news report, a certain private school was recently faced with a unique problem. A number of 12-year-old girls were beginning to use lipstick and would put it on in the bathroom. That was fine, but after they put on their lipstick, they would press their lips to the mirror leaving dozens of little lip prints.
    Every night the maintenance man would remove them, and the next day the girls would put them back.
    Finally the principal decided that something had to be done. She called all the girls to the bathroom and met them there with the maintenance man. She explained that all these lip prints were causing a major problem for the custodian who had to clean the mirrors every night (you can just imagine the yawns from the little princesses)..
    To demonstrate how difficult it had been to clean the mirrors, she asked the maintenance man to show the girls how much effort was required.
    He took out a long-handled squeegee, dipped it in the toilet, and cleaned the mirror with it. Since then, there have been no lip prints on the mirror.

    There are teachers .. and then there are educators!
     
    #14998
    Wooperts_duck, Mar 28, 2023
    Makemstine Roger, daimungeezer and neveroffsidereff like this.
  19. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #14999
    Wooperts_duck, Mar 28, 2023
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  20. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #15000
    Wooperts_duck, Mar 28, 2023
    Makemstine Roger likes this.
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