Pinocchio, Snow White, and Superman are out for a stroll in town one day. As they walk, they come across a sign: "Beauty contest to find the most beautiful woman in the world." "I am entering" said Snow White. After half an hour she comes out and they ask her, "Well, how'd ya do?" " First Place ," said Snow White. They continue walking and they see a sign: "Contest to find the strongest man in the world.." "I'm entering," says Superman. After half an hour he returns and they ask him, "How did you make out?"" First Place ," answers Superman. "Did you ever doubt it?" They continue walking when they see a sign: "Contest! Who is the greatest liar in the world?" Pinocchio enters. After half an hour he returns with tears in his eyes... "What happened?" they asked. "Who the hell is Chris Cairns?" asked Pinocchio.
A blonde goes into work one morning crying her eyes out. Her boss asked sympathetically, 'What's the matter?' The blonde replies, 'Early this morning I got a phone call saying that My mother had passed away.' The boss, feeling sorry for her, says, 'Why don't you go home for the day? Take the day off to relax & rest.' 'Thanks, but I'd be better off here. I need to keep my mind off it and I have the best chance of doing that here.' The boss agrees and allows the blonde to work as usual. A couple of hours pass and the boss decides to check on the blonde. He looks out from his office and sees the blonde crying hysterically. 'What's so bad now? Are you gonna be okay?' he asks. 'No!' exclaims the blonde. 'I just received a horrible call from my sister. Her mother died, too!'