Suck my sack Pulis lolololololol - My thoughts on the Stoke game

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Without the cap, Pulis looks like Gollum.

 

Still looks like a tramp though.

 

Love how Pulis thought they just 'couldn't get over the line'.

Stoke really are dirty thugs. Constantly trying to antagonise, niggle and cheat.

 

They are 3rd bottom of the form table. Although they are 11th I am still clinging on to the hope that they could be relegated.

 

Only Pukeliss could complain that Cisse should've been sent off for raising his hands to Taylor and Ryan 'who me' shawcross. Obviously didn't see his keeper on Saylor!!!
It was like the Steven Taylor comedy show today - his backpass and 'calm down' to the Gallowgate and his winding up Begovich before the free kick.
I had to look at the line to check Cisse was onside too!

 

They're two places above us on a +2 better goal difference.

Not going to risk giving you any more rep tonight.

I'll try and put my wrongs right tomorrow.

 

Big win and we did what was needed yesterday. Horrible team to play against.

Fair to say I disagree with a few of your marks Tash.

Personally thought Jonas was terrific. These are the games when you really understand his value. His tracking back was superb and his defensive work all round terrific.

Haidara simply must replace Santon now. What has happened to Davide? Thought Santon was poor. And again found himself on the end of a Debuchy cross!!! What bit of of the basic rules of full back play does he not understand?

Also thought Cisse had a good game considering the lack of quality and numbers he had to deal with. His first touch and general play is improving all the time. Thought the Gouf was average personally. Saw plenty of the ball but just not his day. Tiote had a decent game but the pen was just sheer stupidity. Cabaye superb again, he is fecking tremendous, we'll do well to hold onto him. 9 minimum for me. Sissoko was good again.

Agree with the marks for Elliott, Debuchy, Saylor and Mbiwa, their defensive stability really was crucial. Well done Marveaux too. Often flatters to deceive but that was a clever little game changing ball he played.

Well done Pards though. Changed things at just the right time, with just the right players. Excelling since being given some options.

 

Don't know how anybody could only rate Jonas's game as a 3, he gave his all as usual and although the legs might not be what they were his heart is still there. I'd say he was worth a 7.

 

the thing that iwill remember about this game is looking at the linesmen and being so happy at seeing him running up the pitch. I can still see it now! that is when I went crazy

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Good performance?!?!

We were poor, the game was boring.

Elliot - 6 - average performance, although that's not his fault. He had nowt to do.

Debuchy - 7 - good, 1 really good cross that everyone missed in the 2nd half which was annoying. I like Simpson but this man is head and shoulders better than him!!
Mbiwa - 8.5 - Brilliant, comfortable performance vs giants
Taylor - 8 - Brilliant, never misplaced a pass and hasn't for the last 3 games 54/54!! Astounding!!
Santon - 5 - thought he was poor, deserved to be subbed!
Tiote - 6 - Average and typical performance from Tiote. Some good passing.
Cabaye - 7.5 - decent, held the keys to unlock the doors, corners were woeful again. Great FK!!
Sissoko - 7 - OK
Gouffran - 5.5 - work rate can't be faulted and other than the chance in 1st half I thought he was anonymous.
Jonas - 5 - did he play?
Cisse - 5 - did nothing for 90 mins. Calm finish though!

Haidara - 6.5 - impressive substitute appearance.
Marveaux - 7 - 4 PL assists double than anyone else. Don't understand why he doesn't start over JG.

Campbell - no rating, eagerly awaiting to see more!

 

What are people talking about on here... Santon poor? He was defensively awesome in the last game! He was statistically the top tackler in both teams!!!! Seriously... I know I'm sat next to Santon's numero uno ardent fan, and she chirps in every three seconds with praise, but I genuinely can't understand what is going on with you chaps.

He's been defensively poor in a few games during Jan/Feb, but some of you have turned him into a scapegoat (why do we need one with the 11 we put out now?), all the whilst willfully ignoring his blistering start to the season. He has one game where offensively he wasn't at his best (he still wasn't bad, Jonas actually wasted the vast majority of attacking positions in their link-up). So by what imagined standard are we holding him to this week? Please give any evidence whatsoever of him having a bad game, because he was doing a very good job until he was subbed. It was his best game in weeks. Debuchy was the one getting caught (see Cheick's covering).

Are we talking the penalty shout? The one where he was pushed over, and the Stoke player dived over Santon Sprawling legs to claim a foul? That's literally the only thing I could point to which wasn't well managed. One time he was almost caught out with a pass down the line, but he showed a burst of pace to get back. There was a mint moment where he dribbled it out of danger past 2/3 Stoke players as well. Nobody I overheard at the game or after leaving the ground had anything but bemusement about the fact he was subbed, so literally where was this magical period of foul-ups that I've missed?

Stoke are prize arses when it comes to some of their tactics. Bullies, until it comes to showing physicality back!

Personally, I'd rate it thus;

Elliot - 7.5 Don't really remember him having to do much but punch and catch, which he did well, so all good.
Debuchy - 6 Was decent. He has much better delivery than Santon, Jonas and Gouffran, but his defending is still a bit suspect.
Taylor - 7.5 Commanding as always. One thing that annoyed me about the defence was that they let Crouch win the header without contesting for it at all. I suspect this was a tactic though, because we had Tiote and Sissoko pressing higher than normal to get on the deeper Stoke players to win the second ball.
Mbiwa - 6 Out of position almost cost a goal in the first half. Cross came in, Taylor holding Crouch in check, Mbiwa completely lost by his man (Jerome) leaving Debuchy with a tricky 2 on 1 (Debuchy stayed in the middle because he didn't know what to do, which left Jerome and a winger/fullback who'd pushed wide unmarked). Luckily we cleared. This happened a couple of times during the game, and is something he needs to work on. Very promising player though.
Santon - 7.5
Jonas - 4
Cabaye - 6 Would have been a 5 had it not been for his free-kick. Corners/free-kicks are soooooo poor, and his crosses were terrible too, not to mention his pretty pap tackling. Some decent passing, but he's not having a great season, just scoring more often (always welcome).
Sissoko - 6.5 Frustrating game from him. So much pace, he'd burst away from defenders, consistently, have them in all sorts of trouble, then misplace his pass every time. Just didn't happen for him, and he knew it. He did have some very clever touches, but the precision of his general passing down on the last few games.
Tiote - 6 Had another decent-ish game. He gives away his first ever penalty (that I can remember) and everyone starts saying he's always doing it? Eh no, he isn't. It was unfortunate and a clear mistake, not some sort of horrible offence he's done a thousand times! His passing was pretty decent, and made some nice passes. Showed an incredible thirst for the ball, and almost created a great chance for Cisse through chasing the ball. A little bit too high up the pitch to be effective for me though.
Cisse - 7.5 I was impressed by Cisse. He didn't see much of the ball, but he shielded it well, passed it well and had one chance and took it very well! He wasn't in the game at all, bar a few nice touches nearer midfield, but he was making good runs and intelligent movement off the ball (had Sissoko passed to him before being fouled (very easy pass), it would have been 1-1 without the need for the free-kick delight)
Gouffran - 7 Missed a decent chance, but was tricky and offered a good outlet as always, really like him.

Marv - 8 Played the pass of the game, the one that we'd been looking for since the 1st minute. Bravo!

 

Think people are being a bit harsh on Jonas, he didn't do as badly as some people are making out.

I thought Saylor was worth 10 for his chicken dance alone.

Has there been anything posted on youtube yet?

 

Jonas was one I couldn't decide on properly, hence left no comment. He was ok, did lots of running as per, but he seemed generally ineffective again. Lost possession a few times in crossing positions (when a pass to Santon was on), and we all know he's not at his best when he's crossing anyway. Why bother making him go down the side at all? Just because there's a bit of space? He should be making dribbles into the box every-time for my money, that's when he's at his best. Running in a straight line towards the corner flag, stopping, checking, seeing where Santon is, waiting til a second man comes out etc is all well and good when you've got a good cross on you, but he doesn't, even though he's improved.

For me, Stoke is a game Jonas should be tailor made for. They like balls lumped in, and not tricky players. He should have been running at the box directly. If I was naive I'd say it was a lack of confidence, but it obvious it's part of Pardew's tactics to get him out there crossing and working with Santon (which doesn't work).

I'd still prefer to see Haidara + Santon on the left flank, think it would be more effective. I have a feeling this could be Jonas' last season with us.

On Saylor, DT and I had a good chuckle . The almost own goal and reaction was brilliant! Found the piss-taking of Begovic hilarious as well. Personally think it was playing on his mind, because I would expect him to have saved both goals. He was a bit slow on the first, and very slow for the second, despite them being good finishes (his catching exhibition was fantastic though!). Typical post match analysis on MOTD, we have comments about Cisse's push back (Wilson pushed him first) with regards it being a sending off, but Begovic's punch went unmentioned .

 

I think its just decided prior to the game now. Its like people struggle to understand that defending is a massively important part of the game. The phrase which just pisses me off more than most is "he's a winger, offered nothing in attack". I would agree he has never been the most exciting wide man in an attacking sense. He was perfect for Stoke though and ensuring we remained solid. His covering of Santon was first class, I lost count of the number of times he tracked back. Sometimes you need that from wide players. Ji Sung Park at Man U was a perfect example. Never really created much but would run all day and his tracking back was superb.

Its the same when people talk about the best players of all time or currently. No defender or keeper is ever even given a sniff. Thank goodness they are are not in charge of the team, because if you don't have a solid base you'll get ****ing nowhere!

I'm not saying Jonas is great, but he is a very useful player to have around for certain circumstances, and I wish people would watch what he offers defensively in a game rather than say "how many crosses did he put in?" Lets not forget we have the most attacking full backs in the league bar none! you have to have balance or you get ripped to pieces. Boring but true.

 

He's a ****.

I think we can all agree

Complains about decisions yet sets him team up to constantly foul and bully opposing teams.