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Age

Discussion in 'The Premier League' started by luvgonzo, Jul 22, 2018.

  1. luvgonzo

    luvgonzo Pisshead

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    So last night I went to watch a DJ set some lads called Public Order and very good they were. There were other adults there of my age some older some a bit younger. Loads of kids ranging from 18 to 20ish. I was the only adult interested in the music which is ok, I'm not quite ready for Phil Collins yet.

    So I think I'm pretty cool and "down with the kids" but also realise that they don't see me in that way and it's best to watch at the back and never ever dance.

    I'm having a conversation with my oldest friends and one of them brings up a book he's reading Bukowski Ham on Rye, I mention that I'm reading it (again) myself and the little ****er looks at me like I have 2 heads, I couldn't possibly be into something cool like Bukowski.

    Getting old is just ****, no matter what you have done or what you're into younger people just think you're old and crap.

    So a few weeks ago my youngest pipes up that he's faster than me, I tell him that he's not and that I could do his older brother in a race until he was 14 (the youngest is 11), he laughs and says it wouldn't be a contest, over the coming weeks he's on at me to race him until last night after I've been to a DJ set, I've had a few beers and young people are pissing me off and the whole thing just comes to a head.

    We set a marker to run to and I'm going to teach him a lesson that his old dad still has it in him to destroy his youngest in a short sprint, I can taste the glory, this little **** had bitten off more than he can chew.

    Off we go and he's matching me, we get close to the end and I just sense that he's going to nick it, I'm not concentrating and glancing at him instead of the goal, my mind wants my legs to go faster but they won't listen, frustration, lack of focus and the realisation that he's going to win! My balance goes I fall forward, there's no fighting this, I'm going down. I hit the tarmac and slide a bit. I bounce up praying that Mrs luv wasn't recording it, I get lucky. My knee is a mess, bloody and swollen, my right arm grazed from elbow to hand, both hands are sore from the fall. The neighbour asks worriedly if I'm ok and says, "it was almost as if you were young again for a moment there", I laugh and make out like it was nothing and casually go inside the house.

    I get a beer from the fridge and sit on the sofa, my arm stings but not as much as my pride.
     
    #1
  2. Tobes

    Tobes Warden
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    Accept it, they look at you like you’re a fossil.
     
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  3. Sweats

    Sweats Fat lives matter
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    <laugh>

    Oh mate. Did something not to dissimilar a few weeks ago.

    I was down with the kids last night. Was pissed as a parrot and thought it would be funny to walk round the m&s petrol station with my arse out as nonchalantly as possible. Then when the Mrs was driving home past some of the swanky bars in town hung my arse out the passenger window whilst papping the horn.

    I found it very funny at the time. This morning I’m preying no one knew it was me. Can believe anyone could Id me from my hairy arse.
     
    #3
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  4. DUNCAN DONUTS

    DUNCAN DONUTS SOCIAL JUSTICE WARRIOR

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    Why are they letting 11 year old in a nightclub?
     
    #4
  5. I'm now working with people who were not born when I joined the department.

    The other depressing one is when you tell people what music you like and they respond with "my mum absolutely loved them when she was much younger"......
     
    #5
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  6. luvgonzo

    luvgonzo Pisshead

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    It was an afternoon outdoor event for someone's birthday.
     
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  7. Stan

    Stan Stalker

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    It’s horrible. I’ve had those moments when you’re playing footie or cricket and your brains knows what it is supposed to do but your body just doesn’t react like it used to. I suggest that you drink through it.
     
    #7
  8. Stan

    Stan Stalker

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    Here we go...
     
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  9. DUNCAN DONUTS

    DUNCAN DONUTS SOCIAL JUSTICE WARRIOR

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    You should have dropped some ecstasy <ok>
     
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  10. Stan

    Stan Stalker

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    He did but without his glasses he couldn’t find it again.
     
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  11. DUNCAN DONUTS

    DUNCAN DONUTS SOCIAL JUSTICE WARRIOR

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    You like cricket ?

    Kept that quiet.
     
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  12. And even if he could he wouldn't have been able to bend down to reach it.
     
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  13. Sweats

    Sweats Fat lives matter
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    I find hangovers far more difficult to deal with. Also late nights absolutely ruin me for days.
     
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  14. luvgonzo

    luvgonzo Pisshead

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    I can't do hangovers so tend to just stop drinking once I get to a certain point, it isn't worth it.

    The youngest to full advantage and took the piss out of me all night.
     
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  15. Sweats

    Sweats Fat lives matter
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    I just carry on drinking.
     
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  16. luvgonzo

    luvgonzo Pisshead

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    IMG_20180722_124307.jpg
     
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  17. Sweats

    Sweats Fat lives matter
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    #17
  18. luvgonzo

    luvgonzo Pisshead

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    Off on holiday next week If I'd have broken anything I'd be bang in trouble but all is well, ****ing hurts though.
     
    #18
  19. Stan

    Stan Stalker

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    I know. Some people go into fooking meltdown at the mention of cricket. Drives them fooking mad.
     
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  20. Sweats

    Sweats Fat lives matter
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    I don’t understand people who don’t like cricket. There’s nothing not to like.
     
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