The great wife v dog debate

Now please bare with me, it’s a cold wet afternoon here in Coxhoe, telly is crap so I thought, what can we debate to pass away the day, what do I have expertise in, bloody obvious, wives and dogs.

I have had 2 wives and a long term partner or two and I’m on my third dog with different breeds in both.

Wife one was a curvy blonde, number two was a tall auburn haired 15 years my junior and my long term partners, one schoolteacher and my present a born and bred Glaswegian Celtic fan.

Dog one was a big daft cross, number 2 a fantastic springer spaniel and now Osca.

So my learned friends the question is....

What is best, most faithful, easiest on pocket and easiest to live with, wife or dog?

If you could only have one what would you miss lost about the other and what would you miss least?

Lets have a good and fair debate with no name calling, remember that one mans wife is another mans dog.

 

No canines for me....travel to much to make it fair on a dog..

Saying that, never married either..

 

as stated elsewhere syd, lock both in the boot of a car and when you let them out see which one is happy to see you.

Dogs faithful, friendly, fairly low maintenance.

Wives: miserable, expensive, moody etc. In her defence i would like to point out mine can suck a golfball thru a hosepipe which persuaded me to propose 20 years ago.

 

I remember reading somewhere that many men find it difficult to live by themselves, like after a wife passes away.

I am one of those (nobody died yet). So I will probably always try to have a woman around. But only when it works like it does with my current setup.
A good woman plus dogs is a great combo. This is my second long term relationship and it looks like being the last one too, fingers crossed.

Does anybody on here prefer cats? I know blokes who do and they appear to be perfectly normal

 

well someone has to say it......................

I love a good pussy

 

Me, they have independence and much less bother....

 

Dogs Advantages
1. Pleased to see you what ever time you come home
2. Never complain when you roll them over and put them on their back
3. Cheap to feed
4. Enjoy going for walks without there being shops there.

Womans Advantages
Ive only been married 31 years and have yet to find any
I have promised the next model i get will be quieter and cheaper to run

 

Well....... Dogs ask for very little, love you unconditionally, don't care one way or t'other weather you're loaded or skint, they are happy to live a simple life & are completely unmaterialistic.

Now how many of us have women that fit the above? Thought not.

Then again, our lass is a great laugh, cracking personality, canny cook & a first class shag.

So I guess it's swings & roundabouts like.

Are you any further enlightened Syd?

 

Has anyone managed to train their wives into giving head on demand? - I think the answer's obvious.

 

Kidnap your wife and your dog and lock them in your carboot for 12 hours.

When you open it, which one will be happy to see you?

Then kill them both

 

if it wasn't for the sex id pick a dog everytime,

 

Osca always says what my wives didnt,"By thats a big one", he's a good boy

 

ace Syd ****ing ace, theres no reply to that one

 

Janie's just come in, all slavvery & pist like, demanding sex! WTF do women think we are? Switches that they can just turn on & off?

Telt her to go to bed coz I had 2 ****s while she out wi her mates.

****in women, never could work them out. If I behaved like that, I'd be ****in ashamed of masel.

Cheeky bitch!

 

Well I would say the minus points should be listed first.

Hair all over the place, enough to block a vacuum cleaner.

Freezing wet nose touching a bare part of your body making you jump.

Whine and howl when kept on a short lead whilst out.

Scratching rude places when you get company.

Doing silent farts that would kill a horse.

Only happy when getting their tummies tickled, or stroking them.

Get moody if you don't feed them the best food.

They want to be beside you all the time.

Unless their nails are kept in good condition they scratch chunks out of you.

When in the car they need to have the window wide open even if it's cold.

Couple of plus points.

Good with children usually.

If trained early enough, can be very loving toward you.




I will list the ones for the dog later.

 

Does the fact my ex wife was (and still is for that matter) a complete ****ing bitch, also qualify her as a dog as well?

In which case **** them both (although not literally Syd Lol)

Would I do it all again?


Mmmmmmm! I'm a daft twat so yes, probably. Ha! Ha!

 

Can't work women out like, she asked me what I had 2 ****s over.

So I tell her, "sniffed your mates knickers after you lot went out & come in her shoes ", she not happy I used her mates shoes to drink my wine from.

That's what you get for being honest.

So don't tell them what wont hurt them.

Can't see what she's got to whinge about seeing as she's an escort like.

****ing birds!

 

Jesus Chunky to much info again. hahaha

Nice that you married your car mind.

Would I have to go to Sweden to marry my Volvo?

 

Well, sick of bein chowed on at for tellin the truth, gets on me tits.

****ing love her to bits like but she always ****in chowin on then wanting instant sex when she comes home pist.

Not reet like.

 

Made me laugh, MR. Good start to a Monday morning

So, do we have a winner yet in the wife V dog debate?