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Airport Security

Discussion in 'General Chat' started by ex-german exile, Oct 21, 2011.

  1. ex-german exile

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    Living between Scotland and Germany I spend a lot of time in airports going thru security. I thought I had become immune to the ridiculous rules. However, yesterday my 16 mnth old son had his first flight and security at Edinburgh Airport surpassed itself accordingly. I'll try to be brief.

    We were told that although we had a long car journey after the flight we were only allowed to take enough baby food thru security for the duration of the flight. I won't bore you with the length discussion that preceded the following decision.

    We were tolf we could only take two of the four yoghurts we had with us and two of the four bottles of juice/milk plus the sealed jar of baby food. We were also told we had to taste 50% of our food in the presense of security. See if you can spot the flaw in the following procedure:

    We were allowed to choose which joghurts and bottles to taste!! (I opened and tasted two of each)

    We were then allowed to choose which two joghurts and two bottles to take with us and which to leave.

    I chose the two unopened, untasted joghurts and the two untasted bottles of milk.

    Please can somebody tell me HOW DOES THE FECK DOES THIS CONTRIBUTE TO SECURITY?
     
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  2. Otto Flayshow

    Otto Flayshow Well-Known Member

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    Cut to the chase, man. Did you have to spread your cheeks?
     
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  3. ex-german exile

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    They probably thought about it but they'd have had to change my nappy first!
     
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  4. gas

    gas ACCOUNT DELETED
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    Give the security guys a break. There would be a huge outcry if a baby turned out to be an international terrorist and blew up a plane. The people who do this difficult job are a little like Seb Coe in that they are the people that make Britain Great <ok>
     
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  5. GroveRanger

    GroveRanger Well-Known Member

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    If you live between Scotland and Germany isn't that the North Sea? Do you live on an oil rig?
     
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  6. stopmeandslapme

    stopmeandslapme Well-Known Member

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    Babies on planes - there is nothing worse.
     
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  7. gas

    gas ACCOUNT DELETED
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    Terrorist Babies on a planes<ok>
     
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  8. Jip Jaap Stam

    Jip Jaap Stam General Chat Moderator
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    Baby snakes?
     
    #8
  9. Mahmoud Ahmadinejad

    Mahmoud Ahmadinejad Well-Known Member

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    The bastards who decide to lean back when your agent is trying to set off a bomb
     
    #9
  10. Deleted 1

    Deleted 1 Well-Known Member
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    Or fat ****s who think it's all right to stand up and start pulling your seat back so you feel like you're on a ****ing waltzer. When things like that happen i'm almost willing the plane to crahsh on the basis that i'm happy to take a hit if it means spastics like that dying as well.
     
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  11. The Raging Oxter

    The Raging Oxter Well-Known Member

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    Drunk Glaswegians?
     
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  12. Gambol

    Gambol George Clooney's wee brother

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    The thing I hate most on a plane is being sat next to some ****in twat who assumes I want to have any kind of conversation with him.
     
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  13. stopmeandslapme

    stopmeandslapme Well-Known Member

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    Had one sit next to me on a coach, he had a gallon milk jug filled with lager. He fell asleep and his lit fag started burning a hole in his jeans. I let him burn.
     
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  14. Deleted 1

    Deleted 1 Well-Known Member
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    People like that should be thrown off aeroplanes and trains etc. There's no need for it. I always feel like saying "Listen to music, read a book, do sudoku, take your pet badger into the toilet and stick your willy up its bum - do anything you like to keep yourself occupied but **** off trying to talk to me you weirdo "
     
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  15. The Raging Oxter

    The Raging Oxter Well-Known Member

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    That must **** you right up what with you being schizophrenic.
     
    #15
  16. Jip Jaap Stam

    Jip Jaap Stam General Chat Moderator
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    _56194147_56180965.jpeg Testing...
     
    #16
  17. Gambol

    Gambol George Clooney's wee brother

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    I am not. I'm a sociopath. So **** you.
     
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  18. Jip Jaap Stam

    Jip Jaap Stam General Chat Moderator
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    Testing again....
     

    Attached Files:

    #18
  19. Otto Flayshow

    Otto Flayshow Well-Known Member

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    What in the wonderful world of sport are you up to, Jip?
     
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  20. Gambol

    Gambol George Clooney's wee brother

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    He's testing.
     
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